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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter dragged on floor by Entertainer

199 replies

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 20:13

My 8 year old was at School today and it was Pirate Day so they had an pretend pirate come in and do some activities. She has been in tears this evening saying the class was in a circle and he came up and frightened her and grabbed her by the foot then proceeded to drag her on the floor so she was on her back in front of every one being dragged around. She said it was supposed to be a joke but she was scared and it hurt her back. Is it me? Aibu? I'm extremely concerned.

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 02/11/2018 12:02

Verbeena I've directed multiple arts in education productions and this stuff is BASIC.

ANY actor worth his or her salt has a number of tricks which will help them decide who is and isn't up for some audience participation.

Grabbing kids with no warning isn't ok at all. IT's not ok.

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 12:06

She did the right thing to enquire, not to just minimise when her DD alleges inappropriate behaviour

I agree, which is why my first post said find out what really happened by asking the school first.
The daughter said it was a joke and not meant to be nasty though.
She sounds like she found the party too scary anyway even if it hadn't have gone on to leg pulling.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 02/11/2018 12:08

Our local kids entertainer pulls them around on a parachute, slightly dangerous but the kids love it. I think dragging by the leg is too easy to be physically uncomfortable and a bit weird. Why would you do that to a child you don't know? So easy to choose the wrong child who won't like it, as happened here.

DioneTheDiabolist · 02/11/2018 12:19

Weird.

AjasLipstick · 02/11/2018 12:24

Verbeena where do you get that from? "That she sounds like she found the party too scary anyway"? I haven't seen that from what OP posts

kaytee87 · 02/11/2018 12:26

verbeena keeps making little digs about ops daughter, best ignored.

AjasLipstick · 02/11/2018 12:26

Yes she does! I agree, best ignored.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 12:33

I work in a school and we've just had a staff session about safeguarding - an entertainer coming in and dragging children around seems in the scope of a safeguarding worry to me. Did they check he has a DBS?

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 12:34

Verbeena where do you get that from? "That she sounds like she found the party too scary anyway"? I haven't seen that from what OP posts

The updates. The OP said before there was any leg pulling (ok, misjudged, shouldn't have done it) the child thought the watermelon chopping was done too aggressively and felt a bit upset.
"Best off ignored?" What, for having a different opinion? My bad, forgot you can only post with the "right" opinion on here.
Why bloody ask if you don't want to hear other opinions?

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 12:35

Can we just remind ourselves that the culture of "oh don't make a fuss, it's just you who can't take a joke" - to females in particular - has caused nothing but damage, and we have to start being comfortable with challenging inappropriate behaviour

AngelsSins · 02/11/2018 12:35

Shocking how many people still teach girls that their boundaries don’t matter and it’s fine for men to trample all over them. Great lesson.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 12:36

This reply has been deleted

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VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 12:44

Nonsensical shite just because it's not YOUR opinion.
OK so.
OP, you're YANBU. What a bastard. Or should that be baaaaarstard.
Better?

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 12:46

@VerbeenaBeeks would you like to be dragged around by a stranger in front of your friends? If not, why not?

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 12:48

I have repeatedly said he misjudged and shouldn't have done it.
The OP's dd didn't sound like she was enjoying it anyway before that happened (from the updates before anyone asks again where I'm getting that from)
so it was never going to end well, was it.

BigChocFrenzy · 02/11/2018 12:49

Exactly, GunpowderGelatine When we call out inappropriate or sexist behaviour by men,
the usual tactics by them - and by those who habitually excuse them -

is that women / girls are too sensitive, not resilient, can't take a joke .... need to cope with men / boys,
need to consider the hurt feelings of men, when they are not allowed to do what they want

an of course the endless minimisation
and being told to consider those starving, abused women who have it worse - because we should just be thankful that Western men graciously don't do that to us.

BigChocFrenzy · 02/11/2018 12:54

If the entertainer did what the OP's DD said,
then his behaviour was totally unacceptable

and the school must review their policy to specify that any entertainers or outside staff are warned - as part of their contract - to keep at least the boundaries that a teacher or TA would

Otherwise, penalty clause is they forfeit some of their fee - that would concentrate minds

5foot5 · 02/11/2018 12:57

And yawn at "Well you ASKED for opinions" - doesn't make it OK to spout nonsensical shite. Always the nasty ones who trot that little gem out

I don't think I agree with Verbeenas opinion on this one but I accept she has a right to hold one and to offer it when asked.

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 12:59

Thankyou @5foot5 Smile
Agree, disagree with me all you like but there's no need to be so fucking nasty with it.
We're allowed to agree to disagree,

RomanyRoots · 02/11/2018 13:02

I'm afraid this is the way of the world now, we have taught our kids to be scared of their own shadow.
I was an entertainer and wouldn't have thought twice about doing this, as part of the act.
Such a shame the world has come to this. Sad
It's our children that are missing out.

Rememory · 02/11/2018 13:05

I'm surprised the entertainer was allowed to put his hands on a child at all. As a TA we weren't allowed to hug upset children.

Deadhappy · 02/11/2018 13:09

OP if you aren’t satisfied with the schools response when they call back, ask to speak to their designated safeguarding officer.

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 13:10

As a TA we weren't allowed to hug upset children

Sad Doesn't surprise me though.

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 13:49

I've spoken to the school and they say the incident did occur the way my daughter described and they have now phoned the agency they used and told them that part of the day was not appropriate and going to check on my daughter today at School.

OP posts:
RelicHunter · 02/11/2018 13:57

At least school are taking it seriously. A teacher should also have been on hand. Poor DD.