I need to have a difficult conversation with a colleague today.

[TheWifeofRequirement]

I’m 6 months into a role where I’m an expert in charge of a team of slightly junior experts.

My colleague used to be a junior expert under another ‘head of’ who had the role before me, but before I was given the job my colleague took a sideways step into a facilitation role which, although requires him to have some knowledge of my area, no longer requires him to get involved in the day to day.

Anyway, since I started, this colleague has struggled to maintain distance from the specialism and is dictating to me how to do said specialism on a daily basis.

It all came to a head over the last 2 days. He asked me to proof read an email and give feedback before it went to a client. I read it, and asked him to make a minor change because he was promising something in the email I’m not prepared to deliver. It was a minor thing: basically he promised to report to them daily which would be untenable from a commercial perspective and would put pressure on my team for no additional benefit. I asked him to change this to weekly reports and adhoc check ins with the client, he argued back and I clarified that as it’s my team delivering this, it will be weekly not daily.

He sent the email promising daily reporting.

I feel patronised, undermined and really bloody cross.

His role is to facilitate, not to dictate to me how to do my job and I’m now going to have to phrase this in a way that’s diplomatic and I’m struggling.

WIBU to basically tell him to back the fuck off and let me do my job? If so, how on earth do I phrase this??

Go you! I thought it was a fab follow up email 

enjoy your shag 

"I notice in your email to the client that you promised X. As per my our conversation (date) I am only able to deliver weekly updates. It may be that you need to clarify this to the client, as daily updates are not going to work."

Oooh, I like you when you're angry.

I’m furious. Absolutely apoplectic. So much so I’m going to have to wait until I’ve slept, eaten and had a shag before I tackle this one because without that, it’s likely I’ll scorch earth and there will be no coming back from it.

You go girl!

He's obviously a complete twat as well as a cheeky fucker. When you've praised to the max for streamlining processes, he wades in and tries to do the opposite AND gives direction to junior staff who are nothing to do with him.

He really doesn't get it, does he?

(We've just had a situation ay work today where a newish manager tried to meddle with the performance of another manager's staff, and he was put firmly back in his box.)

In my view it’s becoming a disciplinary matter. It’s directly undermining you, immediately and blatantly after you had had a reasonable discussion.

Who’s his line manager? Take it to them, giving the two examples. He needs a proper warning.

I’m looking forward to your update tomorrow! Nip this in the bud right now.

Time to scorch earth, and get those new processes and procedures firmly documented as the way the company does things. Also, remind your entire team that tasks are not to be done his way any more.

Hmm. I'd like to hear the other staff member's side of the story.

be clever. Very clever.
He isn’t. That’s you’re advantage

I absolutely do not want to scorch earth. I’m new here, he’s not. I need to be smarter than that and I feel like enough rope is the way to go.

I need to keep my head firmly above this and remain completely professional, it’s dangerous now.

Would it be possible for your team to have a shared mailbox where requests go to? Allows you to pick up on crap like this without your team having to "tell tales" also means when people are off work that tasks get picked up and previous email history is there for everyone?

You other approach is to be clear to OD about the new streamlined approach has been successfully implemented and is to continue otherwise there is zero profit and people will end up redundant?

Shamelessly placemarking for your next email op.

Don’t put up with any shite.

At least he’s helping you to build some resilience. The more you do this stuff the easier it gets.

He clearly hasn’t listened to a word I’ve said, but decided that because he can’t poke me anymore he’ll bypass me and poke my team instead

Hardly a surprise, is it?

Askme is correct that this may be turning into a disciplinary matter, so for pity's sake make sure you document everything. Even if he leaves there's no guarantee he won't take the nuclear option and do something to really damage the company, with the aim of blaming it on you

He sounds like a one-man time wasting machine.

You are not a poor manager. You have exactly the skills that your company require, and you are managing your team and work processes so effectively that you have been publicly praised by senior management. What you don’t have is experience of managing someone who is totally underhand and on a deliberate sabotage mission. Remember that it will be clear to more senior managers that he screwed up the delivery role, you’ve more than proven your capability here.

You mentioned the effectiveness of the processes you’ve implemented, and your use of a centralised tracker. Surely it would be possible to build delivery requests into your centralised processes, so that your team complete tasks from the work stack that you have oversight and approval of? Set up the system so that it isn’t possible to just bypass you to get your team to complete tasks.

Oh well, that’s another email then (nothing face to face now, it all needs documented from now on).

Further to my email yesterday setting out the relationship between you and my team, I note that you’ve asked x to do y. This is not part of their remit and they will not be doing it (or put in your actual answer/solution here OP)

Any request for you from input from my team should come through me. Please adhere to this process.

No niceties, no ‘just to clarify’ - just f*cking tell him.

I hate people who think think busy is good. IMO it’s just time wasting and clever people don’t need to just do stuff for the sake of it.

If you follow the process there ISNT a way to bypass me. The sneaky fucker whatsapped my team member to make the request and then emailed him. He KNOWS that’s not the process. Knob.

Geez.

Hmmm an email about how inappropriate it is to deliberately bypass the system and that it cost your team x wasted hours doing a task that was not required and not part of their job.

Unfortunately, he has a mindset that ‘hard work’ is a virtue and therefore you can’t possible criticise him for doing too much

But he obviously has zero commercial sense. You can't burn through fee hours over-servicing clients or you'll have no business. If he can't understand this basic maths then he must be thick.

Stop giving him so much power. He's just a mediocre man having a passive aggressive tantrum because you're better than him. Start to believe in yourself more.

If he pulls this shit again just keep it really short and simple: "I asked you not to do that, please can you change it? Thanks so much." Don't engage with this prick. Sounds like everyone is on your side anyway, you don't need him to like you.

I think he ought to be forced to say why he does these things.

I would word this feedback fairly strongly (stating it is unacceptable for him to promise services on behalf of a team he does not manage) and then put him in charge of sending these daily reports.

Send an email to your team, copying idiot bonce, telling them what you and idiot bonce have agreed ref ways of working, thank idiot bonce for supporting your team by working in this way.

Then tell all of your team NOT to use WhatsApp for work purposes, only corp email and to forward to you any emails from him asking them to work outwith the process.

Yes, ask him why he went straight to your team member and briefed them. There is no justification, so he'll have to make himself look like a pillock by explaining - either he has no confidence in you when your senior managers clearly do, implying that he knows better than the senior managers, which won't go down well; or he doesn't understand the process, which, if he's been there a long time, won't go down well either.

I want to stab him on your behalf after that...

When you’ve made your plan, there is nothing to stop you informing your manager of what you’re about to do or making sure he is happy with your tactics. He obviously doesn’t want to step in and do this for you (which is good), but as a managers’ manager myself, I would have no problem with one of mine saying to me “OD is being a dick, I’ve clearly told him not to and he’s done it again. I’m about to tell him not to talk shit to my team and I’m going to cc in his line manager. Just keeping you in the loop in case he come to you to whine about it.”

That way you’re not asking for spoonfeeding, you’re just keeping your manager informed- and giving him the opportunity to say “no don’t do that” if he doesn’t agree.

Good luck and teach the odious prat a lesson from MN