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Original poster

To make DD go to school in socks tomorrow (she says she will freeze and be miserable)

251 replies

jackieChansBedPan · 31/10/2018 22:57

She’s not 5 years old-she’s 12
She and her siblings have a few chores they have to do- you’d think I force her up chimneys the way she moans.

Anyway

She has 5 school shirts, 7 pairs of tights etc

Almost every other night or actually in the morning she will come in moaning about where are my tights/PE shorts/school shirts

She’s been known to shove clean ironed stuff in her dirty clothes hamper to avoid putting it away-

Yet again she’s come bolting down the stairs at almost 11pm asking where her tights are and can I put a wash on with ONE pair of tights ????

I’ve refused and told her she can wear socks and she’s raging.

Her dad has said I’m being too hard on her- I asked him to wash her tights by hand (he’s gone strangely silent and appears to be nowhere near a sink and a bottle of Persil)

I’m not being reasonable am I?

If she’s cold it might be the bolt up her bum she needs to look after her stuff

I’m hormonal

Thank you.

OP posts:
DrWhy · 31/10/2018 23:13

You are not bring harsh at all! Harsh would e dishing out some random punishment for not having put her clothes in correctly to be washed, this is simply natural consequences. If you don’t put your clothes in the washing cycle they don’t get clean. You either wear them dirty, get them clean yourself or don’t wear them.

RibbonAurora · 31/10/2018 23:14

Another who was doing my own laundry at 12 and occasional single items of hand washing. Of course she's going to need another clean pair for Friday so she (or your DH) might as well do both pairs together. You should be proud of yourself OP, you're teaching her a valuable lesson here.

Teaandbiscuits35 · 31/10/2018 23:14

We have the sock argument! My DD is 15 and her school is very particular about socks. I used to get asked if they were washed 5 mins after she’s put them in the basket at 10pm. She’s now regularly seen by the sink with the persil. They try their luck but good for you saying no.

Ellapaella · 31/10/2018 23:18

I totally agree with you OP
My eldest ds has been in charge of his own washing since he was 12 (year 8) for this very reason.
He's 16 now and I haven't done any of his washing for 4 years.
He is now super organised, has his own laundry basket in his bedroom and has not complained about a lack of clean underwear for a long long time.
He learnt fairly quickly that if he wasn't going to do it it wouldn't get done. It might seem harsh but actually you are setting them up with some good life skills which doesn't end with the laundry. He also now cooks for us all two nights a week. My DH is actually shameful in comparison.

Lolololololol · 31/10/2018 23:21

Spray them with a bit of febreeze and in the morning tell her you washed them Grin

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 31/10/2018 23:22

Either she can rewear them or wash them herself, or wear socks. Sounds fair enough to me

Your DH is being just as harsh as you because he's not washing them either! He can't say your being harsh whilst simultaneously doing the same thing.

anniehm · 31/10/2018 23:22

Show her how to wash tights by hand. Maybe it's time to teach her to wash the rest of her clothes too (I didn't and I wish I had sooner, really makes things easier).

SushiMonster · 31/10/2018 23:27

DH can show her how to hand wash tights. Or she can YouTube it.

MorbidlyObese · 31/10/2018 23:28

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Kokeshi123 · 31/10/2018 23:32

As others have said, tell her to hand wash them and dry them on the radiator etc. And tell Dad he is welcome to do this instead if he wants to. Silly man! Of course you are not being too hard on her.

Petitepamplemousse · 31/10/2018 23:33

OP I think you’re being hard on a 12 year old here. She will be cold in socks and look silly. Trust me I’m a teacher and no secondary school child wears socks in this weather. Tell her how to hand wash them, I bet she’s unsure.

Justmuddlingalong · 31/10/2018 23:34

She will be cold in socks and look silly. But it'll encourage her to take some responsibility then. Not an outrageous ask of a 12 year old.

Excited101 · 31/10/2018 23:39

So her choices are, hand washing, rewear or socks. Sounds fair to me! No way does she need so many pairs of tights.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 31/10/2018 23:53

She can't have it both ways.

Being funny about hygiene while at the same time not making sure she puts her clean clothes away or putting dirty washing in the basket doesn't are any sense!

Nothing will change until you teach her to wash/hand wash her own clothes.

Rebecca36 · 01/11/2018 00:11

She's 12, she can wash her own tights and underclothes every night after bath before going to bed. That's what girls used to do.

fuckitbuckit · 01/11/2018 00:33

My friend did this with her DS when he started high school. She told him his laundry was his own thing to sort out and after a few weeks he got lazy and didn't wash any of his uniform. Cue a huge sulk and a tantrum Sunday night because his uniform was a smelly crumpled mess and nobody would wash, dry and iron it for him. He attempted to take the day off school Monday morning so she locked him out of the house in his dressing gown with his crumpled smelly uniform and his school bag.

He washes his uniform every Friday as soon as he gets home from school now.

CoughLaughFart · 01/11/2018 00:39

She should dip the crotch in the washbasin and hang them over the radiator like everyone else.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 01/11/2018 00:46

Yes like others say, pass the DD the persil

No reason why she cannot handwash them and hang um to dry

MissLingoss · 01/11/2018 00:53

Why does she need to be told or shown or taught how to wash a pair of tights? It's hardly rocket science.

ThereGoesTheAlarm · 01/11/2018 00:54

I wouldn’t send her in socks. But I’m a pushover.

Last time I handwashed a pair of DD’s tights they ended up double the length Hmm

ThereGoesTheAlarm · 01/11/2018 00:55

He attempted to take the day off school Monday morning so she locked him out of the house in his dressing gown with his crumpled smelly uniform and his school bag

Gads. I really am a pushover.

Miscible · 01/11/2018 00:59

If your DH thinks you're being really harsh, how come it isn't harsh for him not to do it for her?

IDontWearMakeUpOnThursdays · 01/11/2018 01:06

I remember my mum showing me how to use the washing machine when I was 12, didn't do me any harm!

AutumnEvenings · 01/11/2018 01:20

My elderly mother washes her own support stockings each night by hand and hangs them up in the bathroom to dry. She has very poor mobility but would never expect anyone else to do this.

She was taught to wash her own stockings and underwear at a very early age by hand. No-one had washing machines back in her day, but by some miracle that generation still functioned.

AutumnEvenings · 01/11/2018 01:30

In the early 1970s we were made to wear knee length bottle green socks to senior school winter and summer. It was a privilege granted in the fourth year onwards to wear tights by choice, but I had to wash my own each day and hang them up to dry. We didn't have central heating so it was necessary to think ahead, if we didn't want to go back to the knee socks.

I realise this sounds so old fashioned, but am not quite sure how we have moved from the position that people actually suffered the indignity of washing their own smalls, to expecting a full-time working Mum to do it for them instead.

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