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Original poster

To make DD go to school in socks tomorrow (she says she will freeze and be miserable)

251 replies

jackieChansBedPan · 31/10/2018 22:57

She’s not 5 years old-she’s 12
She and her siblings have a few chores they have to do- you’d think I force her up chimneys the way she moans.

Anyway

She has 5 school shirts, 7 pairs of tights etc

Almost every other night or actually in the morning she will come in moaning about where are my tights/PE shorts/school shirts

She’s been known to shove clean ironed stuff in her dirty clothes hamper to avoid putting it away-

Yet again she’s come bolting down the stairs at almost 11pm asking where her tights are and can I put a wash on with ONE pair of tights ????

I’ve refused and told her she can wear socks and she’s raging.

Her dad has said I’m being too hard on her- I asked him to wash her tights by hand (he’s gone strangely silent and appears to be nowhere near a sink and a bottle of Persil)

I’m not being reasonable am I?

If she’s cold it might be the bolt up her bum she needs to look after her stuff

I’m hormonal

Thank you.

OP posts:
fontofnoknowledge · 04/11/2018 21:50

All my children have had responsibility for their own laundry since starting secondary school. Unsurprisingly not once, have we ever had the 'where is my ..... ' conversation.

At 11 yrs old every one, both Male and female can open a door, put tabs in a machine and turn a dial to the appropriate , clearly marked setting. They have all also been capable of carrying clothes to a utility room. On top of that, they have advanced even further by asking other family members if they want to add similar coloured clothes to a small wash. It really doesn't require rocket science.

10 yrs later they are a dab hand at university. Whilst some rather more nurtured flat mates are struggling and taking mountains of washing home. Not because of laundry cost but due to ignorance.

Their parents have done them no favours.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 04/11/2018 23:03

I live in Liverpool and see them every day to counter your ‘lol’. I have friends with senior school girls. I didn’t just pluck it out of thin air ConfusedHmm

Maybe the child could have checked her uniform before 11? Or is she too young for that too.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 04/11/2018 23:08

Well if you live in Liverpool....clearly you must know better than me what my niece wears for school 😂

PhilomenaButterfly · 04/11/2018 23:14

Bumsex maybe an hour at a push if she gets up at 7. How much sleep do you think a 12yo needs?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 04/11/2018 23:47

Are you pissed? Confused

Don’t know or care what your niece wears to school, I’m just reporting back on my daily observations. Lol.

But by all means if it makes you feel better - I’m sure your niece might freeze to death in October if she wore long socks and a skirt to school. Lol.

Miscible · 05/11/2018 08:01

Bumsex, where do you get the idea that this child's bedtime was 11 p.m.? I read it that she simply hadn't fallen asleep and had suddenly realised the situation with the tights. If she had any sense she'd have sorted out her clothes for the following day before going to bed.

And why assume she was cold? If she was in the South, last Thursday the weather was really quite warm. When I was at school back in the Dark Ages, we were only allowed to wear socks up to the equivalent of Year 10, but we survived.

Biancadelriosback · 05/11/2018 08:27

Another thread gone wild. Where does it say that the child's bedtime was 11pm? Also, I'm assuming the child's lessons are held indoors? Y'know, with central heating? Also, I've got bare legs right now. Wandering through town on my way to work. Don't worry though, I'll report back so you know I've survived.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 05/11/2018 08:57

‘Liverpool school girls’ don’t wear tights implies all of them not just a few you’ve apparently seen. I know a lot that do.
As for how much sleep a 12yr old needs from what I e read suggestions vary from between 9hrs 15 and 11hrs. It will obviously depend on the individual child but I think it’s safe to say that one still up washing clothes at 11 is going to be, at best, struggling to concentrate in class and at worst actually falling asleep.

RiverTam · 05/11/2018 09:01

half the secondary aged girls I see going to school when I'm on my morning commute are in ankle socks at the mo.

OP, I think you're doing the right thing and I agree about clueless housemates at uni.

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/11/2018 09:10

Nothing to add except yes Liverpool esp inner suburbs trend is school pinafore with knee or ankle socks tights probably seen as deeply unfashionable

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/11/2018 09:10

Secondary by the way. 15 year olds in pinafores.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 05/11/2018 09:25

Whether it’s ‘fashionable’ or not is irrelevant since the child wanted to wear them.
And I’m assuming when people talk about the inner city areas of Liverpool we are ignoring the large Muslims population who all wear tights or trousers. Liverpool girls always wearing socks simply isn’t true. A lot, from all backgrounds, wear trousers in this weather.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 05/11/2018 10:21

Now you’re just being pedantic. I didn’t say ‘all’.

Anyway, you think it’s cruel and borderline neglectful to tell a 12 year old she can’t put one pair of tights in the washing machine and make her either wash them herself in the sink, wear them dirty, or wear socks - in October. Where very few places are so cold you’re likely to be hugely uncomfortable. I disagree.

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/11/2018 12:45

I'd basically be very worried about a 12 Yr old who can't figure out how to wash some tights. Not normal developmentally.

RiverTam · 05/11/2018 12:56

oh, don't be daft. Grown adults don't know how to do washing, they're not developmentally abnormal, they either have never been taught or can't be arsed.

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/11/2018 12:58

Who the fuck needs teaching how to rinse some tights in a sink with a bit of washing powder or at a push a squirt of fairy. OK now we turn the tap on, now we sprinkle some persil... Sorry no. It should be something an average 12 year old can figure out. Unless they never have to, because mummy does everything and wipes their arse for them too

RiverTam · 05/11/2018 13:01

you said it was developmentally abnormal. That's a bloody stupid thing to say about a child not knowing how to wash some tights. Like I said, I was at uni with a fair number of people who didn't know how to do some basic (to me, because I'd been taught them) household tasks. I'm pretty sure, as they'd made it into a top 10 RG uni, that they weren't developmentally abnormal. In fact, the more I type that phrase the more offensive I think that statement is.

PhilomenaButterfly · 05/11/2018 13:02

DD, frustratingly, would have to ask me how to do it. Her head's full of biology and maths, she's not really interested in the real world.

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/11/2018 13:12

The actual phrase developmentally abnormal wasn't used was it. Congrats on getting a Russell group reference in there though, gold star for you. What I inferred was a developmentally normal ie. neurptypical 12 year old DOES have the capacity to wash some tights in a sink. If the physically could not figure out how to do it and could not complete the task despite trying that would not be normal would it. Don't try and argue that it would despite how many useless folk you went to uni with. I had a lad in my halls who refused to clean the toilet because he didn't know how. I asked him could he really not figure out how to scrape his shit off the sides of it. He admitted that well he might just use a bit of tissue but it was 'gross' and he wondered if there was some special way his mum did it that he didn't know about that wasn't so gross. The mind boggles honestly.

Also great that your dd is so clever but you're probably secretly quite proud of the fact that her head is just sooo full of maths that she can't carry out a simple task and therefore enable her.

eddiemairswife · 05/11/2018 13:36

Anyone who can wash their own hands should be capable of working out how to wash a pair of tights.

PhilomenaButterfly · 05/11/2018 13:42

The DD with the head full of maths would be mine, she spends a lot of her time on what we call [DD name] planet. Her dad's exactly the same, except his head's full of zoology and mythology. His refusal to do anything in the real world, like pay rent and bills, is why he's an ex.

PhilomenaButterfly · 05/11/2018 13:44

eddie I suspect that DD might need written instructions for that too...

RiverTam · 05/11/2018 14:02

no, true and I apologise for misrepresenting that. However, I still think it's a bloody daft thing to say, I haven't mentioned my DD at all so not sure what you're on about there and well done for displaying your anti-intellectualism for all to see. FWIW I grew up in a house where chores were expected to be done and I did get to uni (happy to get another mention if it in) perfectly capable of doing everything. Could I do it at 12? No. Would my mum have washed my tights late in the evening? No. Did she wipe my arse for me? No.

But then. happily I don't live in the MN world where children are expected to be able to run the entire household by the time they reach double figures.

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/11/2018 14:34

I was referring to philomenas dd in my post. I don't even know if you have kids never mind a dd.

I don't think a world where kids are expected to not be hapless individuals is unique to mumsnet, but growing up in the 90s in the North in a fairly working class family even my brothers were ironing their school shirts at 12.

I went to a Russell group uni also (not that it matters whether I have one gcse or a PHD everyone's opinion matters equally in this world) and am in middle of my 2nd masters course so how I'm anti intellectual I don't know... Heard it all now 😂

PhilomenaButterfly · 06/11/2018 10:19

Jeanclaude yes of course I'm pleased that DD's clever, but I'm also fed up with having to be her Alexa and remind her of everything. This morning she had to get up early for her reading booster, ergo so did I. I had to leave her backpack and her swimming kit out so she didn't forget them. I had to remind her to leave. I'd love her to remember real life things, not just the next Fibonacci number after 89.