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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find this an odd thing to state on a menu?

230 replies

DoItForTheDucks · 31/10/2018 10:16

I went to restaurant with a friend the other day. We were looking at the menu and two of the pasta dishes had the subheading 'The Ladies' choice(Creamy chicken and mushroom pasta) and The Gentleman's choice(Pasta in spicy tomato sauce with strips of steak and sliced chillis)

I found this so incredibly weird and also rather offensive. I was tempted to order the gent's pasta just to see if the staff would keel over in horror(I know that they didn't write the menu.)

The only other time I've encountered in person the whole concept of food intended for women and for men was at a wedding when one guest decided that the man next to her was being emasculated because he ordered the lemon cheesecake and not the chocolate fudge cake(which his wife ordered) and tried to convince them to swap as she was sure that being a man he really wanted chocolate cake and was being deprived. It was bizarre.

Has anyone else encountered this?

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 31/10/2018 10:19

No

But did you choose the ladies choice?? Maybe they have a point!!

Grin
IStandWithPosie · 31/10/2018 10:21

Oh I’d have had to ask them to explain it.

Jaxtellerswife · 31/10/2018 10:25

Unless it's eaten through the vagina or has to have a penis dipped in it (socially unacceptable usually) then I can't think of a reason why the names! Although I've previously ordered a mixed grill and my partner some pasta and they always assume his is th meaty plate

AwdBovril · 31/10/2018 10:28

I've occasionally seen "Man Versus Meat" type of things on menus, i.e. very large meals consisting of a large starter, main & dessert, with a lot of meat, large portion of chips & garlic bread or similar, maybe a pint of milkshake or similar to drink, & something large, rich & sticky for the dessert. Sometimes with a "Hall Of Fame" thing on the wall & names or photos of those who've managed to finish it all.

I've never seen anything of the type that the OP describes though.

Original poster
DoItForTheDucks · 31/10/2018 10:38

I didn't go with the Ladies' choice. I'd sooner have choked, even if that's exactly what I had been craving(It wasn't). I had seafood pasta which unfortunately wasn't labelled so I spent some time in quiet torment, wondering what terrible fate might befall me if I'd accidentally ordered a dish intended for a man. Thankfully I'm still here and I haven't sprouted a penis, so it appears that I chose wisely.

I wish that I had asked them WTF that was about.

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 31/10/2018 10:39

Where did you eat, a 1980s themed golf club restaurant?

Original poster
DoItForTheDucks · 31/10/2018 10:41

It was a pretty modern gastropub/steakhouse kind of place which made it even weirder.

OP posts:
whatnametouse · 31/10/2018 10:41

I have seen gentlemen’s cut / ladies cut in steak restaurants- generally small portion for ladies.

Original poster
DoItForTheDucks · 31/10/2018 10:42

I now have Rathergood's Man Quiche song stuck in my head.

OP posts:
Original poster
DoItForTheDucks · 31/10/2018 10:43

That's just as infuriating whatnametouse.

OP posts:
thedevilinablackdress · 31/10/2018 10:46

You appear to have gone to dinner in 1982.

It's almost funny. But I might have to ask the restaurant if they were kidding.

ToftheB · 31/10/2018 10:48

I saw ‘one for the ladies’/‘a real mans drink’ on a cocktail menu the other week. I can’t imagine who thinks that’s a good idea.

Gwenhwyfar · 31/10/2018 10:49

There's a gentlemen's afternoon tea around now. I can see why restaurants do it actually to attract men.
We've had gendered drinks for generations and still have them to some extent.
Sugar in tea is another one. It's getting less and less popular now and it's very rare for women to ask for it.

pabloescobar · 31/10/2018 10:49

My partner is a vegetarian, I'm not.
Whenever we choose our dishes he is always handed the meaty dish and I'm handed the vegetarian dish - always.

Gwenhwyfar · 31/10/2018 10:50

"I can’t imagine who thinks that’s a good idea."

Well, if men aren't drinking cocktails because they think they're for women and this makes them drink them, the bar is onto a winner aren't they?
I suppose it's like shampoo in a black bottle with the word 'men' on it.

onalongsabbatical · 31/10/2018 10:52

Of course it's bloody weird. Can't you tell us who so we can bombard them with helpful feedback and drag them into the twenty-first century? I really think they need to know what arses they're being! Grin

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 31/10/2018 10:55

I was stood behind a man at the bar in at pub last week who was arguing that his wife couldn't drink out of that glass because it was a "man's glass" and she would need "a lady's glass" The woman serving him did splutter why? but he went a shade of puce and repeated something about lady's glasses again. Who knows. I did say I didn't care what my gin came in Grin Perhaps that was a mistake. Perhaps by drinking from a Man's glass and eating the Man's choice I could start growing my own penis. Perhaps it's just years of drinking from lady glasses and eating creamy pasta rather than my female reproductive system that defines my actual sex.

DaysOfCurlySpencer · 31/10/2018 10:57

Unless it's eaten through the vagina or has to have a penis dipped in it

Quietly musing about the effects of a penis dipped in hot chilli pasta....

sueelleker · 31/10/2018 11:04

I ordered a T bone steak once (carnivore, me) and they tried to give it to my husband.

BarbaraofSevillle · 31/10/2018 11:05

Was it a 'Ladies menu' with no prices on either OP?

There's a gentlemen's afternoon tea around now. I can see why restaurants do it actually to attract men

But men are allowed to have normal afternoon tea (or cocktails) Confused.

Whether or not there appears to be a distinct differences between the sexes in food choices (chicken vs steak, afternoon tea vs Gentlemen's tea, whatever that is, or cocktails vs pints of ale) there really is no need to label these things with sexist names. Let people choose what they want to eat or drink without stereotypes trying to guide them towards a particular choice.

TheDarkPassenger · 31/10/2018 11:15

Unless it's eaten through the vagina or has to have a penis dipped in it

That made me bork a bit in my mouth. Extra cheese anyone?

SilentIsla · 31/10/2018 11:16

Oh fgs

MarklahMarklah · 31/10/2018 11:17

I'd have asked them if they knew it was 2018. But then I'm a moany old bag who can't stand this sort of normalised everyday sexism

MrsVietor · 31/10/2018 11:20

If we go out and DH is driving, he always gets handed the pint I ordered. Grin

crackerslikejacobs · 31/10/2018 11:20

Super annoying. My DH can't stand spicy food and I love it. Same as my parents and DS and BIL.

Where has this idea come from that women can't eat spicy food? 😩

It's a shame as the dish sounds nice lol.