AIBU to find this an odd thing to state on a menu?

[DoItForTheDucks]

I went to restaurant with a friend the other day. We were looking at the menu and two of the pasta dishes had the subheading 'The Ladies' choice(Creamy chicken and mushroom pasta) and The Gentleman's choice(Pasta in spicy tomato sauce with strips of steak and sliced chillis)

I found this so incredibly weird and also rather offensive. I was tempted to order the gent's pasta just to see if the staff would keel over in horror(I know that they didn't write the menu.)

The only other time I've encountered in person the whole concept of food intended for women and for men was at a wedding when one guest decided that the man next to her was being emasculated because he ordered the lemon cheesecake and not the chocolate fudge cake(which his wife ordered) and tried to convince them to swap as she was sure that being a man he really wanted chocolate cake and was being deprived. It was bizarre.

Has anyone else encountered this?

I had this in a restaurant in Chester. The waiter said for the gentleman we have a delicious steak pie and chips, and for the ladies how about a light chicken salad or the sea bass?

I have never felt more outraged. However then ordered fish and my husband and father had steak. FFS.

I must be very lucky because I cant actually remember a time when the waiting staff havent asked before putting down the food

Even when they ask though, it often catches them by surprise when the man asks for the salad and the woman the steak etc. Although they've asked they've already positioned themselves to serve it the 'obvious' way.

You people seem to want to discard every last shred of the difference between men and women

I want to get rid of gender stereotypes.

I'm being taken out for lunch today, I'll probably have steak and red wine.

I went to a pub recently and one of the meals was a "Brexit Burger"

Presumably it takes itself out of the bun and throws itself on the floor.

Dh doesn't like very spicy food, I do. Whenever we go for a curry he orders something mild, yet they put the mild dish in front of me every time.

DH would also be more likely to have steak than I, but there again women tend to worry about health/food more than men. We are advised to cut right down on red meat, but DH doesn't care too much for health reporting.

I went to a pub recently and one of the meals was a "Brexit Burger" priced at £11 (or €25)

Shouldn't it have been more like £25 or €11? (I think) As in, post Brexit, there's more chance that £25 will be equivalent to €11 than £11 being worth €25.

My dm.was telling me last week that menus used to have men type food and dishes for the ladies.I am a chef so we do discuss what would be preferred by men or women but let's face it people have different appetites.so writing it on a menu is just odd!!

Does it really matter that women are being discriminated against and both sexes stereotyped? Yes it bloody does. A great deal! Sexism matters. All that BS about what is and isn't ladylike has been defined by men and forced upon women for many centuries. It is BS and nothing more. There is no justification for it and it is actively harmful and oppressive.

I am not going to sprout a penis because I eat steak and my Father's isn't going to drop off because he doesn't like steak and likes cheesecake. I am a woman no matter what I wear, eat, work as, eat or do. I'm no less of one because I might do something that society stereotypically associates with men.

Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? You people seem to want to discard every last shred of the difference between men and women. I LIKE being treated as a lady, not some pseudo-man

Yes, it does matter. The very idea that women can't (shouldn't?) eat or drink particular things because of their sex is preposterous. Who are "you people"? Is that a thinly veiled attempt at slating pesky feminazis? Also, I am not sure what being "treated as a lady" means in this context.

Bloody weird. Reminds me of the recent concept of more ladylike crisps that made less of an unfeminine sounding crunch 🙄.
You could have ordered the ladies choice and asked for a chilli pepper in it because you are gender neutral.

Of course it matters in the large scale of things, as micro aggressions have a tendency of growing into macro aggressions.

One moment we are not offered steak and the next we only get to eat when the man's stomach is completely full, as is the case in some countries in Africa. We do not hae equal rights yet, and at the moment there is a big back lash against the rights we have gained. We are not only fighting male misgynists. We are also fighting the internalised misogynism in many women. So we need to address the internalised misogynism, so those who express it find out that it is not ok.

There is a place local to us that does a lovely afternoon tea, they also now do a Gentleman's afternoon tea that comprises pork pie and savoury items and a beer instead of tea/fizz. I'd much rather a scotch egg to a scone, why not call is a savoury afternoon tea?? Very weird.

Also our local Spar has a 'Womans Interest' section in the magazines, where you can find craft and slimming magazines - I was very WFT when I first saw that!

Clutching at straws, but was it an Italian place? The Italians I've been to have pretty much without exception done the 'pour a sample of wine for the man and get his approval' thing.

Years ago, DP and I would meet for lunch at a particular cafe every month or so. I'd order a pint of lager, he'd order a half, or a fizzy water. A couple of years this went on, and you can imagine which way round the drinks always came. We startled the waitress once by spontaneously bursting into applause when she got it right...

[wanders off piste] I don't like sweet things. So a savoury tea sounds wonderful. I would have smoked salmon sandwiches and cucumber sandwiches, anchovy toast, buttered shrimps on toast, fresh crab vol au vents with lemon cream. I would of course expect to change sex afterwards.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Men_Don%27t_Eat_Quiche

Real Men Don't Eat Quiche

If we ever have coffee after a meal and we're not driving, I might have a Brandy. DH likes Cointreau (sweet and orange tasting)

Without fail they put the manly Brandy in front of him and give me the Cointreau.

Oh good lord. Get a grip. Remember when yorkies where "not for girls" didn't mean you couldn't buy one. Worlds gone bonkers

You appear to have gone to dinner in 1982.

No, then it would have been chicken in a basket!

Another one here who is always handed DH's vegetarian option while they try and put my steak down in front of him.

It’s weird. Like other posters I usually go for the ‘manly’ option of steak when I’m out and DH goes for fish, he always gets handed the steak!

Yep, we were out at the weekend, I ordered a big juicy steak, because I fancied it and rarely eat red meat. DH had something fishy and salady - guess who was handed the steak? Interestingly they also handed me the large glass of wine instead of the small. I was driving, so had ordered the small. They must have assumed that he was the driver, because the little lady gets driven doesn't she? These were young women waiters by the way, probably students - so much internalised crap.

I waitressed a wedding a few years ago where there was one dessert for ladies and one for gents - we had to plonk it down and dash before people asked for the other option. We had to tell them to swap among themselves. I found it very strange. I would have been annoyed that us ladies were forced to have Eaton Mess when the guy's option of chocolate pud looked better! These days I don't think you get get away with assuming someone's sex.

I have encountered this many a time in restaurants in South Africa and Namibia, I can't believe it's started over here now, what a step backwards.

Ridiculous - no, yanbu. I remember one party my SIL bought "wraps for the ladies" and ("something tastier") for the men. My other SIL looked at each other, shrugged and took the "man food". Nom nom.