AIBU to find this an odd thing to state on a menu?

[DoItForTheDucks]

I went to restaurant with a friend the other day. We were looking at the menu and two of the pasta dishes had the subheading 'The Ladies' choice(Creamy chicken and mushroom pasta) and The Gentleman's choice(Pasta in spicy tomato sauce with strips of steak and sliced chillis)

I found this so incredibly weird and also rather offensive. I was tempted to order the gent's pasta just to see if the staff would keel over in horror(I know that they didn't write the menu.)

The only other time I've encountered in person the whole concept of food intended for women and for men was at a wedding when one guest decided that the man next to her was being emasculated because he ordered the lemon cheesecake and not the chocolate fudge cake(which his wife ordered) and tried to convince them to swap as she was sure that being a man he really wanted chocolate cake and was being deprived. It was bizarre.

Has anyone else encountered this?

I couldn't care less as long as I have the option of having either item. The wedding stories would bother me (ie being forced to have a certain thing or a smaller portion) but I'd just be amused by ordering 'the man choice' in a restaurant.

We occasionally have situations where the waiter assumes a drink or meal is mine when it's DHs but it doesn't affect my life in any way 😂

In France they have sandwiches called a croque monsieur and a croque madame.

I wouldn't worry about it personally

I waitressed for many years throughout college and university in 1 particularly popular restaurant (although popular with all ages, it had a very large clientele from the over 60s).

IME from working there, the majority of the time men did tend to order beer (or be responsible for ordering the wine for the table) and steak and women did tend to order wine and fish.

In fact it wasn't unusual for women to refuse to order anything from me directly and there husband would do the ordering. Even if I was stood right there they would ask their husband to order rather than speaking directly to me!

Just me that wasn’t outraged when I read it because I assumed it was a dish picked by the lady and gentleman involved in the restaurant, rather than for a lady or gentleman?

It’s not being ‘professionally offended’ or ‘overthinking’ to be annoyed by this crap. Loads of examples here of that low level sexism. It’s not a one-off, it’s a constant drip that creates an environment where sexism flourishes, because it’s fed by this kind of thing. Same with all the gendering of clothes for babies etc.

Mild for women and hot for men? It’s so outdated and boring. Oh, I ate a chilli. I require a fainting couch.

Who owned the place? Bernhard Manning...

That is ridiculous....

Does it REALLY matter that much? Everyone is so easily offended by everything these days! No need to be so precious 👸

@LakieLady

I've been trying to think when that started to change. It was certainly not considered at all odd for a woman to drink a pint by the time I moved away from London in 1991.

I think it depends a bit on context. I can believe that women were able to order pints in Soho without raised eyebrows in London in 1991. I certainly drank them at University in the 90s. However in the City in 2018 if I am out with work acquaintances and all the men are drinking pints I still often get a double take or sarky comment if I order one.

Jogon

Yes. HTH.

Someone said that it was good food serving practice to announce each dish at the table before serving.

Not really- I remember watching a programme about a Michelin star type restaurant and the staff were told that they had to note/remember exactly what each person ordered and serve it to them without asking for reconfirmation. Pretty sure their iPad type order noting systems are set up to tag each dish with a position at the table.

I am.wondering where you all eat where the waiting staff just put your food in front of whoever they think it belongs to....
We have always been asked who's having the steak etc???
Drinks yes there is an assumption that pints are male ..pink cocktails female..it's just one of those nthings...not worth bothering about

Years ago male students teachers at the infant i worked at were given bigger servings of the the school dinner. The server/kitchen manager even said it's because they are growing men. The rest of the female teaching staff stopped ordering the dinners. We were charged the same amount so we should get the same portion size. It did make the students feel awkward not sure it was because the staff complained or whether they agreed with her.

Infant school

I was in Morrison's cafe yesterday and they've changed their menu and tried to go all posh . Spoilt slightly by naming two breakfast choices as Big Daddy Breakfast (containing 19 items to ensure Daddy stays Big) and Builder's Breakfast which presumably includes a shit load of similar ingredients. I nearly took a photo I was that incredulous . Unfortunately there were no feminine options, you know like Typist Tea or Housewife Salad

Unfortunately there were no feminine options, you know like Typist Tea or Housewife Salad

i think there are bigger things in life to worry about....

I wouldn't even notice.

Neither would I, if I had my head in a paper bag while the menus were on the table.

Are you sure, OP, you didn't go out for dinner in the 1970s by mistake?

I'm not offended by it. More...bewildered. What's the point?

I saw a poster with the Big Daddy Breakfast on in morrisons last week.

I'm definitely going to try one. I like their breakfasts

Big Daddy breakfast is named after a person though, isn't it? Rather than being for fat fathers only. I don't think a dish name after a man means it's not for women, after all men are free to eat pavlova and peach melba without comment. (Does anyone at all eat peach melba anymore? I haven't seen it around since I was a child.)

My DH gets a dab on eating a packet of S&V! I think he would prefer the lemon cheesecake too!

JaceLancs. Unbelievable! What disgusting people to make such food assumptions just based on people's sex! I would have been so shocked! Still am....

Many ladies love a nice dollop of Gentleman's Relish in the morning.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentleman%27s_Relish

DoItForTheDucks. I'm so terribly sorry to read your Wednesday post which inexplicably I've only just seen.

I really am seriously sorry to hear of the traumas you have experienced. I thought my own life was crazy because of the bizarrely high number of ghastly things I've had happen close to me. I do hope you are able to make sure you have good experiences, you know, give yourself well-deserved treats. The effects of trauma - I know only too well- are debilitating.

You are right too - it isn't relevant to say "there are bigger things to worry about". This is a sexist issue. It has insidious effects on people. Most of all, it underlines that females are the inferior sex, males are the leaders, the ones who get the lion's share, the females get poor seconds. It has a very strong message which makes a powerful impact, all the more serious and dangerous because it is mildly subliminal.

Sending you lots of love. you are clearly a very strong, level-headed lady and I do hope your life becomes very much happier in the future.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar

You said:
"Big Daddy breakfast is named after a person though isn't it?"
My reply:
Yes.
So it doesn't count here.

Well observed.