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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

All people are created equal—that is, unless they’re fat

156 replies

phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:10

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/real-healing/201308/i-see-fat-people

Research reveals that weight discrimination is hurled at people from all directions:

More than half of doctors described their overweight patients as ugly, awkward and non-compliant with treatment.

Nearly one-quarter of nurses admitted to feeling repulsed by their obese patients.

Nearly 30 percent of teachers said that becoming obese was "the worst thing that can happen to someone."

Defendants in lawsuits who are overweight are more likely to get slapped with a guilty verdict.

More than 70 percent of obese people reported being ridiculed about their weight by a family member.

Fifty-two percent of obese individuals believe they’ve been discriminated against when seeking employment or a promotion.

Children as young as 4 are reluctant to make friends with an overweight child.

I've been obese after being a very slim child. Now I'm normal BMI. It's a struggle though. I don't know what the answer to all this is. I feel sorry for the kids though. They are growing up in an environment where it is much easier to put on weight than lose it. Then have to put up with this. Mixed messages. Wasn't the same problem when I was a kid.

OP posts:
PolkaDoting · 30/10/2018 17:13

I wonder if it’s the case across all cultures?

DanielRicciardosSmile · 30/10/2018 17:14

30% of teachers clearly live charmed lives if the absolute worst thing they could imagine happening to someone is becoming fat... Hmm

Elementtree · 30/10/2018 17:17

I mean, there are other points about your post, like the misleading title which suggests only fat people are discriminated against but I can't get past this...

*Nearly 30 percent of teachers said that becoming obese was "the worst thing that can happen to someone."

Grin Really? I can only assume that 30% of these teachers have never watched the news.

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:19

Yeah, I got the title from Psychology Today Hmm It does seem a bit off though!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/10/2018 17:21

The title is confusing really because no-one is created fat

I wonder how the question was posed to the teachers?

Surely something like getting terminal cancer would be their answer, unless they misunderstood?

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2018 17:21

Nearly 30 percent of teachers said that becoming obese was "the worst thing that can happen to someone."

I find that hard to fathom, especially when you consider what teachers have to put up with. Confused

SinisterClownWatchingYou · 30/10/2018 17:22

Don't worry OP. Soon the fat shaming cunts of mumsnet will be here to tell us it's all our own fault, with a bit of 'eat less move more' to finish.

MrsReacher1 · 30/10/2018 17:25

What is your AIBU?

Rednaxela · 30/10/2018 17:26

More than half of doctors described their overweight patients as ugly, awkward and non-compliant with treatment.

This research conducted in 2003 in America.

The blog post is from 2013 and again America.

America has a different demographic in this respect, so I think YAB a little bit U. Post an equivalent article showing recent research conducted in the UK?

spanishwife · 30/10/2018 17:26

I watched a very interesting mini documentary on Netflix about this. Think it was part of a series called "ask a doctor".

The opening line was "if in a class of 20, 1 student was failing, you'd blame the student. If half were failing, you'd blame the teacher, so why are we putting the blame of being an unhealthy size on the individual and not society that makes it this way"

It is a hard slog for most to not be overweight. It's so easy (and cheaper) to eat convenience food and to not excersize, but we have to make it a priority for our own health.

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:26

It's terribly sad for the kids and young people.

I've been slim as a kid and young woman. NEVER felt this way about people bigger than myself. I had friends and rellies of all sizes. Then I became obese myself (various factors involved). Went through a bad time of being bullied in several jobs and being shoved past in street, etc. Not stuff I was used to. Just thought people getting ruder and stuff. Also, I was terribly depressed at the time because of certain life events. Which also contributed to the weight gain. So I thought maybe my depression was attracting nastiness, you know?

Now I am "normal" again according to doctor's charts. I work from home (left last job due to bullying to work from home and have lost quite a bit of weight over the last 4 years). Harder to check people's reactions to me now as I don't work outside any more. When I go places though, I do feel people more willing to engage with me. Though I'm shy anyway, so...

I read stuff like this and think so maybe THAT'S how people felt about me all along and it influenced my encounters with them? Sad

I hate to think kids are growing up and going into that world, maybe never known any different. It will damage their self-esteem and make it harder than ever to lose the weight - according to the studies.

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 30/10/2018 17:27

30% of teachers clearly live charmed lives if the absolute worst thing they could imagine happening to someone is becoming fat...

Fat and ginger?

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:27

America has a different demographic in this respect, so I think YAB a little bit U

True, but then I thought overweight was more normalised there as they had the obesity epidemic before we did?

OP posts:
Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:29

What is your AIBU?

I guess it's

"Am I being unreasonable to read this research and conclude that if you are overweight, you don't stand a chance with most people and can't even expect professionals to treat you fairly?"

OP posts:
Aprilsinparis · 30/10/2018 17:32

Unfortunately Fat discrimination does exist. I have always been a 6/8 clothing size, until recently I had an illness and the medication, made me pile on the pounds. I have been treated with disdain, or totally ignored, whereas before, I would be complimented on my figure, clothes and looks.

I am desperately trying to lose weight, and have succeeded in losing about 2.5 stone, and noticed already, people treating me in a more friendly welcoming manner.

I don't care what people say, being slim does give you a massive advantage, in a lot of people's eyes.

VladmirsPoutine · 30/10/2018 17:34

I don't have any comment on the article per se, but it's not news that obese people face discrimination because of their size in most areas; careers, healthcare, relationships and so forth..

PickAChew · 30/10/2018 17:40

What did that 30% of teachers actually get asked? If they had to choose between, say, getting fat, breaking a fingernail and spilling milk, then the survey and the results as presented are flawed, in many ways.

And why were doctors using words like ugly to describe a fat patient? Were they given limited options to choose from, because that's hardly a word you would use to describe someone obese in a medical professional capacity?

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:45

I have been treated with disdain, or totally ignored, whereas before, I would be complimented on my figure, clothes and looks

Yep, for sure.

It's an eyeopener when you've been both slim AND big. You really see it then. I think for young ones who maybe have always been big, they may go through life being treated badly and internalising that maybe in a way we didn't?

OP posts:
Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:46

Particularly shocked at the HCP and teacher comments though. I must be a naive Pollyanna, but I thought those were the "liking humanity" professions Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:54

The thing is, what is easier? Changing people's attitudes towards the overweight or trying to change the environment that we have set up which makes it all to easy to put on weight?

Now I am trying to hold onto my hard-won weight loss, I realise I'll never have a day when I won't be thinking about it. I am having a diet meal for dinner, and have been ignoring hunger pangs all afternoon. I am looking forward to Xmas, but already feeling a bit panicky about how to avoid the food pushers.

What a way to live!

OP posts:
ThePants999 · 30/10/2018 17:56

Two can play at that game: I think that becoming a teacher is the worst thing that can happen to someone Wink

maddening · 30/10/2018 17:57

Yanbu op, and the default thought is - it is all your fault and that effort taken in loosing weight is equal for all people. It really isn't.

acivilcontract · 30/10/2018 18:10

It may be impacted by what is meant by overweight. I have recently finished a road trip in the US and there are very different norms in weight between the UK and parts of the US.
I thought it was well known that there was a lot of weight discrimination though?

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 18:17

I am ashamed to say that while I never had any mean thoughts about other when I was slimmer, I really had no idea how bad it was for them. Slim privilege, I guess? Maybe they didn't realise the full extent either, because it was their norm in terms of how they found people?

OP posts:
spanishwife · 30/10/2018 18:21

The thing is, what is easier? Changing people's attitudes towards the overweight or trying to change the environment that we have set up which makes it all to easy to put on weight?

The two aren't mutually exclusive. It's a very complex issue, driven by food marketing (especially aimed at kids), bodies in the media and the way our lives are changing in general. There's a clear shift towards less movement (more office style jobs, availability and attitude of transport and housing) and shift towards needing to find food to eat quickly and cheaply.

The solution is a mix of a change in marketing though legislation and regulation, price of goods (e.g. sugar tax) and a cultural shift (e.g. body positive moment/seeing more 'normal' bodies in the media).
Then there's the personal accountability. We all know the 'eat less move more' mantra but it's clearly not that simple for many and food and lack of excersize is tied up in all sorts of mental health, poverty, education issues.