Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

All people are created equal—that is, unless they’re fat

156 replies

phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:10

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/real-healing/201308/i-see-fat-people

Research reveals that weight discrimination is hurled at people from all directions:

More than half of doctors described their overweight patients as ugly, awkward and non-compliant with treatment.

Nearly one-quarter of nurses admitted to feeling repulsed by their obese patients.

Nearly 30 percent of teachers said that becoming obese was "the worst thing that can happen to someone."

Defendants in lawsuits who are overweight are more likely to get slapped with a guilty verdict.

More than 70 percent of obese people reported being ridiculed about their weight by a family member.

Fifty-two percent of obese individuals believe they’ve been discriminated against when seeking employment or a promotion.

Children as young as 4 are reluctant to make friends with an overweight child.

I've been obese after being a very slim child. Now I'm normal BMI. It's a struggle though. I don't know what the answer to all this is. I feel sorry for the kids though. They are growing up in an environment where it is much easier to put on weight than lose it. Then have to put up with this. Mixed messages. Wasn't the same problem when I was a kid.

OP posts:
SilentIsla · 31/10/2018 15:09

Another piece of information worth taking on board.

GoatWithACoat · 31/10/2018 15:29

I hear you OP. The thing I dread most about pregnancy is the 2-3 months of being overweight afterwards. Not just for the way it makes me feel physically but because of the very obvious difference between the way I am treated between being overweight and when I get to being very slim.

It’s shocking and sad and I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to live my whole life being treated like a second class citizen because of my size.

florenceheadache · 31/10/2018 16:08

I’m overweight and have tipped into the obese category as per BMI.
Im sure it depends on the size, there’s heavy (obviously overweight, dipping into the obese category) and morbidly so 300lb plus with difficulty breathing and walking.
At 5’3 and 170 lbs on a good day I’ve never experienced discrimination, refused a job, or even heard whispers or comments about my weight. I love good food, I’m in the camp that eats just a bit more than necessary and annually need to loose the same 10 I put on each winter.

Graphista · 31/10/2018 21:20

"employment is at an all time high. Are you trying hard enough?" Ahhh you're a Tory! Explains a lot! Off topic but it actually really ISN'T at an all time high the figures are fiddled. There's also far more people TRYING to find work and therefore applying for those jobs than the tories will admit (they only include in those figures those on JSA or UC equivalent. Not those not claiming any out of work benefits nor those claiming income support or ESA or equivalents)

Also there are HUGE regional differences and people CAN'T always afford to "get on their bikes" and just move to where there are more jobs (but higher living costs!), then there is (understandably it's an employers market) the prejudice against anyone who's not worked for several years and PARTICULARLY If the reason for not working is ill health - it's why all colours of govts have had to provide incentives to employers to get them to even CONSIDER long term sick returners to work. Incentives which under the current govt have largely been removed.

As someone with a family full of addicts, yes I am sympathetic to addiction - to a degree.

There's an ELEMENT of choice with obesity and addiction and particularly imo with illegal drug addiction - at some point BEFORE they were addicted those addicted to illegal drugs CHOSE to take an illegal known to be highly addictive substance. But it's far more complex than JUST choice and even the choice is to a degree subconscious.

With addiction to alcohol again huge cultural issues with this which are just STARTING to be addressed by govts. Advertising is still problematic here, even with quite strict rules.

Smoking - govts worldwide are starting to make real headway not only with getting those already addicted to quit but in preventing new addicts being created - interesting that many people agree that strict advertising rules have really helped here yet REFUSE to see the same could be true for food & soft drinks.

PanGalactic - considering there's a HUGE number of common medications and a wide variety of DIFFERENT medical conditions that can make it easy to gain and hard to lose weight AND if you add to that from reading a lot on mn and elsewhere generally, talking to hcps and in particular on another thread I have running that it VERY much looks like hypothyroidism is massively underdx and treated in this country I think it's entirely possible a majority of those people DO have medical reasons that CONTRIBUTE to their being overweight.

Add in cultural issues including pretty much unrestricted advertising of the least healthy foods and it's the perfect storm really!

"Eating more has got to be the real reason." Reducing it to that won't solve the problem. We need to understand WHY people are eating more than previous generations.

Anyone who watches food/social history programmes or reads on these subject areas will know ONE factor is that relative to income certain types of food (the supposedly "junk" food) are cheaper than they've ever been. To take an example given upthread - if you've a family who are BARELY getting by and you've the choice of spending MORE on initial outlay to make a chicken stew from scratch AND spending more on fuel to cook that food OR for half the price frozen chicken nuggets and chips that take 1/3 of the time to cook therefore less fuel consumption too you're going to choose the latter.

Add in to that scenario knackered parents who are working 2 jobs each just to get by and they're not going to have the energy/motivation to peel and chop veggies, chop meat etc after a long working day with hungry kids baying at your feet.

There's also the factor of its not actually eating more in terms of volume but in terms of cals. A good few times at ww our leader referred to several studies that showed that pretty much everyone eats the same VOLUME of food daily but the TYPE of food means the calorific content varies. This is where you get people who "don't eat much" but are still overweight. I've also seen this theory illustrated by dietitians on various programmes like "eat well for less".

200g of chips is far more calorific than 200g of carrots. But the chips are actually less filling as they take up less volume.

That's why schemes like ww DON'T just say cut down how much you're eating but instead recommend less calorific foods to eat instead (and motivate/educate members by making these foods "free" or lower on their points system) to fill the gap left by having less of the calorific foods.

People who've never been to ww, sw etc may also not be aware that these programmes are very aware that many of their members ARE dealing with

Being on meds that slow metabolism/inc appetite (the meds that do this tend to be guilty of BOTH!)

Having medical conditions that do the same.

Have reduced mobility due to disability/illness

Have mh conditions that make the sufferer lack motivation to prep, cook...even go eat at all! Certainly I know that part of the reason I don't eat as well as I could/should is because I lack the mental energy/motivation to cook (even though it is/was something enjoy) and also because I get very anxious regarding things being "off" (partly fuelled by the fact I have a stomach that reacts really badly to the slightest upset, but also part of my OCD).

I was really nervous when I first went thinking (wrongly) I'd have little in common with other members (mainly due to the mh issues) only to find I may as well have gone to mh group session! In terms of who was there! Mh meds in particular are buggers for screwing with appetite/metabolism.

"You only have to eat a little too much each day over a long time for it to creep up gradually and most women don't need 2000kcal a day if they are short/more sedentary etc." Yes I think this is something a LOT of slimmer people forget - overweight people didn't BECOME overweight overnight! But then also overweight people forget this and we get frustrated when it doesn't come OFF overnight either. It also tends not to be linear. Anyone who's monitored their weight over a long period of time for whatever reason will know they don't gain/lose regularly every week. Hormones can be part of that too - so many female ww members learned to accept if they weren't yet post-menopause there'd be at least one week a month they'd be grateful if they just didn't gain! But the following week you'd likely get a significant loss - even without doing anything different.

RaceCarDriver - those are unfounded prejudices though. As I said upthread I've met plenty of slim but unfit, lazy people. Size doesn't automatically indicate ones personality or even level of fitness. I've 2 friends who are overweight but not obese who regularly take part in marathons, triathlons and endurance swimming competitions and do very well at them! Several of our slim friends would struggle to run for a bus! And they're off work sick more often than these friends too. One in particular seems to get every winter bug going and they hit her really hard.

Leannakate · 01/11/2018 05:04

I don't understand why it's bad that these doctors/nurses/teachers had private thoughts and opinions. Presumably they didn't vocalise them (except anonymously for research) and didn't act on them. To be honest, I've looked at obese people and felt slightly shameful thoughts that I'm not proud of - I'd never say these things or act on them but isn't it human nature to get a first impression upon seeing someone, or to have thoughts about other humans? Are we really going to start judging and critisising people for their thoughts and personal opinions which aren't acted on? Also I think "slim privelege" is a ridiculous term. I was very overweight as a child due to bad parenting and diet choices by my mother before I was old enough to know better. I worked very hard as a young woman to get down to a healthy size and shape. Must I acknowledge this as a 'privelege'? It all seems bizarre to me.

tiredgirly · 01/11/2018 05:51

I gave been slim fat and slim again ( thyroid). I can categorically say that when I was morbidly obese I never received one negative comment on the matter and it never affected me getting on in my career. I think maybe this myth stems from fat people are more likely to have low self esteem

useruseruseruseruseruseruser · 01/11/2018 09:04

I was very overweight as a child due to bad parenting and diet choices by my mother before I was old enough to know better

Isn't that the terribly sad part, though? That some children will be poorly treated and judged for something that is not yet within their control?

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 01/11/2018 09:09

Graphista

You just view the world through the lens of victimhood don't you, someone or something is always to blame, it cant possibly be an individuals crap lifestyle choices, no, they have been coerced, brainwashed, led astray or are suffering from some nebulas not quite defined medical condition.

I have been lurking on these forums for a few years and I don't think I have read a bigger pile of drivel that what you have produced above. The fact that you seriously believe that the majority of of the afore mentioned (nearly) 30 million overweight people in the UK have a health condition that led them to their predicament is just lunacy.

PS I think you have a sticky caps lock key

SilentIsla · 01/11/2018 10:48

There is a class and even perhaps an intelligence element to obesity or being very overweight. Earlier, I was looking through some photographs of students at my old university. They look fit and healthy and slim.

xmascrazee · 01/11/2018 10:51

A lot of doctors are pretty damn fat these days.

SilentIsla · 01/11/2018 10:51

It is one of the oldest universities in the UK - and yes, I do think that has a bearing. (People should not be afraid to be honest on this forum.)

SilentIsla · 01/11/2018 10:52

Nurses are also pretty overweight.

SilentIsla · 01/11/2018 10:53

I agree with those on the thread who believe there is a tendency amongst some to blame everyone and everything but themselves.

xmascrazee · 01/11/2018 10:53

Stephen Fry got very big at one time too.

xmascrazee · 01/11/2018 10:55

Historically, of course, the fat were the richer ruling classes who had all the rich and over-abundant food.

xmascrazee · 01/11/2018 10:57

The number of threads I've seen where people want to lose weight for university reunions though!

BumDisease · 01/11/2018 10:58

So fat people are stupid now? Cool.

InertPotato · 01/11/2018 10:59

A lot of people, in the absence of disposable mental or physical issues, eat too much even knowing it's harming them. There are reasons why they're unable to weight the importance of continued physical health heavily enough to decline when considering a cream bun or another glass of wine. Reasons, not excuses. The reasons need to be acknowledged - rather than the people just being deemed generally unsavoury or stupid - if the obesity epidemic is to be tackled effectively.

But 'acknowledged' by whom, and to what end?

People's food choices are generally governed by themselves, certainly adults. The government seems to have taken some steps, e.g. changes in advertising law and so forth (perhaps others know more than me), but I doubt many overweight people could be induced easily into a seismic shift in their eating habits by external forces.

xmascrazee · 01/11/2018 11:09

Food deserts in America

socialwork.tulane.edu/blog/food-deserts-in-america

xmascrazee · 01/11/2018 11:33

So fat people are stupid now? Cool

Yeah, unfortunately proving the OP was indeed onto something.

alligatorsmile · 01/11/2018 12:32

So what if people who are overweight got there because they just really like wine and chocolates? It doesn't matter WHY someone is overweight. The point is that if you are overweight, you are still a human being. Having a penchant for pizza and crisps doesn't make you worth less than someone who's slim but cruel, vindictive, uncharitable, mean-spirited, violent or abusive.

InertPotato · 01/11/2018 12:39

Of course it doesn't, alligator. Not sure why anyone would be gratuitously mean in any case, most people are going about their business and not paying a lot of attention to what's going on around them.

But,

So what if people who are overweight got there because they just really like wine and chocolates?

This might be interesting from a pubic health perspective.

Graphista · 01/11/2018 12:42

Leanna - because even if people CLAIM not to act on their prejudices the reality is they DO. Numerous studies on sexism, disablism and racism as applied to job applicants, defendants etc bear this out. It DOES matter.

PanGalactic I was actually very clear that I believe that choice IS a part of the problem but it's not the whole story.

"The fact that you seriously believe that the majority of of the afore mentioned (nearly) 30 million overweight people in the UK have a health condition that led them to their predicament is just lunacy."

But that was precisely my point - that there's numerous health conditions, medications and disabilities that are KNOWN to contribute to weight issues. That's not "drivel" at all that's fact based. Eg as I said there's a huge problem with under dx & treating of hypothyroidism in the uk.

That you've basically not provided any evidence otherwise but instead written a thinly veiled personal attack with petty digs shows you can't argue otherwise.

In fact it shows the very prejudice the op was initially highlighting.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 01/11/2018 14:35

Graphista, you made the assertion that it was likely that the majority of those 30 million overweight people had a health condition that contributed to their size to which you provided zero evidence to back this up. The onus is on you to provide evidence to back up your claim, not for me to disprove it. And lets be honest it is a pretty big claim which is why it was met with cynical disbelief by me.

noeffingidea · 01/11/2018 15:12

Nurses are also pretty overweight now
I don't meet many nurses now so don't know how true this is, but I only ever met 2 visibly overweight nurses when I was in nursing myself.
The weight actually fell off me, with missing meal breaks and doing a very physical job (and smoking I must admit).