The reason this topic is so difficult and emotive is that all of us, from the super morbidly obese with eating disorders, to the 'eat less move more is all it takes' fat discriminators, have absorbed a lifetime of societal attitudes, propaganda and cultural references that tell us that thin = good and fat = bad.
A small number of people seem to be able to shrug free from that and genuinely appreciate that physical size is irrelevant to beauty, worth, intelligence and personality.
I think most people are fully aware that weight and food are hugely complex issues and are tied in emotions and psychological issues rather than just being physical choices. We know that weight issues could happen to any of us, we know it's not something someone should be blamed for and we know how hard it is to fix once it's a problem.
But I think the vast majority of us still find ourselves trapped into believing the rhetoric to a greater or lesser degree.
Lots of people - 'I'd hate to be fat, I'm so glad I'm not fat. I love my friends and family who are fat and it's totally rude or wrong to say anything negative to fat people. There's loads of reasons why people get fat but I'd never let it happen to me. I'm not going to show it but I do think that I must be doing something right and they're doing something wrong.'
Lots of people - 'I hate being fat. It's really affecting how I think about myself. I'm sure I'd be so much prettier and happier if I was thinner. More people would like me. I don't think bad things about other people who are fat. They'd be the same people whatever they weighed. But I'm different. I'd definitely be a better person if I was thinner.'
Some people - 'Fat people are weak willed and a bit stupid, really. How hard is it to just eat less. They don't have any willpower which probably means they're just weaker people in general. I think less of someone who's fat.'
Some people - 'It is the most important thing in the world for me to be thin. I put all my self worth into my size. If I am not thin I look so ugly. I can't stand the feel of my body when it's bigger. I can't cope with looking at myself. I don't really think about other people much but I know that not being thin is not an option for me.'
Some people - 'If I am the thinnest in a social group I feel better about myself.'
Some people - 'If I am the biggest in a social group I feel ashamed and think less of myself.'
Although all those viewpoints are damaging, shallow, unpleasant or whatever, I don't know to what extent we can be blamed for holding them. The link between weight and worth is so ingrained in our culture that it's very hard to shake free from. We are exposed to it from being tiny.
I can remember playing a doll's game with a friend when we were around 6. We decided that when we grew up we were going to look like barbies because nobody likes fat people. I don't know where I got that attitude - I had a morbidly obese, confident and popular mother. But I believed it to be true.
A few years later my sister and I had 'children' (dolls) and posted lists of rules on their 'bedroom walls' (cupboards). First rule on my list: 'don't get fat.'
A few years after that I was anorexic and being fat has been one of my biggest fears ever since. I cannot even begin to articulate why a few inches of flesh here and there can be the difference between ok or not, happy or not, worthwhile or not. But it's a mindset I've been trapped in forever. And I think it's very difficult not to transfer it to other people, even though I know logically I'm the ridiculous, stupid one. I look at very overweight individuals and my first thought is, 'I'd hate to look like that.' I watch people going past me and I notice their weight - never their face or their clothes or their mood - just their weight. It disgusts me that I can put so much emphasis on something so unimportant but I do. I desperately hope I never show it. But I don't know for sure.