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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

All people are created equal—that is, unless they’re fat

156 replies

phlirty · 30/10/2018 17:10

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/real-healing/201308/i-see-fat-people

Research reveals that weight discrimination is hurled at people from all directions:

More than half of doctors described their overweight patients as ugly, awkward and non-compliant with treatment.

Nearly one-quarter of nurses admitted to feeling repulsed by their obese patients.

Nearly 30 percent of teachers said that becoming obese was "the worst thing that can happen to someone."

Defendants in lawsuits who are overweight are more likely to get slapped with a guilty verdict.

More than 70 percent of obese people reported being ridiculed about their weight by a family member.

Fifty-two percent of obese individuals believe they’ve been discriminated against when seeking employment or a promotion.

Children as young as 4 are reluctant to make friends with an overweight child.

I've been obese after being a very slim child. Now I'm normal BMI. It's a struggle though. I don't know what the answer to all this is. I feel sorry for the kids though. They are growing up in an environment where it is much easier to put on weight than lose it. Then have to put up with this. Mixed messages. Wasn't the same problem when I was a kid.

OP posts:
cryhardandswim · 30/10/2018 18:22

I am very obese, and have been accused of causing and even faking my mobility issues cause I am fat. I actually have a Functional Neurological Disorder caused by some psychiatric meds I was on years ago. My weight does not help the symptoms- I admit that. But I refuse to take 100 per cent blame for it either.

Bluntness100 · 30/10/2018 18:22

I think this would be skewed by what people perceive obese to be. For many it may be the thirty stone person and not what obese actually starts at.

However yes, it's awful findings.

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 18:25

My obesity kicked off with illness requiring steroids/depression/martial problems/severe isolation. In other words, it can potentially happen to anyone or at least it can become harder for someone to stay slim than it was before.

OP posts:
SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 30/10/2018 18:27

More than half of doctors described their overweight patients as ugly, awkward and non-compliant with treatment

As a PP says, were the doctors given a list of words to choose from or did they all use the word "ugly" of their own free will? What is meant by "non-compliant"? If they have been advised to lose weight/take up exercise in order to help a condition yet haven't done so, wouldn't this be classed as non-compliance?

Nearly one-quarter of nurses admitted to feeling repulsed by their obese patients

Again, were these nurses given a list of words to choose from? In any case, obesity can cause some pretty unpleasant conditions and also prevent people from being able to take care of themselves properly. I imagine any nurse would be (silently) repulsed by the sight and smell of the unwiped arse of someone with no SN or continence issues.

Nearly 30 percent of teachers said that becoming obese was "the worst thing that can happen to someone."

In the playground, yes. Children can be cruel at times and the article does go on to say how "children as young as 4 are reluctant to make friends with an overweight child". I imagine overweight teachers might be a target for the pupils too.

So don't take it to heart. Of course discrimination exists. But don't start thinking every medic you meet thinks the worst of you, these "statistics" really don't seem very scientific.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/10/2018 18:29

It’s because being overweight is a choice really.

Being black, or female, or any other sort of protected characteristic isn’t.

But being overweight is. You never get people on these threads saying they lift heavy weights, do lots of cardio, eat well and are still overweight.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 30/10/2018 18:31

What I find odd about this is that lots of teachers, doctors and nurses are themselves fat. Doctors and nurses especially. Don't they have any empathy?

spanishwife · 30/10/2018 18:35

@ShirleyPhallus

Not but you do get people who say their parents were fat and they don't know anything else - you see people begging for help on diet threads because they really just have no idea what is healthy and what isn't. It's hardly as though that information is readily pushed out in the media! And it's all very confusing when you can get hold of it. Just see the other thread trending at the moment on whether fruit is a good lunch.

You also hear from single parents saying I have £2 and 15 minutes to make dinner for my kids - you think they will realistically make a healthy chicken and vegetable stew, or bang some pizza in the oven? Yes they have a choice - but you need to understand that society makes it very difficult to pick the former

pyramidbutterflyfish · 30/10/2018 18:37

Not sure I agree with about discrimination, at least as a universal rule. In my profession, commercial law, there are loads of fat & successful lawyers, both sexes.

kaitlinktm · 30/10/2018 18:38

Two can play at that game: I think that becoming a teacher is the worst thing that can happen to someone

Oh no - I am an obese teacher - boy am I slug of the universe! Sad

Bonkerz · 30/10/2018 18:42

I'm morbidly obese. I don't feel discriminated against. I've got every job I've interviewed for. Never been out of work except when chose to be stay at home mum.
I don't feel judged etc. Maybe it's more that I don't care what is thought about me. I'm confident and active.

squeakybird · 30/10/2018 18:42

I think people simply don’t realise that it could happen to anyone, including them. Sometimes you can exercise every day and know the caloric content of everything by heart yet still develop a binge eating disorder or have to go on medication which makes you fat.

squeakybird · 30/10/2018 18:48

@ShirleyPhallus what an uninsightful thing to say.

I cycle everywhere, I go to weightlifting classes when I can, and I always get 7 portions of fruit and veg every day, plenty of protein etc.

I didn’t decide to have binge eating disorder. Aside from making you fat, it’s a horrendous amount of suffering to inflict upon oneself. Nor did I choose to have horrible medical issues which needed to be alleviated with hormonal birth control, which makes losing weight much harder.

SharpLily · 30/10/2018 18:53

I have swung between size 8 and size 18 more than once. Nothing to do with diets, I've never been on one, but hormonal issues have played a part. I know I get treated completely differently by the world at large when I'm a size 18. My intelligence is estimated at a completely different level, as if brain cells and fat cells are interchangeable - I either have one or the other but can't have both.

chocolatecoveredraisons · 30/10/2018 18:58

I've been both. My weight spiralled after my first child was born. I had to change my attitude to food and exercise. It was hard in the beginning.

Ultimately, being overweight is a choice. I wouldn't judge a person but I would feel it's a lifestyle choice (bar the medical reasons) just as being a smoker is a lifestyle choice.

Lollypopdoll · 30/10/2018 18:58

I wonder how long it takes for triptrapoverthebridge to appear on this thread.

Aprilsinparis · 30/10/2018 19:05

I totally agree OP, I feel the same, I didn't realise just how bad it was to be overweight until I was in that group of people. Now, I am more or less back to my slim self, I swear I am going to be more sympathetic. Knowing how you are treated when you are considered overweight, is not nice.........not nice at all.

Moreisnnogedag · 30/10/2018 19:11

Honestly I wouldn’t put much stock in an article which gives absolutely no indication of where or how these stats have come from and certainly not from an American site. Considering the prejudice in conviction rates against blacks and Hispanics I’m personally a little dubious about the conviction stats in those who are obese.

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 30/10/2018 19:19

I think that whilst the study (or studies) maybe flawed fat discrimination does exist. I work in healthcare and it definitely exists there, I hear a lot of it. In my experience those figures aren't wildly out (ignoring the teacher one)

If you think everywhere is 'fat joke's', growing up as teenager fat=ugly/disgusting pedalled a lot, it's all over the internet. On MN there is even a certain level of disdain towards posters who admit to being over weight (not all posters but a sizeable percentage). Drs, teachers, nurses aren't magical people who are immune to societies hatred of fat people. I've met some Drs and teachers who are right arseholes. There are judgmental dickheads of Drs and there are lovely Drs.

I'm not overweight and never have been but I see it everywhere, to me it makes no difference if someone is overweight or not. That is between them and at most their Dr, it has no bearing on my life whether it's hormonal, medication related or not. I think the psychology behind disliking fat people is really interesting, someone being fat has no impact on me yet we all like to weigh in on it. I always wonder why some people dislike fat people so much. It's just a way to make people feel better about themselves u guess.

InertPotato · 30/10/2018 19:29

What's your AIBU, OP?

Are the people who manage to stay slim/skinny/fit/whatever just outliers? I don't understand the point.

Original poster
phlirty · 30/10/2018 19:30

What is your AIBU?

I guess it's

"Am I being unreasonable to read this research and conclude that if you are overweight, you don't stand a chance with most people and can't even expect professionals to treat you fairly?"

OP posts:
Ollivander84 · 30/10/2018 19:31

don - nice 
I'm fat and ginger. And a model

Cherries101 · 30/10/2018 19:32

It’s fact that most people can’t distinguish between normal, overweight, and obese people. That’s why people get fatter. So when these people are talking about obese discrimination they are really talking about the morbidly obese.

BumDisease · 30/10/2018 19:34

Lol at the incredulous "but what were they actually ASKED??" posts. How many "fat" threads do we have here? Look at the "fatshaming" thread for a start. And the "horrible realisations about yourself" thread; how many people there admit to hating/ judging fat people?

InertPotato · 30/10/2018 19:37

Am I being unreasonable to read this research and conclude that if you are overweight, you don't stand a chance with most people and can't even expect professionals to treat you fairly?"

Professionals are bound by a code of conduct so it's reasonable to expect them to behave ethically, but I'd imagine most people are put off by obesity.