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Original poster

Period- what your DP do this?

552 replies

Leder · 28/10/2018 22:21

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

OP posts:
Shriekingbanshee · 31/10/2018 20:30

Silly o/clock it isn't, and treat is in context.
If you completely ignore context and that half 10 is extreme to call 'silly o'clock', and believe that all periods are the same, then i see your point, but I don't...and I don't.
Thanks for that comment, naice

Sallystyle · 31/10/2018 20:30

My husband just went out to get me Pepsi Max because I only have one left and I am snuggled on the sofa with a blanket with a dog.

It isn't exactly late but I appreciate his kindness. If I was demanding shit he wouldn't do it.

I really do not see what is wrong about asking your partner to go get a treat for you when you are feeling miserable. I'm not feeling miserable now but DH still went for me.

Demanding and asking regularly is taking the piss but the OP isn't doing that.

Kindness is so underrated.

nightmares · 31/10/2018 20:36

unprompted and unexpectedly

What good is that to me, really, when he is going to refuse to help me when I really need him to?

Give a soul some water when she is thirsty, not when she doesn't need it!

MaisyPops · 31/10/2018 20:43

She isn't asking for water for being thirsty. That's the point night. Confused
She doesn't need the right type of water. She wants a certain type of water at 10pm.

If I needed sanpro then DH would get them for me. If DH needed woke me up needing painkillers at 1am I would go and get him some from the night pharmacy. If I was throwing my guts up and the only thing that settles my stomach is boiled coke then he'd go to 24 hour Tesco and get me litres of the stuff.

Want and need are different things.

The woe is me I need to have the right branded drink so you should get me it at 10pm and I'll be a bit moody if you don't because I want a treat isn't about a need at all.

BrokenWing · 31/10/2018 20:51

Sometimes dh would, other times he wouldnt. If he didn't I would accept for whatever reason he didn't want to go and I definitely would not be on the verge of tears for the sake of a can of fizz or make him feel bad for not going.

Dotty1970 · 31/10/2018 21:15

Since when was water a treat lemon or no lemon! 🤔
Chips, chocolate, cake and cheese scones are a treat....

TheDowagerCuntess · 31/10/2018 21:17

The woe is me I need to have the right branded drink so you should get me it at 10pm and I'll be a bit moody if you don't because I want a treat isn't about a need at all.

Exactly.

I honestly think we're all in agreement that care and kindness is the cornerstone of any loving relationship.

We just have quite different ideas about how that plays out in our own relationships.

Do those supporting the OP thinks those of us who say, 'my DH probably would do it, but I thinking asking would put him out too much' are really being unreasonable?

And is the standard we should be holding partners to - willingness to go out for something after dark, when asked? Or is it something significantly more substantial/meaningful than that?

Shriekingbanshee · 31/10/2018 23:16

I think the argument is around the context,period. Ha!

EngiNerd · 01/11/2018 19:57

Yes, he would but probably just to get away from me.

Iminagony · 01/11/2018 20:27

No way mine would. He wouldn't even entertain requests like that when I was pregnant!
He will pick up something when going near somewhere if I ask but not nipping out from home on a whim. Especially not if it's that close. Even in pain I'd go a 3min drive myself if it would make me feel better.

It sounds to me like it's the act of him going to get it for you that would like rather than the actual item in this case OP.

Icanttakemuchmore · 02/11/2018 17:17

I've been vomiting for days and been in hosp, now home and feeling better. I fancied a caramsl frappe from McDonald's and at 10pm at night hubby went straight into town (a 20 ish minute round trip) and got me one.

LongWalkShortPlank · 02/11/2018 17:22

I think my boyfriend would. He often goes out of his way to make sure my daughter and I have what we need, but I also don't ask, expect or demand it and I think thats why he does it.

1forAll74 · 03/11/2018 03:04

It is not something I would do,, but I don't have a husband or a partner,so have to do all things myself.. If you have any tonic water in the house,this is nice to drink when feeling a bit rough. adding some lemon juice if you have some lemons.

Shriek · 03/11/2018 16:10

On a whim Hmm is clearly not what OP said.

Conseulabananahammock · 03/11/2018 18:43

Period vs endo/adenomyosis
Not even remotely comparable are they. The pain from mine is so severe it's worse than labour pains. I have morphine, tramadol, coedine basically every pain relief at home.
So for those calling op a princess you have no idea.
Hope your feeling better soon.
Also to answer the question my dp would go out for me and get if i asked. Hes been out at 1am to asda for cream cakes when i was pregnant. I would also do the same for him .

LovelyIssues · 04/11/2018 15:35

Absolutely not, he'd laugh at me! If I really wanted it I'd go myself though

AlphaJuno · 04/11/2018 21:09

My dp is just off to the shop because I stupidly forgot the butter for ds's cookery practical tomorrow. We have a baby so difficult for me to get out right now. But just asked him if he would do this, he said 'yeah of course' but looked at me a bit weirdly, only because I don't get bad periods and that's not the sort of thing I normally ask for. Usually beers in my case 😂. But if that's what you want, I don't see it as a problem. I do all sorts for my dp. It's what you do isn't it.

ToPlanZ · 04/11/2018 21:18

Yes he absolutely would and I'd do the same for him if he was sick. At any time of night. Kind of what marriage is? Caring for the other person, in sickness and in health, even if it is just fizzy water. Hope you're feeling better OP.

hungryhippo90 · 04/11/2018 22:51

DH just got back from getting tea bags :-)

corythatwas · 04/11/2018 23:09

Blimey, lemon-flavoured water seems to bring out the worst in people.

When my DM had her migraines, sparkling water was the only thing that helped with the pain and nausea. I am trying to imagine a scenario where my DF stood by her bedside and argued that he couldn't possibly go and get her that because it was a silly request and it would be a totally different thing if she asked for something sensible. Or told her to woman up.

I have never suffered from endo, but from what I hear it is no more pleasant than a migraine. Though possibly not quite so unpleasant as all the posters who sneer at the OP and tell her she is a drama queen and should go herself.

Branleuse · 04/11/2018 23:15

Lol, i wouldnt ask someone to go out at night to buy me a lemonade, how bizarre.
I mean i guess my dp might if id been poorly , but id hate to be expected to be asked to go out at night unless it was something like milk or bread or painkilers. I think id tell you that id get you one next time i was at the shop.

TurkeyBear · 04/11/2018 23:16

Take some Ibuprofen Lyseine and go to bed OP.

TheDowagerCuntess · 05/11/2018 00:56

cory - the OP doesn't want sparkling lemon water for its medicinal properties, like your mother. She wants it as a 'treat'.

cavycavy · 05/11/2018 01:00

Mine definitely wouldn’t! It would even occur to me to ask him, he simply wouldn’t entertain the idea!

corythatwas · 05/11/2018 10:35

She presumably wanted it because it would make her feel better- if not physically, then psychologically- when she was having a rotten time. If a member of my family was in that kind of pain and there was something that could take their mind off it, I would go and get that thing, particularly if all it involved was a measly 15 minute walk.

And am slightly puzzled by Branleuse's explanation that it would be reasonable to go out and get milk but not lemonade. Does milk have medicinal properties? If it's just about "needs" rather than "want" doesn't that cover milk too?

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