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Original poster

Period- what your DP do this?

552 replies

Leder · 28/10/2018 22:21

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

OP posts:
Shriekingbanshee · 30/10/2018 19:58
Ruby55n · 30/10/2018 20:00

Mine would have. Sadly, he is no longer with me as he passed away on New Year's Day of this year. Please don't sweat the small stuff. I know period pain is awful and it makes you feel emotionally rough, too, but it's not worth falling out with your other half over a bottle of pop - at least you still have your partner in your life, so please try and be thankful for what you have got. I hope it eases for you soon. I used to get awful pain with mine. xx

easterholidays · 30/10/2018 20:13

I pretty much agree with you @Shriekingbanshee but I guess it's horses for courses - in some relationships it would be an unremarkable request and so refusing would seem mean, in others neither party would think of asking. I do have sympathy over harsh periods - mine was so bad yesterday I had to skip my evening plans and come home hunched over on the tube, getting off every couple of stops because I thought I was going to faint, throw up, or both. Sometimes a period isn't "just" a period and like you , OP, I'd like to think my DP would do something kind for me when I was feeling that shitty.

But I also think he feels a bit bad which is why he bought you a 4-pack today.

easterholidays · 30/10/2018 20:14

**

A 2 pack!

easterholidays · 30/10/2018 20:16

And I know I sound really melodramatic with that description of my period. It isn't usually anything like that bad and I do normally neck some painkillers and power through, but just occasionally it fells me, and it did yesterday. You just can't say what is and isn't reasonable when someone's having a bad period, because it's so different from person to person (and from period to period).

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 30/10/2018 20:37

Yes, I might ask, and yes, he'd probably go. We enjoy doing favours for each other - it's an easy way to show some love.

Hope you feel better, @Leder - and no need to feel embarrassed about wanting some SP lemon, it's delicious 

InfiniteVariety · 30/10/2018 20:44

Why not use an actual lemon and make a nice hot drink instead? That's what I would do rather than send DH out - get inventive with whatever I had in the house

nannykatherine · 30/10/2018 21:06

women’s equality and all that
= fetch it yourself

Cambalamb · 30/10/2018 21:08

Imagine this thread in reverse.

Man-I'm om the sofa with a bad headache and I've asked my gf to go to the shop because I fancy a lemony drink and she won't!

Gabilan · 30/10/2018 21:30

He had a vasectomy a few days ago, very sore and swollen, and still hobbled off to the shop to buy me a pepperami 2 days after it because i fancied one and I was in pain.

Please tell me that it's not just me that thinks it's deeply inappropriate to send a man to buy a pepperami 2 days after a vasectomy. Is it not just adding insult to injury?

And in answer to the OP, I wouldn't ask anyone to do that. There are better ways to show you care about someone that bringing them fizzy lemon on demand.

Shriekingbanshee · 30/10/2018 21:57

hobbled to the shops for a pepperami
I am shook about this...I would stop him, I really would. That comes across really bad, how is this ok?

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 30/10/2018 22:24

I have PCOS and have excruciating period pains.
It sucks. I’m a single parent and have to do it myself.
He’s not your slave - if he said no...then no is the answer. Next time he asks you a favour remind him of his decision...then you choose whether or not to do it.

DieBabySharkDie · 30/10/2018 22:45

Absolutely. He’d go in the middle of the night if I really wanted something - maybe a bit grumpily, but he would do it and has done!

LoniceraJaponica · 30/10/2018 22:48

I'm surprised at the number of partners who would do this.

categed · 30/10/2018 22:54

I'm not sure actually. He would for pain killers but i would never ask for him to gwt 'treats' due to totm to bw honest. However he gets up at before 4am for work and shops would be a 1/2h trip.
My totm can be crippling at times but beyond saying why i am being sick/swearing whilst rolled in a ball i don't discuss it too much and deal with it myself. However my sil would happily send my db wherever and he would go. 😁

greeneyedlulu · 31/10/2018 00:01

Mine would but I wouldn't ask him to go just because I'm being sappy over period pains. If I was pregnant..... and everything is his fault.... then id demand it!

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/10/2018 00:12

I'm surprised at the number of partners who would do this.

Then perhaps your expectations of a partner should be higher.

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/10/2018 00:12

And what you are willing to do for a partner should be more generous.

gluteustothemaximus · 31/10/2018 00:49

Surprised at the number of women who think some women's periods are not an illness and if they are an illness, the gp will fix it.

I would collapse in pain. The vomitting, blood loss, migraine, labour type pain would have me screaming and sobbing. I tried every pill going. It even made me suicidal. I took the pill constantly to avoid periods.

My boss at the time said clearly I had a low pain threshold. Female.

How is it possible to not understand just because you get the odd twinge with your own period, that someone else cannot possibly have it worse than you?

Baffling.

Shriekingbanshee · 31/10/2018 03:02

Camba t'would be the same. Anyone who's feeling ill to the point t of tears could do with a fucking pick-me-up frankly, and clearly isn't in a good place for jumping up and running down the road in the cold and dark to get it. I've done it to emotionally cheer too, because a treat really helps, feeling like someone gives a shit, but clearly some don't?

Gabilan · 31/10/2018 06:32

Then perhaps your expectations of a partner should be higher

I'd expect a partner not to buy fizzy lemon water in a can. I'd expect them to know it's an environmental nightmare and that cutting out that sort of consumption is one very easy way of reducing the damage we're doing to the planet. We all want different things.

Enthymeme · 31/10/2018 07:20

I would be with @Giles. There has to be a back story here. Perhaps you have revealed it in your 22.31 post if this is something you do all the time.

sadkoala · 31/10/2018 07:52

You weren't being a brat op.
Especially since the shop is less than 5mins away.

It's not really putting anyone our unless he was in his PJ's tucked in bed and you demanded he get dressed and go.
It's just these little things that make a difference sometimes. We live quite rurally and a few times I've had my period/was under the weather/enter reason here and I passingly mentioned to DP "ooh I could have xyz right now" 9/10 times his reply has been "do you want me to go get it?" Whilst preparing to put his shoes on.
And for him getting anything from supermarket bits to a takeaway would be an hour round trip. He never batted an eyelid (I only ever took him up on it once or twice).
It's just a nice thing that he'd do for me to make me feel better and I would be happy to return that kindness when the shoe is on the other foot.

Hope you're feeling better today.

nearlythesummer · 31/10/2018 07:58

Mine would if I asked nicely!

sadkoala · 31/10/2018 08:00

And it astounds me at the number of people on here who do not take period pains seriously. I sometimes have a good one and it barely affects me apart from a constant ache for the first couple of days and a bit of general not feeling well.
Then a few times I've been feverish, vomiting, fighting back tears and unable to walk for the first day of it - and I do have a high pain threshold.
There's also a "medium" where for the duration of it the more I move the more it hurts.

It sucks and the people that think you should be backfliping into work doing a headstand and a split for good measure clearly have not suffered period pains or are robots.

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