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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to Dubai?

276 replies

BrieAndChilli · 28/10/2018 14:55

DH sister (much younger - in her 20s) is moving to Dubai - her friend moved over there, she’s visited a couple of times had a great time partying so has now got a job out there. All good. She’s leaving end of the month. We will all miss her but not DHs family are talking about going over there for a family holiday next year.
I’ve looked at flights and for the 5 of us it would be about £3k plus then accommodation as I doubt she would be able to put us all up plus spending money etc.
We have never spent that amount of money on a holiday but if she was in austrialia/Thailand/America I would scrimp and save as I know we would have a great time.
However from what I have read about Dubai it’s basically a giant shopping mall in the desert. Fine if all you want when you go on holiday is to sit around the pool all day and eat and drink all night but that’s not us nor the kids.
Would I be unreasonable to say thanks but no thanks I’d rather go on an expensive holiday elsewhere?

Not to drop feed but when we were in our 20s we went abroad for 3 years so MIL, SIL who was a young teenager, aunt and cousin all came out 2 years running for a holiday with us in the south of France.
However that was much much cheaper than Dubai!!

OP posts:
SirGawain · 28/10/2018 16:52

I would not go to Dubai if they paid me. I have a relative there who loves it, but the more she tells me about it the more it sounds like my idea of hell!

Bimgy85 · 28/10/2018 16:53

Who says you have to go?.. it's a holiday. Holidays are optional . Yanbu to go on your own family holiday at your location of choice

feesh · 28/10/2018 16:54

I live in the UAE and there has been a lot of utter shite spouted on this thread about Dubai as per usual (women have no rights??? Seriously?! It’s one of the best countries I’ve ever lived in for feeling safe and valued as a woman!).

However I totally understand why you don’t want to go - I don’t live in Dubai and I can’t stand the place.

You shouldn’t spend thousands on a holiday that you don’t really want to go on.

HOWEVER, if you do decide to come, there are nicer ways to do it - seek out some more off the beaten track places, such as Ras al Khaimah or Fujairah, Jebel al Akhdar, or Sir Bani Yas Island or Nurai Island (please google all of these - your SiL could easily drive to any of them to spend a short break with you and they are all amazing, with fantastic hotels). Or drive over the border to Khasab in Oman (check out the Atana Khasab Hotel, the location is stunning). You don’t have to do the usual Dubai thing.

There are also loads of glamping sites springing up now, such as Kingfisher Lodge in Sharjah.

You can have an amazing holiday here if you’re prepared to go off the beaten track. But if you just don’t fancy it, of course you are not being unreasonable to just say no thanks, I don’t want to go.

morningconstitutional2017 · 28/10/2018 16:58

I wouldn't go there if it were the last place on earth. I loathe shopping, sitting by a pool would bore me silly and then there's the human rights issues which I surely don't need to remind you about.
I hope your SIL enjoys it but it all seems so horrible. How it is possible to party when I assume alcohol is banned? The authorities used to turn a blind eye but can that be guaranteed? People (especially women) have got into trouble over this type of thing. Just no, no, no.

chrisinthesun · 28/10/2018 17:00

@feesh

Then you are more than welcome to live there if you have convinced yourself that it's so wonderful with NO prejudice against women, and they are treated EXACTLY the same as men! And if you have convinced yourself that their human rights record is just fine and dandy!

Hell would freeze over before I'd even waste my time and money VISITING that shithole, let alone live there.

LivingInATreehouse · 28/10/2018 17:02

Alcohol is available in the UAE.

People who end up in the UK press have usually done something else, like for example, videoing airport/immigration officials or swearing at them.

I'm pretty sure that would not get you too far at London Heathrow either!

Presh12345 · 28/10/2018 17:07

Yet another Dubai bashing story......I also live in UAE and fully agree with @feesh and @livinginatreehouse

Italiangreyhound · 28/10/2018 17:39

BrieAndChilli I definitely wouldn't be going there for s holiday.

Save your money to go somewhere you actually want to go.

brizzledrizzle "You'd be very unreasonable to say that you'd rather go somewhere else instead as that's really rather rude..." Best not to say anything just you can't afford it and maybe that it's not your cup of tea. Save your money and go where you want, when you want.

feesh · 28/10/2018 17:42

@chrisinthesun can you give me some examples please? I’m genuinely struggling to think of a single example of women’s rights being abused here. I am racking my brains and honestly can’t think of anything. What are your concerns specifically?

IcedPurple · 28/10/2018 17:49

They can come to the Middle East, work for 2/3 years, send all of their salaries home (food/accommodation comes with the job), and buy land or a home. They will also be supporting all of their extended families (aunts, uncles, cousins, parents etc etc) while away from home.

Somehow you forgot to mention that these workers have their passports taken from them and are in effect bonded labour - in other words, slaves. They have to work incredibly long days in the desert sun in very harsh conditions, and many of them don't even get paid their meagre wages and due to the fact that they have, as mentioned above, the status of bonded labour, they have no way of ever getting it.

The UAE government has worked very hard to ensure that the accommodation the men live in is of a good standard and there are regular inspections. the men are not allowed to work outside in the summer between 12 and 3pm, companies who breach this are fined heavily.

Oh please! You have bought the official PR spin hook, line and sinker too. That's if you're not actively promoting it.

JamesBlonde1 · 28/10/2018 17:54

I’ve never been, but only heard negative things. As PPs have said. M

In addition, know of men who have worked out there from the UK. All 3 said the blokes they worked with (all married or with girlfriends) regularly used the services of prostitutes. One said his apartment sharing mate would have nice family chats with his wife and children on skype, then go and hitch up with a regular prostitute. Gross!!

fieldgold · 28/10/2018 17:54

On another note, we are talking here about a twenty something party girl who is working too.

I am sure she is thrilled with the idea of her family doubling down on her for a holiday. Honestly, go somewhere else. Twentysomething party girl will thank you all for leaving her alone to enjoy her adventures. I doubt you will see much of her anyway.

If she was not in Dubai, would you ever have considered going there?

She can come home for a visit much easier than all of you trekking out there to what is a hot very hot and artificial city.

Anyway.....

XingMing · 28/10/2018 17:56

@freesh is absolutely right. You can say you don't fancy it, and decline, but approached without all the negative ideas, you might like it. Between October and Feb, the climate is lovely. there is a lot more art, history and culture than you'd expect. There are farmer's markets, and art installations on the beaches and in many malls, cycle trails, and recently there's a lot more engagement between younger Emiratis and visitors than you might expect. Many have been educated in Europe or the US, and are very comfortable with Europeans. Please don't believe all the sh*te you read in the UK press or here on MN. However, it's repressive to the extent that you will be judged (and stared at) if you display too much flesh. Politely covered from shoulder to knee, without cleavage, and no one will blink. Bare arms are fine.

XingMing · 28/10/2018 18:01

It is eye wateringly expensive these days. It wasn't the first few times I went.

IcedPurple · 28/10/2018 18:05

recently there's a lot more engagement between younger Emiratis and visitors than you might expect. Many have been educated in Europe or the US, and are very comfortable with Europeans.

Perhaps, but nationals only make up about 15% of the population, and rarely work in the service or hospitality industries, except at management level. As a visitor the vast majority of your interactions will be with expats, mostly Asian. You could spend weeks there without having a conversation with a local, all of which contributes to the soulless, artificial atmosphere.

feesh · 28/10/2018 18:07

@Jamesblonde1 it makes me laugh because when you’re away from the UK for a few years, and indeed if you’re a foreigner from many thousands of miles away, the UK looks absolutely awful too!
(I’ve not lived in the UK for almost a decade now, and to me looking from afar it seems like a hotbed of rape, awful drunken behaviour and abuse of women and child abuse). Obviously that’s just the impression you get from popular culture and the news, and in reality of course 99% of the time it’s not like that.

It’s the same with any country if you don’t visit it or live there. You get a weird impression of it which is nothing like reality.

That’s why travel is SO important, even to places you’re not very keen on. It gives you perspective, both of other countries and your home country.

(Still don’t think the OP should go to Dubai though, lol).

Nightjane297 · 28/10/2018 18:09

If it was your sister you would go. Think about that....

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 28/10/2018 18:10

£3k for flights. That's crazy. I wouldn't expect to pay more than £400 per person. I wouldn't go either. The place is tacky so unless your into strutting about the pool in heels (yes heels) or watching rich gross old fat Russian men drooling over their young beautiful partners and splashing the cash( so creepy) do not go.

Nightjane297 · 28/10/2018 18:13

Lol to @ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay... think you've been to the wrong bits babes. Never seen anything like what you're describing Wink

XingMing · 28/10/2018 18:14

As I think my previous posts have made clear @Iced, I have been there to stay with family (who lived there as expats and whose children were educated there and we now meet their Emirati friends doing regular jobs). But you are right when you say that the Emirate population is a tiny % of Dubai residents. You cannot become an Emirati by choice, there's no asylum, and they don't accept refugees. You go there to work, or on holiday; it's very cut and dried.

MulderitsmeX · 28/10/2018 18:16

Hmm i thought dubai was interesting but won't go again. Definitelt try to make it a flying visit to the far east which is AMAZING.

The infrastructure is incredible to see. The desert is also interesting and I enjoyed the spice market.

The aforementioned souk is just a shopping centre - i don't know if that's the same one?

The beaches are a bit boring but it's a good city short break. If it is a lot of money to you I wouldn't bother but let DH go alone.

XingMing · 28/10/2018 18:20

Out of interest, the expat element of my family talked about moving back to the UK when their DC were teenagers. It was the teens who said that they did not want to go to school in Cambridge, UK (drug abuse, violence and poor behaviour in school were the reasons they gave).

Italiangreyhound · 28/10/2018 18:21

Sorry that is meant to be if you do not wish to go.

feesh · 28/10/2018 18:25

Exactly @XingMing the UK looks pretty shitty and horrible for various sectors of society from a distance, as do its leaders.

iwantasofa · 28/10/2018 18:37

Don't go if you don't want to but if you're going to avoid traveling to anywhere with a poor human rights record you'll be pretty limited in where you can go and you can forget about the USA (Abu Ghraib) and Australia (Nauru) for a start. Funny how mumsnetters get all enraged about human rights abuses as long as it's a conveniently brown and Muslim country committing them.