To not want to go to Dubai?

[BrieAndChilli]

DH sister (much younger - in her 20s) is moving to Dubai - her friend moved over there, she’s visited a couple of times had a great time partying so has now got a job out there. All good. She’s leaving end of the month. We will all miss her but not DHs family are talking about going over there for a family holiday next year.
I’ve looked at flights and for the 5 of us it would be about £3k plus then accommodation as I doubt she would be able to put us all up plus spending money etc.
We have never spent that amount of money on a holiday but if she was in austrialia/Thailand/America I would scrimp and save as I know we would have a great time.
However from what I have read about Dubai it’s basically a giant shopping mall in the desert. Fine if all you want when you go on holiday is to sit around the pool all day and eat and drink all night but that’s not us nor the kids.
Would I be unreasonable to say thanks but no thanks I’d rather go on an expensive holiday elsewhere?

Not to drop feed but when we were in our 20s we went abroad for 3 years so MIL, SIL who was a young teenager, aunt and cousin all came out 2 years running for a holiday with us in the south of France.
However that was much much cheaper than Dubai!!

This thread is timely as a close family member has just been offered a big promotion to move to Dubai for 2 years.

Said family member is not keen, it's not somewhere he has ever chosen to go. He is single at the moment and he is gay. But he is considering it as he has worked so hard for this big step up.

He is going there for a long weekend to look around, see the types of accommodation available and think about what his life would actually be like for him there. Glossy on the exterior certainly given the package he has been offered but he is worried about being lonely and living in such a soulless place.

Being gay is illegal here (I'm in Dubai) but there are plenty of gay people living, working and socialising here. And there's a big underground gay scene. People are left to get on with their lives if they dont cause offence. I enjoy going out for dinner with a bottle of wine, but I wouldn't get falling down drunk in public. That's just common sense. My gay friends don't snog in public. Also common sense.

@MrsChollySawcutt I've lived in the region (not Dubai but a very similar city) and honestly it's so far from lonely. Because there is such a high turnover of people, friends are made very easily and people are extremely welcoming. People at your work, on your compound/tower, will all be quick to invite the newcomers out. And once you've met people it doesn't feel at all soulless. It's got a very community feel.

Thanks both that's very reassuring, both his mum and I have been worrying about how he would get on there, and and concerned if he would be at greater risk because of his sexuality. He is a quiet person and is good at keeping himself to himself.

My head says he should take the promotion he so deserves, stick it out for two years with literally all his expenses paid and then come home set up for life. My heart is not so sure.

Being gay is illegal here (I'm in Dubai) but there are plenty of gay people living, working and socialising here. And there's a big underground gay scene. People are left to get on with their lives if they dont cause offence. I enjoy going out for dinner with a bottle of wine, but I wouldn't get falling down drunk in public. That's just common sense. My gay friends don't snog in public. Also common sense.

Underground - as in having to hide it? "Gay friends don't snog in public."
Just.... I can't even. No way would I want to go there as a gay person (I'm not gay, btw, happily hetero and married ) - the threat of being imprisoned just for being myself would be too much.
Why should you have to hide who you really are? Must be a miserable way to live.
Illegal to be gay, women like 2nd class citizens. No thanks.
Everybody has different moral compasses and lines and draws them where they see fit.

People are left to get on with their lives if they dont cause offence. I enjoy going out for dinner with a bottle of wine, but I wouldn't get falling down drunk in public. That's just common sense. My gay friends don't snog in public. Also common sense.

There's a difference between not getting falling-down drunk in public (especially in the perennial grey area that is those big weekend brunches with unlimited alcohol, where people can get steaming drunk without risk assuming they are compos mentis enough to get a taxi home without playing tonsil-hockey in the back seat, or getting into an altercation with an Emirati) and being able to live as a gay person.

Quite apart from knowing that the expression of your sexual identity is punishable by ten years in jail the UAE penal code actually says sodomy can be punishable by death you do not even have to be found on the premises of one of the continually-moving bars/clubs which act as Dubai's semi-underground gay scene and which are regularly busted by police, or engaging in a PDA -- look up the case of a French teenager, Alexandre Robert, who was abducted and gang raped and was discouraged from pressing charges by being told he would face charges for 'homosexual activity'. And not told that one of his rapists had been tested as HIV positive.

www.nytimes.com/2007/11/01/world/middleeast/01dubai.html?_r=0

www.detainedindubai.org/homosexuality-in-the-uae

Ok so being gay is illegal but that's ok because.......

As soon as you start adding because you have abandoned you sense of right and wrong.

It is morally wrong to make someone's sexuality illegal. It just is. If you try to justify that using religion you need to take a long hard look at your moral compass.

Like Verbeena. I can't even...

Draw your line where you want, ignore the multitude of evidence from a range of agencies but I won't be joining you on the sun bed because there are some lines I won't cross especially not for a shopping mall.

@chrisinthesun

Then you are more than welcome to live there if you have convinced yourself that it's so wonderful with NO prejudice against women, and they are treated EXACTLY the same as men! And if you have convinced yourself that their human rights record is just fine and dandy!

There is no country in the world where there is no prejudice to women. And if you think women are treated exactly the same as men in the UK or any other countries, then you're a fool.

I'm no fan of Dubai but there are a lot of prejudiced people on this thread.

Dubai’s not perfect. It’s also not as awful as many of you seem to think it is. And we’re not all here for the sunbeds and brunches. When you work in oil and gas, you have to go where the work is. And at the moment, that’s the Middle East.

As I'd said (again repeatedly) on this thread, changes happen at different paces everywhere. There's a lot that can be changed, of course. But this is true for every country in the world.
The UAE has changed a lot of its earlier rules- and for the better - in the twenty years I've been here. Most of us here are happy to be a part of the change (it was the white collar residents of the country that largely canvassed the lot of the migrant workers). And for the distant commentators with moral compasses that can't even... well, it's great that you are concerned enough to comment, of course!

I really wouldn't bother. We went this year and had a fab time but barely left the hotel waterpark. It's a luxurious place but theres nothing special about it. That's an awful lot of money. We used wowcher for ours. I'd never go again though! Much cheaper for her to fly home for a week if shes desperate to see you all?

I really wouldn't bother. We went this year and had a fab time but barely left the hotel waterpark.

I wouldn’t be taking holiday advice regarding any country from anyone who barely left a water park to venture further afield.

I always feel surprised about the level of feeling against Dubai by people who haven’t been there. I have been there several times (and not for shopping - I hate shopping) and I also have English friends who live there. I’m sure people have negative experiences - but negative experiences happen all over the world. I have only had positive experiences. In fact I was expecting the emariti men to be chaevenists - but I found the opposite to be true. Family and children are important in their culture - a few times when I have been out with my children and clearly needed help - young Emariti men in their 20s have politely offered to help me. There have been few cultures in the world where I have experienced this.

I love Dubai, there seems to be an extreme hate campaign against it here on Mumsnet. All this ethical business, working conditions have vastly improved. Those who go into Primark and buy £1 T-shirt's I wonder what the working conditions are like for those making them.

It's a luxurious holiday with a reasonable length flight or great for a 3 day stop off onto somewhere long haul. Great food from all over the world. My kids love going into the malls and all getting food from different places. Lots of kids rides and activities there too.

There are great beaches and waterparks which is what my kids look for in a holiday.

I know it's not for everyone but I don't think you can rule out a place without visiting it.

@LadyRochfordsSpikedGusset
Have you ever stayed at The Atlantis The Palm??? I can categorically state that it is NOTHING like staying in a Spanish resort. The very comparison is hysterical . The aquarium within the hotel alone was phenomenal... beautifully clean, beautifully decorated. Amazing restaurants. Pristine beach. I can’t put in to words how amazing it was.
Yes it was expensive to drink but luckily DH and I hardly drink and I was ttc so didn’t touch a drop anyway.
The mall was hideously overpriced but we loved visiting just to look at all the designer gear we’ll never afford haha. Plus the Cheesecake Factory was a winner.
Also the Burj Khalifa was amazing, never seen views like it (being the tallest building in the world). We had an absolute ball.

"Being gay is illegal here (I'm in Dubai) but there are plenty of gay people living, working and socialising here. And there's a big underground gay scene. People are left to get on with their lives if they dont cause offence."

Well that's okay then. So long as you pretend you're not gay and ' don't cause offense' it's all fine and dandy.

HugoBears as I’ve said I haven’t been to Dubai, through choice, I did have the option. I knew lot’s of people that ‘had’ to work there for periods of time and from how they described it I decided not to. It just didn’t sound very different from a glorified Marbella with added anti-gay laws and modern slavery added into the mix. Oh and the death penalty. For little benefit as far as I could see unless you really love shopping and tall buildings.

from how they described it I decided not to. It just didn’t sound very different from a glorified Marbella

I think your statement is more about how the people you know spent their time.

How would you describe it Polly -? am genuinely interested.

How would you describe it Polly -? am genuinely interested

I don’t think you are.

I am! As I said I have t been. I'm going on info from friends and what I've seen on the net. Can you tell me otherwise?

Haven't.

We've just come back from 5 nights at Lapita parks resort, cost us £600 each including park tickets, half board and flights. So £3k seems a lot just for flights? There's loads to do in Dubai, we had Legoland, Legoland water park, motiongate theme park (all of the characters such as Shrek, Smurfs, Trannsylvania etc etc) there was trick or treating round all the restuarants outside and inside the park - it was an amazing atmosphere and you have the weather so it doesn't stop you from doing anything.

Old town Dubai is amazing to see, there are loads of things to do, also Ferrari world, treks into the dessert etc. We hate shopping, we walk through the malls to get somewhere not to look at anything. This is our second time as our daughter was too young for the parks last time. We will go again when she's old enough for some of the bigger parks and things like safari into the dessert.

Not in Dubai but Abu Dhabi and LOVING it! There is much to do and shopping definitely won't be part of it.

So far I haven't felt treated one bit differently being a woman wearing shorts and short sleeves than in the UK.

So far I haven't felt treated one bit differently being a woman wearing shorts and short sleeves than in the UK

As a very white western woman myself, (obvs no idea if you are) but I bet if I went to Dubai and the touristy areas they'd be a bit more relaxed about any dress codes they would usually have away from the tourist areas and expat apartment compounds.
Just like they're more relaxed about the alcohol laws if they want your cash in the bars.
It's still all there under the shiny surface.