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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go to Dubai?

276 replies

BrieAndChilli · 28/10/2018 14:55

DH sister (much younger - in her 20s) is moving to Dubai - her friend moved over there, she’s visited a couple of times had a great time partying so has now got a job out there. All good. She’s leaving end of the month. We will all miss her but not DHs family are talking about going over there for a family holiday next year.
I’ve looked at flights and for the 5 of us it would be about £3k plus then accommodation as I doubt she would be able to put us all up plus spending money etc.
We have never spent that amount of money on a holiday but if she was in austrialia/Thailand/America I would scrimp and save as I know we would have a great time.
However from what I have read about Dubai it’s basically a giant shopping mall in the desert. Fine if all you want when you go on holiday is to sit around the pool all day and eat and drink all night but that’s not us nor the kids.
Would I be unreasonable to say thanks but no thanks I’d rather go on an expensive holiday elsewhere?

Not to drop feed but when we were in our 20s we went abroad for 3 years so MIL, SIL who was a young teenager, aunt and cousin all came out 2 years running for a holiday with us in the south of France.
However that was much much cheaper than Dubai!!

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 28/10/2018 15:49

I went to Dubai many many years ago before I realised the terrible human right record and abuse below the surface. My friend lived in Dubai and worked as an air hostess on emirates. She was very lucky she didn’t end up dead in the desert and was told so. You couldn’t pay me to go there. The south of France is rather different.

bluejelly · 28/10/2018 15:50

Dubai is a great stop off on the way somewhere else. You could have the main holiday in Thailand or Malaysia, and spend 2 nights with SIL on way out

ihearttc · 28/10/2018 15:51

I have been to Dubai many times and I have always felt safe there. Like PP there are designated carriages on the metro and even ladies only taxis.

There is so much more to do there than people think there is...in fact its my children's favourite holiday destination! We last went April 2017 and my DS2 got CP when he was there-honestly the staff in the hotel couldn't have done more for us. We were treated like royalty.

Seriously don't judge somewhere until you have been.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 28/10/2018 15:53

My sil lives there, we're taking the kids to visit next year before they decide to follow their dc back to the uk. Flights for 6 of us was only 1500 though.

lrwe · 28/10/2018 15:53

If you want to go to Thailand/Australia/Far east why not go and do a few days stop over on the way, or way back. That's what my brother did when we lived in Dubai. And the main point with it was that he was coming to visit us, to see where we lived. Plus I much preferred the 3 day visitor as it was much easier!!!

It's not much different on the prices of the flight and if she lives there you'll be able to know a lot more about the place. For example when we went back we stayed in a two bed serviced apartment which was loads and loads cheaper than the hotels.

There is more to do than shop - depends what you're into, there's the old town, water parks, beaches, dune bashes, Bedouin experiences, falconry, quad bikes, etc etc etc.

chrisinthesun · 28/10/2018 15:54

@Brieandchilli

YANBU. I wouldn't go to Dubai if the trip was free, (or if you paid me,) and I cannot fathom why ANYone would to live there. Loads of celebs have homes there, and I really believe it's just to show off. IMO, they come across as very pretentious when they say they have a place in Dubai and spend much of the year there. I just think 'why???' Confused WHY do you want to even VISIT there, let alone live there?!

So many reasons why, many that have already been listed, (soulless, overrated, super-expensive, too hot, bad human rights/treat women badly, oversized shopping mall in a huge desert, amongst other things...)

Ditto Australia. I would not mind visiting it if the trip was paid for, but I would never pay 3 or 4 grand to go. I would rather spend it on a trip South America (Peru/Colombia/Chile/Argentina for example...) or Africa - maybe Morocco/Namibia/South Africa/Egypt.) And I would definitely never want to live in Australia.

Too hot, too many flies and dangerous bugs and reptiles (incl very dangerous snakes, and killer spiders the size of a cow!) In addition, it's waaaaaaaay too far away from the rest of the world.

Also I would only move a great distance, (eg; Dubai, far East, Australia,) if I had no-one else who meant anything to me, living here in the UK.

I know many people move abroad, and stay there, but I really cannot get my head around why or how, if they are close to their family.

Wouldn't be for me at all. Sorry to sound judgy; just being honest.

IcedPurple · 28/10/2018 16:03

Loads of celebs have homes there, and I really believe it's just to show off.

From what I've heard, they are given these homes for free (or even paid to be photographed there) to promote the tourist industry.

midnightblue2018 · 28/10/2018 16:06

HermioneWeasley Sun 28-Oct-18 14:57:41
I would never visit. The human rights abuses are terrible and the treatment of women is appalling
So agree with this. The way they treat immigrant workers from poorer countries is appalling. If a worker wants to leave his employment the employer holds them to ransom by keeping hold of their passport. Spend your money elsewhere.

chrisinthesun · 28/10/2018 16:08

@IcedPurple

From what I've heard, they are given these homes for free (or even paid to be photographed there) to promote the tourist industry.

Wow I didn't know that. The properties cost a fortune too!

They say the rich get richer!

Dahlietta · 28/10/2018 16:13

I’m not sure about pp’s implication that you can’t experience local culture in Blackpool- the place is absolutely dripping in it 😂.

But no, OP, I wouldn’t want to go to Dubai either (or Blackpool)

jellyfrizz · 28/10/2018 16:13

Why don't you book a flight to Thailand or somewhere you want to go with Emirates then you can stop over for free to see your sister for a couple of days?

jellyfrizz · 28/10/2018 16:13

Sorry, SIL.

BewareOfDragons · 28/10/2018 16:15

My reasons are to do with human rights, modern day slavery, greed/corruption and the massive differences in the law.*

And it is a giant fucking mall with pools in the desert.

No thank you.

I wouldn't go to Dubai for those very reasons either.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 28/10/2018 16:19

Could you try to find an amazing place between yourself and your sil which everyone will love instead? I agree on the Dubai thing. It's soulless and contrived (and could be anywhere) but some people love it.

Mrskeats · 28/10/2018 16:20

Yanbu. I wouldn't go for all the reasons already listed.
My exh took my daughters and they hated it.

TatianaLarina · 28/10/2018 16:23

Hell no. No way am I ever going to Dubai.

Nothing stopping DH going there solo to see his sis though.

LakieLady · 28/10/2018 16:25

I wouldn't go if you paid me £3k to go there.

Their human rights record is shite poor (although not the worst in the region) and the way the foreign construction workers have been treated is appalling.

Plus it's really not my cup of tea: I don't like cities that are all modern or hot countries, and shopping and lying by a pool would bore me rigid.

jellyfrizz · 28/10/2018 16:25

Sorry irwe, I didn't RTFT to see you had already made that suggestion Blush

XingMing · 28/10/2018 16:26

Love Dubai! It's fascinating because it's at the front end of the future. They don't find reasons not to build infrastructure; Instead they ask how it can be done. It changes constantly. I wouldn't want to live there but I've been on holiday every few years for the last 20 years, and always found something new. But I haven't ever stayed in a hotel.

FlippinNora1 · 28/10/2018 16:27

I’ve been 4 times, 2 times on stop overs and 2 times for work. It is an unpleasant place, full of male arrogance and status symbols. If you are not a very wealthy male, you are very much a second class citizen. And I hated the expat community. Full of overpaid Brits letting the money and being able to afford staff go to their heads.

The relentless air conditioning was pretty horrid too. Everyone lives indoors, outdoors can get nostril-burning hot Shock

MrsOrMiss · 28/10/2018 16:39

Well, I love Dubai and I'm a woman. It's one of the safest places I've been, and there's a lot to do.
As for flights, my DS, DIL and 5 children managed to get flights for £1600 when they went. They stayed a couple of nights at the Premier Inn - you don't have to stay at an Atlantis type of hotel if you don't want to - and then they stayed with us in our villa.

All expats work in the Middle East for the same reason, to make a better life for their families. Many are paying for schooling for their children, the medicines family members need, many simply providing housing and food back home. Even the Western expats are here for that, not everyone's 'home' country has free social care available to all - $20,000 for a friend of mine to deliver her still born baby in the US Sad.
What's the saying 'Walk a mile in my shoes' before judging?

YANBU for not wanting to go, but if you DO decide to, go from Oct to Feb and avoid the heat. Your SIL might've decided Dubai's not for her by next summer anyway. It's s long time away.

LivingInATreehouse · 28/10/2018 16:41

It really depends on what sort of holiday it will be.
Many people visit Dubai and get caught in the mall/beach/brunch type of holiday or lifestyle and don't see any other side of it.

I have lived in the UAE for over half my life and have experienced very little of that simply because there is a lot more to offer and the fake/glam 'lifestyle' does not appeal to me.

The desert and the surrounding emirates are stunning. There is culture, there are old and historic parts, but visitors rarely seek this out or are not aware of it. Many people even live in the UAE for a few years and leave again having hardly even spoken to an Emirati, which is a shame.

To address some of the points other posters have made. Regarding human rights, it is good to have some understanding of the lives that the guys who work on the building sites have left behind. They have no work whatsoever in their home countries and are on such a low level of poverty that it is hard for us to imagine. They can come to the Middle East, work for 2/3 years, send all of their salaries home (food/accommodation comes with the job), and buy land or a home. They will also be supporting all of their extended families (aunts, uncles, cousins, parents etc etc) while away from home.

The UAE government has worked very hard to ensure that the accommodation the men live in is of a good standard and there are regular inspections. the men are not allowed to work outside in the summer between 12 and 3pm, companies who breach this are fined heavily.

It is very hard as Westerners looking from a Western point of view at the men outside, to think outside of our equal pay thinking but you have to look at it from their point of view - they simply wouldn't come if it wasn't beneficial for them, and as hard as that is for us to understand it is true - 2 or 3 years here is life changing for them, they return home and are sorted for the rest of their lives.

The economy in Kerala in India has been turned on its head due to work in the Middle East. There are now so many men in various positions in the ME that the women are actually going out to work, climbing coconut trees and doing traditional work that men used to do years ago, it's quite interesting to read about this.

Regarding safety, the UAE is an extremely safe place to be, whether this is leaving a phone or handbag in a taxi and having it delivered back to you a few days later intact, or walking around the streets in the day or night. Like anywhere, be sensible, but it is very safe.

It's very easy to think of Dubai as like Las Vegas or all malls in the desert, or all brunches etc, and yes if you come and you want that sort of holiday or lifestyle it's all there. If you want more out of it though, the culture, the simple life, the hospitality of Emiratis, it's there too, you just need to step off the beaten track.

Angelil · 28/10/2018 16:43

I wouldn't want to go there either so don't blame you OP.
Can't your husband go on his own? It's his sister, not yours...

Racecardriver · 28/10/2018 16:43

I wouldn’t want to go there on holiday but it isn’t holiday, it’s visiting family. We spend asall fortune/all of our time off on seeing family internationally in the same (boring) place year after year. We haven’t had a proper holiday for years as a result but we don’t mind because that is the only option for seeing our family.

pickletickled · 28/10/2018 16:43

It's certainly not on my bucket list for pretty much every reason stated above so no YANBU.