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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you consider me transphobic?

349 replies

TheSkyisAlive · 26/10/2018 05:54

First of all I believe that gender dysphoria is a mental illness and should not be treated with hormones and surgery. Having said that, it's their body and their choice and if that's what a person wants, they shouldn't face abuse or live in fear.

But just because you identify as a female does not mean you are one. Even after surgery.

You do not understand what it is like to be a female and the problems we face. You do not get to speak on behalf of women. You should not compete in female only sports.

Does that make me transphobic or simply someone who does not want the females to be second class citizens?

OP posts:
Bigotbut · 26/10/2018 23:43

TerfedOff

I think you may have failed to understand how counselling works. GrinGrin

In relation to gender counselling it is not about trying to change their identity- its about giving them room to explore it in a safe space. That is how a lot of counselling works.

I prefer the AAP statement by qualified professionals to something whipped up by - remind me again who TT is and why we should listen to them? Grin

www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/AAP-Policy-Statement-Urges-Support-and-Care-of-Transgender-and-Gender-Diverse-Children-and-Adolescents.aspx

jillowarriorqueen · 26/10/2018 23:45

No, you are not transphobic. If people say you are, they are just wrong. Ignore them.

LifeEhFindsAWay · 26/10/2018 23:46

Yes you are transphobic. I'm not surprised you don't believe you are though. Homophobics and racists also believe they are not those things.

PlantsArePeopleToo · 26/10/2018 23:51

Transgender Trend is run by parents of trans children who prefer to follow the advice of the tavistock and the NHS rather than that of Mermaids and Stonewall.

They basically follow a watch and wait approach rather than opting to pump their kids full of puberty blockers. Their approach often has them branded as transphobes but oh well. Can't please everybody.

PlantsArePeopleToo · 26/10/2018 23:55

If you believe that the OP is being transphobic then could you please explain how?

How exactly is is transphobic to say that trans women are biologically male therefore have all the physical advantages of being male? How is it transphobic to suggest that because of these advantages that it probably isn't a good idea to compete with women in sports?

Do you not think that by tossing the word transphobia around you're belittling what genuine transphobia is?

Penny1976 · 26/10/2018 23:57

Looking at that transgender trend Pack I will be sending it to my friend who is a teacher. We were in the pub earlier and she was saying that they have just had their first transgender child at school. They are managing the child by letting them use a separate facility as they do not wish them to change with the children of the opposite sex nor use the toilets of the opposite sex.

So thanks for the link. In response to the original poster I don't think you're transphobic at all.

We were having a laugh in the pub earlier actually saying that basically anything is transphobic nowadays there are a lot of jokes going around on Facebook about self identifying as ridiculous things.

Penny1976 · 26/10/2018 23:59

One I've seen was I Self identify as a microwave dinner because I'm ready in 5 minutes but don't look anything like my pictures 😂😁🤣

curious8 · 27/10/2018 00:12

I don't understand the comparison to homosexuality? They're completely different. This is to do with biology, not sexuality. I agree with the op.

Unicyclethief · 27/10/2018 00:13

Like the awful homophobia and racism shown by some TRAs? LifeEh? They don’t seem to believe their ideology is homophobic and many of their analogies are incredibly racist. Well actually I am sure they do know really, don’t they? Just as I am sure if you think really hard about it, you do too!

curious8 · 27/10/2018 00:14

Oops.

I don't understand, do you think sexuality is some kind of metaphysical sprite? Because if it's happening in the body, it's biology. And P. S. the body includes the brain.

Bigotbut · 27/10/2018 00:36

PlantsArePeopleToo

Didn't the person that founded Transgender Trend run that failing cult school in Lewes? Wasnt there something about them being able to cure homosexuality and reinforcing gender roles?

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 27/10/2018 02:44

No, Bigotbut. Anyone who says Transgender Trend is trying to cure homosexuality and reinforcing gender roles is doing a reverse.

It's quite the opposite.

It's TRAs that seek to deny women's right to homosexual orientation. It's transgender ideology that values gender stereotypes over biological sex.

On its homepage Transgender Trend links to an article The Unspoken Homophobia Propelling the Transgender Movement in Children.

Stephanie Davies-Arai, founder of Transgender Trend, is a founding member of a small independent primary school in East Sussex. That's it. Nothing cult about it.

She also did a guest post for Mumsnet on How to talk to your teenagers about porn.

JAPAB · 27/10/2018 07:07

It's TRAs that seek to deny women's right to homosexual orientation. It's transgender ideology that values gender stereotypes over biological sex.

On the first point isn't the issue more subtle than the way you present it?

They do believe people can be orientated only to men or women and thus be gay or straight, but some of them do not believe that this naturally includes a "barrier" towards the trans subset. So you are entitled to be a straight man who can only be attracted to women for example, but if you then exclude the trans women subset of women then this derives from prejudice or from being conditioned by living in a "cissexist" society.

So it is the equivalent of believing a person who only dates the opposite biological sex to be a repressed homosexual or bisexual. It is not that you want to deny heterosexuality or somesuch, you just believe that that person is going against their natural sexuality due to conditioning or prejudice etc.

A bit simplistic to reduce a slightly complicated viewpoint to headline terms in order to portray the relevant people as homophobic.

On the second point, again arguably simplistic spin based on unproven assumptions about transgenderism.

LifeEhFindsAWay · 27/10/2018 07:18

unicyclethief sources?

LifeEhFindsAWay · 27/10/2018 07:22

And a handful of trans people having racist or homophobic views doesn't translate in the trans 'movement' being racist or homophobic btw. Might as well say that about all white and heterosexual people.

I don't know why I am arguing with transphobics online though.

OkMaybeNot · 27/10/2018 07:25

On the first point isn't the issue more subtle than the way you present it?

So you are entitled to be a straight man who can only be attracted to women for example, but if you then exclude the trans women subset of women then this derives from prejudice

Since transwomen have penises, that makes them biologically male and therefore disqualified from most lesbians' dating pool. What you just described there is homophobia, champ.

OkMaybeNot · 27/10/2018 07:26

Sorry, and most heterosexual mens' dating pool, too.

Somersetlady · 27/10/2018 07:29

I agree with most of your comments.

They way i think of it is this.

An anorexic persons wholly believes they are fat. They are not fat. They have a memtal illness. The gender debate, if we followed the same thinking, would mean we should say to the anoerxia suferer yes we hear you. You feel fat you are fat we accept that. Despite the fct they may be fading away. The only difference is that we can SEE the anorexic person is mentally ill.

Unicyclethief · 27/10/2018 07:31

Oh ffs, are you really so unable to think critically? All those TRAs that are seeking to erase lesbians? Or trans the gay out of little boys who prefer girl things? Or those TRAs who say trans women are just a subset of women... like black women. Have you never fucking heard of Twitter? Or shite op-ed in newspapers? Do you live under an actual rock?

Unicyclethief · 27/10/2018 07:36

like all the trans organisations/individuals that are currently advising government on trans issues? They aren’t a handful are they? They have some very dangerous ideas. I am guessing you aren’t a woman, so you don’t actually give a fuck, do you.

LifeEhFindsAWay · 27/10/2018 07:52

Still no sources. Just you swearing a lot at me (and yes I am a woman, a tolerant, open-minded one), but no sources. I guess your transphobia is just making your head explode, causing you to rant and rave, but you can't back up your claims. Unsurprising.

LifeEhFindsAWay · 27/10/2018 08:00

Maybe you mean things like this tweet?

twitter.com/bo_novak/status/1015578992236253184?s=19

Luckily the majority of people replying seem to recognise this for what it is. Transphobia.

Unicyclethief · 27/10/2018 08:01

Well no, seeing as she is not a TRA.

JAPAB · 27/10/2018 08:03

Since transwomen have penises, that makes them biologically male and therefore disqualified from most lesbians' dating pool. What you just described there is homophobia, champ.

Yes but you only think that because you disagree with the viewpoint. Take a person who you agree is a repressed homosexual or bisexual. Unlikely you will consider it "heterophobic" for someone to comment on the fact that this individual is exclusing the same sex from their dating pool for reasonsof prejudice or social conditioning.

Yes I know that you don't agreee that people who ID as gay straight or lesbian similarly have the natural ability to be interested in the trans subsets, but that doesn't make the people who do homophobic. They believe that they are dealing with conditioning/prejudice too.

Dermymc · 27/10/2018 08:04

Rat strikes me as being cisphobic

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