to be really surprised that the school assumed these things?

[JessieMcJessie]

I emailed a local school to ask about visiting because we are thinking of sending our son there. My email didn’t state my title and referred to “we” and “our son” but didn’t say explicitly that his other parent was male, or that we were married.

The email came back “Dear Mrs McJessie” and asked me to give my husband’s full name if he was joining me on the visit.

AIBU to be very surprised that they just assumed that I (a) went by “Mrs” (b) was married and (c) was heterosexual? In actual fact they were correct on all three counts, but that’s not the point- I thought that people were a bit more careful to assume nothing in this day and age.

what’s next, assuming you identify as human?

Kind of boring given that they were right but yeah they shouldn’t assume. Maybe it’s just the person answering emails but maybe look at their policies and check they are right for you. If you sign off your emails in one way (eg Jane) I would expect a reply to the same name.

I think you have too much time on your hands to wonder what you might be offended by next.

FFS. It sounds to me like you didn't write "mrs" or mention your husband in the email to get that kind of response just so you could start a MN thread and moan about.
You'd only have a reason to moan if you were in a same-sex marriage/not married but then most people would be sensible enough to write their title in the email.
It's stupid things like this that make every little thing somehow become politically incorrect and causing trouble when it's not needed. It's just getting stupid now!!

The thing is MrsA2015 you may scoff but I would prefer my son not to be taught to assume that every relationship follows the standard Mr and Mrs format. Perhaps it is close to my heart because my best friend is a gay parent, but I really thought we’d moved on from that. It’s not a church school, by the way.

You need to get out more.

They were absolutely correct, had they been incorrect you politely correct them and move on.

Growingboys where did I say I was offended?

My dd has a different surname. I get Mrs Ex all the time. It’s sloppy and lazy.

OP, as you stated hey were all correct so why the fuck are you offended ?!?!? School don't care about your friends orientation, they are looking to teach.

What would you like

Dear person if unknown marital status McJesse

Please can you confirm if your partner spouse companion of the opposite sex (or otherwise) or person who identifies as the child's addition parent or guardian wishes to accompany you?

Really

@JessieMcJessie home school your kid! You're only going to have issues otherwise!

Most people would be sensible enough to write their title in an email

What? You really think most people would have signed off with “Kind regards, Mrs Jessie McJessie” or, even worse “Kind regards, Jessie McJessie (Mrs)”?! Come ON. Why would that be remotely necessary in order to arrange a visit to a school?

“Moved on from that” that being what exactly? Seriously. Everything’s so politically correct these days.

Statistically, if you signed your name with a name more commonly female than male (such as "Jessie") and you have children, on the balance of probabilities you are probably female and have a male partner. Many people would find an email back that didn't assume those things to be impersonal or the sender to be a bit dim (or rude).

It's stupid things like this that make every little thing somehow become politically incorrect and causing trouble when it's not needed. It's just getting stupid now!!

^ this

The thing is MrsA2015 you may scoff but I would prefer my son not to be taught to assume that every relationship follows the standard Mr and Mrs format.

The good news is, OP, that the support staff member, who wrote the reply back to you, won’t be teaching your DS...

Schools generally give a shit about the kids they are caring for. Not so much about how they reply to emails from snowflakes.

Again, Minicooperlover where did I say I was offended? I said I was SURPRISED.

Greentulips

“Dear Jessie
Yes you can visit on x date and time. Please let us know the name of any other parent or carer who will accompany you.”

Haven’t you noticed that most official communications from doctors/councils etc now avoid assuming that every child has, or is cared for by, a mother and a father?

Okay they shouldn't have assumed you were married but I've lost count of how many women have been outraged at being addressed as 'Ms'. I think Mrs is the automatic default to be honest.

Again, assuming you have a husband was a bit presumptuous. On the other hand a lot of married women don't like their DH being referred to as their 'partner'

Do you have any suggestions as to how they should have worded it? If so send them an email and ask them to consider it.

Political correctness gone mad - you need a hobby OP !!

Yes because one email asking for your husband’s name (which I assume you gave them, because he is a man who is your husband) means the entire teaching staff are homophobic.

Oh. Cross post!

Addressing you by your first name on first contact is a bit familiar imo.