AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

[DaysDragonBy]

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

YANBU

I'd be livid too. What was she thinking?

it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN

The law disagrees.

I have no idea op. I have a similar issue with a teacher who keeps asking my child to do something their pupil passport says not to. Some teachers just think they know better and can do as they please it's a shame as she's let down the rest of her colleagues who manage to follow it just fine!

"well....the hustle and bustle of a school day is likely to cause more upset to his broken arm than simply holding an object for the art teacher !"

So what is your answer? All children with injuries stay at home until they are able to cope with the hustle and bustle. Doctors' orders are ignored because we can't protect them from the hustle and bustle anyway? Children with permanent disabilities just don't get educated because they might struggle with the hustle and bustle?

"Obvs I don't think child should miss school just think Op's post is way over the top ..insisting he dare not remove sling or hold anything. Ffs..give the school some credit for common sense !"

So why do you think the doctor put the sling on in the first place? To signal that the arm was now ready to be used? Or is it just that we don't need to credit doctors with common sense?

Of course he is allowed to be in school. Can you imagine the furore if I kept him home
He is not allowed out at break times, he comes home for lunch. He has a "bodyguard" to keep other kids away from him on the stairs and to help him with shoes at lunch and I go into the classroom to collect him in the afternoon. It is not his writing hand, so he can do other lessons fine. He is off PE for 6 weeks. Doctor will only see him if he is in pain tomorrow.

So briefly saw the teacher. I asked if she could explain what had happened with DS class today. She looked bemused and said she hadn't taught him today. I looked equally bemused and said that was strange because he had said that you have removed his sling in art today. Oh yes, she said. I asked why! She looked confused. I said that he is not allowed to hold anything in his hand and she said she hadn't been told that and DS didn't tell her. That she had taken it off and given him something small to hold and as soon as TA came in she told her. She said she didn't think it would be an issue as she's taught other children with broken arms in plaster. As he doesn't often do anything in class, which is not a problem because she knows he has "issues", she thought he was just trying to get out of doing anything so she has to be strict with him and insist he does stuff when he doesn't want to. which to me means that he did say something

I asked if she knew why he didn't do anything in class and had she ever asked him if he knew what he was supposed to be doing. "No." She said, I have the rest of the class to look after and his TA will be there at some point. Then she said she had to go as she had a class waiting.

The art teacher (not the class teacher nor TA, who he has for 6 hours a week) has now called me from her mobile, has thought about it, apologised, said that she doesn't think it will do any good if I complain and tell the school I think they have made a mistake and asked to talk after school.

I will credit sensible teachers with sense and non-sensible teachers with nonsense.

In the first category, we find the teachers of disabled dd's secondary school who devised a route she could take between classrooms to avoid being pushed over and made sure she was able to use the lift.

In the second category we find (inter alios) the teacher who instructed a 10yo to push another 10yo in a wheelchair down a set of steps onto the narrow pavement of a heavily trafficked street because she didn't want the effort of unlocking the door that would have taken her safely out of the reception area. Is that someone who deserves to be credited with common sense?

just think Op's post is way over the top ..insisting he dare not remove sling or hold anything.

Forgive me for following the doctor's instructions, hoping to god DS doesn't need to have an operation because it hasn't set properly, and doing to utmost to ensure that the instructions are followed.

As a teacher, I agree with the poster whose DH taught and stated that there were plenty of idiots in teaching, just as in most walks of life. However, I take issue with the "changing my teaching style" comment as that in my view is really unprofessional. Summarising what you want a class to do after a long explanation is just sensible. It's hardly wholesale style changes, more like a tweak.

In the OP's shoes, I would send in again (if not already done so, and I may have missed this) the information from the hospital. Send it by email to the school office and ask that it is sent to all adults who may interact with her DS. Having heard the school's version of events, I would then send in a calm but firm complaint. As I can be quite mean in such situations if my own kids are wronged, I would probably ask for the "offending" teacher's medical credentials to be disclosed as she "knew better" than the hospital doctor. Then wait and watch them squirm.

Yep - DS came home with a broken leg from one of the top Indie SSs one day - after iceskating - he tried to tell the TAs, but he was generally off the SSs school 'radar' - being quite a nice lad really and a day boy - so generally ignored.

The school expected me to go 'ballistic' - not that I ever had - by the time you've fought your way to an Indie SS you're way too cynical.

The School fees were so high, the quiet countryside location the only way, it couldn't go wrong for DS once he was there really.

It's such a shame that is was what we had to leave in order to get DS a choice in how he could live his life.

Never mind eh. The HT of the Indie SS thinks that ASD, ADHD is all "alphabet soup" as he did an online questionnaire that said he was 'autistic'.

We're back nearly to where we started from - for better more than worse - but what a fucking trough of pig shit to have to wade through.

Don't tar all teachers with the same brush, not all are idiots, just most of them.

it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN

Actually, that is exactly what we are expected (quite rightly) to do. I am expected (again, quite rightly) to differentiate for the needs of ALL the students in my classes, whether that be SEN, EAL, or any other need. And it really is not all that difficult.

OP, from your last update it is clear that this particular teacher is indeed an idiot.

OP your update reinforces what I had suspected that rather than a teacher ignoring medical instructions its an issue of making sure those instructions are followed. (as an aside she does sound that great at dealing with him but to go against medical instructions is something else)

I would want to know exactly how the medical information given to the school was disseminate around - if its just his TA who knew it that is not good enough as she is not always eithe him

The art teacher (not the class teacher nor TA, who he has for 6 hours a week) has now called me from her mobile, has thought about it, apologised, said that she doesn't think it will do any good if I complain and tell the school I think they have made a mistake and asked to talk after school.
She knows shes in trouble.I would talk to her after school but i would still have a meeting wiht the Head.

OP your update reinforces what I had suspected that rather than a teacher ignoring medical instructions its an issue of making sure those instructions are followed. (as an aside she does sound that great at dealing with him but to go against medical instructions is something else)

If a child appeared in my class with his arm in a sling, I would not need to have had any "instructions" that it would probably not be a good idea to remove the sling! I do not understand why anyone would do that!

Forgot to say - DS came home with a broken leg that the school completely ignored because they didn't know him enough after 4 years to listen to him, that he "heard a snap".

It took me an hour after he came home to realize that he was lying in bed, red-faced and speechless not because he had had a 'bad day' that I didn't know about but that he had broken his bloody leg!

We were planning our 'exit' anyway, possibly I might have been a little bit more wistful about it otherwise.

Never mind eh. What's a broken leg compared to ...... the many broken lives.....

If a child appeared in my class with his arm in a sling, I would not need to have had any "instructions" that it would probably not be a good idea to remove the sling! I do not understand why anyone would do that!

Exactly this, surely that's basic common sense??? 

Someone upthread said that teachers are just people. How true that is and some of them are arseholes. 95% of the teachers in my school are fantastic, but yep, we have our arseholes too.

Sorry, I'm confused by your last post.

You saw the teacher (class?) who said she hadn't taught, but then that she'd removed his sling because he often just did nothing?

The art teacher has called you and said don't bother complaining?

Is that right?

I'd complain about both of them, from that. Very strongly.

Oh the teacher is bang out of line and its all very well posters dismissing it but I highly doubt they'd accept that for their own kids.

However you did your self no favors by saying Idiot teacher's therefore tarring all teachers with the same brush. Also telling your son to be as rude as he likes is setting him a very bad example

She now says she didn't remove the sling, just altered it's positioning so his hand was free to hold something.

DS was playing on the other side of the playground with DD and he laughed with DD. She said "Look how he enjoys the conflict between us, how he's trying to play you off against me" . I asked if she actually understood DS and pointed out I hadn't told DS I had spoken to her or was going to speak to her.

She believes that everybody should be allowed to make a mistake once.
She apologised, said she really didn't know he mustn't use his hand.
I accepted her apology but said I would discuss with DH and decide if we would take it further.

She really doesn't see the need. They spend so much time and energy on DS yet she has no time to ask him if he has understood his tasks I class and it would destroy the trust between us and the school if we point out any errors that they make.

I said yes, but it's not just one mistake is it? It's a cascade of mistakes and it's not the first time it has happened.

She made a great deal of DS being special and how the staff always discuss him and do their best for him.

She said she has taught him for 2.5 years, and knows him well. So I asked if seriously in those 2.5 years she has never asked him if he understands what he has to do. "No, I don't think so. I can't remember."

Again I said, whilst I accepted her apology, I was concerned about the lack of communication between the teachers and it's not the first time there has been an issue.
She said it's the first time she has heard of it.
I said "Exactly my point."

She still thinks its a bad idea for me to raise it further and I need to trust the school. That it's not fair on class teacher and TA if I complain.
I said I would discuss it with DH and we would decide what we want to do.
She repeated about how it would cause bad blood and said they are doing their best for DS.
So I agreed and said I would discuss with DH and we would also do the best for DS.
Shook hands and left.

She is trying to cover her arse.And who says about a child that they"enjoy"playing op and the teacher off againtsh each other.For that comment alone i would be going further.

Exactly this, surely that's basic common sense???

Common sense really isn't all that common.

She still thinks its a bad idea for me to raise it further and I need to trust the school.

Bad idea my arse, she means bad for her. And the thing about "enjoying the conflict between us" - bloody hell! She sounds awful, so self-interested she is prepared to make up crap about a child and victim-blame to try to get herself out of trouble.

She has fucked up and now she is fucking up a hell of a lot more IMO with those comments. Write it all down on paper and take into a meeting with the head or other senior teacher.

She's on a warning or something, I bet. We had a similar stupid conversation with a science teacher at dd's secondary. She left soon after, thank god, having been a recent appointee anyway.

The truth will probably be a toned down version of what you think you know OP.

If your son knows how rev'd you get about the ' idiot teachers' , then he might have seen the chance to make a little bit of mischief out of a misunderstanding.

I personally think you need to request a meeting with the school to discuss the incident and get the teachers version. If you aren't satisfied after that, take it further ( Governors, LEA etc).

The teacher might be rubbish. There are quite a lot of them about these days due to the bribes ( £30k tax free to train as a Physics teacher, anyone?) unsuitable people are offered to join the profession. I would make sure you are fighting the right battle first though.