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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

371 replies

DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 11:59

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

OP posts:
continuallychargingmyphone · 25/10/2018 12:31

Do you now see why I answered as I did, OP?

BarbarianMum · 25/10/2018 12:32

I would be very Hmm at any teacher who encouraged a child to remove a sling without checking first. And at primary, it should be the parent they are checking with.

GruciusMalfoy · 25/10/2018 12:35

What I'd do is take a breath and consider that the story might not be absolutely accurate. I've been extremely close to calling the school about things my son has told me (he also is autistic) but when I spoke to another parent, or another child in his clasd, my son has taken things differently than what was intended.

You'll get further if you don't go in all guns blazing, and accept that there might be another side. Of course, your son might be totally correct in what happened, but you'll find that out in time.

crochetmonkey74 · 25/10/2018 12:35

If you and your child aren't happy, then move them

As a teacher, this x a million

UpstartCrow · 25/10/2018 12:36

Teachers are just people, but if they dont have the common sense not to insist a pupil use their broken arm they should not be teaching.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 25/10/2018 12:37

Why is everybody assuming the child is lying?

Poppyinagreenfield · 25/10/2018 12:38

You have anger issues.

Sleepyblueocean · 25/10/2018 12:38

Aside from dealing with this particular situation I would write him a note that he can carry around with him, stating that he cannot hold things with that hand. ( I'm assuming secondary with multiple teachers)

Rhiannon13 · 25/10/2018 12:38

Totally agree that you need to calm down first OP.

And this: be as rude and he wants. Not good. You need to teach him to get his point across effectively without being rude (once you've mastered this yourself).

Brokendown18 · 25/10/2018 12:39

Telling your son to be as rude as he likes is crazy. He needed a note explaining what he couldn’t do that he could pull out at that time. Your annoyance with school could be that they didn’t pass on the info. You can’t assume though that all children with casts can’t hold anything, you need to tell the school clearly.

I agree about the bullet points though. I think your overly aggressive post does make people wonder how much of a grudge you have, or whether they are really shite.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 12:41

Well, no not really. I'm not asking how people deal with normal professional teachers. Just how to deal with idiot teachers, or if you prefer, teachers who are idiots.

He is 8.

OP posts:
Brokendown18 · 25/10/2018 12:41

Upstartcrow there’s enough of a recruitment crisis as it is! Anyway it was his wrist not his arm, no?

Brokendown18 · 25/10/2018 12:43

OP this is one teacher? If you rephrased your title you would have got a better result. Same as telling your son to be rude, you catch more flies with honey than shit (so I believe, never tried it)

Piffle11 · 25/10/2018 12:45

I don't think the OP was encouraging DS to tell the teacher 'go fuck yourself' … DC are usually taught to be polite and consider the feelings of others: If DS is continually saying 'no, I can't hold that/can't remove my sling' and is being ignored, then I think what OP means is that it would be OK to say something along the lines of 'no i'm not doing it' without worrying that he is being rude.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 25/10/2018 12:47

Sounds more like information hasn’t been passed on to me. Speak to his ta to find out what happened and then get a meeting with the Senco to discuss all the issues you have.
It certainly isn’t beyond reasonable to ask for a clear summary of instructions on a post it for a child with asd to tick off. That is something my dcs teacher does. Likely the teacher would benefit from some asd training.

BewareOfDragons · 25/10/2018 12:49

I would definitely go in immediately with him and formally complain.

His primary teacher and his TA knew he wasn't allowed to take off his sling or use that hand for a set period of time. They knew.

And they FAILED to make sure anyone who might need to know in the school knew that, too.

That was THEIR job, not yours. You did your job.

And now your SN son has had his sling removed BY A TEACHER (or HLTA by the sounds of it) in spite of his protests, and forced to use his hand, in spite of his protests, and in spite of your explicit instructions based on doctor's advice.

Put your complaint in writing, cc the Head and the Governing body. And insist that the class teacher and the teacher who did this to your son apologise directly to your child and explain that they got it very wrong, that he has done nothing wrong, and that it won't happen again.

HellenaHandbasket · 25/10/2018 12:50

I would say she was an idiot too, and would be 'storming' up to the school to find out more.

"Who do you think you are?" His parent, the one with overall responsibility and say on what happens to him presumably?

ThePinkOcelot · 25/10/2018 12:51

I think Continually answered how she did, because these are the exact responses she expected you to get.
Teachers are the holy grail don’t you know. They work harder, longer hours etc than anyone else on this planet. According to MN!

agapanthus1979 · 25/10/2018 12:51

You've used the phrase 'idiot teachers' again. You don't get it, do you? I understand why you are upset, but you're coming across as an arse.
By the way, telling your son to be as rude as he likes is irresponsible and, if you'll know me to borrow your phrasing, idiotic. You are being deliberately provocative, and in danger of getting your son into trouble. Unnecessary and foolish - even more so considering his ASD diagnosis.
Wind your neck in and take stock before you make the situation worse.

nicebitofquiche · 25/10/2018 12:52

I never got angry/annoyed/slightly miffed about anything that happened at school until I'd got the schools version of events. There are always 2 sides to a story. I did however have to deal with irate parents who believed the version of events told by their dc and wouldn't hear otherwise. Just saying.

agapanthus1979 · 25/10/2018 12:52

Allow, not know...

BewareOfDragons · 25/10/2018 12:52

OH, and don't be bullied into moving him. Ignore those posters.

Your child has support that appears to be otherwise working by the sounds of it. The school should be working hard to keep him and helping him succeed, not failing to do basic things to support him.

The teacher is wrong about the instructions, by the way. She should be adapting them to ANY child who needs a bit of extra support, not just yours. There will be a range of ability in the class anyway ... and that has to be taught to. Otherwise, she's not doing her job.

DancingForTheDog · 25/10/2018 12:53

Has the teacher been informed by you or by your DS about his need to not use his hand OP? If you have informed the school yourself, you need to speak to them to clarify what happened in art class, and if your son is correct about what happened you have every right to be very annoyed. If your DS has 1:1 support then why doesn't his 1:1 bullet point the teacher's instructions for him? I worked as student support at a university for a few years and always did this for my students.

HellenaHandbasket · 25/10/2018 12:54

And seriously, the OP is angry, rightfully and as such is posting angrily. That doesn't mean that she will speak in the same manner to school, most adults are capable of moderating how they speak dependent on medium or audience. 🙄

And why is the assumption always that kids lie?

HellenaHandbasket · 25/10/2018 12:55

And she can't be that great a teacher if she doesn't want to help a child in her class access her teaching.