Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

371 replies

DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 11:59

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

OP posts:
Jux · 26/10/2018 12:18

I think most teachers from HT down are a bit more professional than to take against a parent/family because the family have made a complaint.

So, for your ds' sake make the complaint. You may even find that once he knows what he's supposed to be doing in Art that his masterpieces actually become masterpieces!

Lizzie48 · 26/10/2018 12:22

Not all wrist injuries are the same, @flumpybear surely you must know that there are different bones in the wrist and it depends which one was broken and how badly it's been broken?

My DD2's (6) fracture was like your DS's; she was told that she wasn't to do PE for 6 weeks but the splint was only on for 3 weeks and she was already desperate to get back to her gymnast, which she takes very seriously.

My DNiece OTOH had a suspected broken wrist and my DSis was told that if it was broken it would need to be in a sling for 3 weeks and would have to be kept completely still. Thankfully for her, in the end it turned out that there wasn't any fracture.

Surely it's common sense that not all wrist injuries are the same???

Nanny0gg · 26/10/2018 12:37

Strangely, I'm still going to take the advice of the three doctors who have, you know, seen my son and his X-rays.

Really? With all the 'expertise' available on here?

Willow2017 · 26/10/2018 12:45

not RTFT as it's long

Maybe if you had read ops posts you wouldnt post entirely unhelpful and accusatory posts then?

Jux · 26/10/2018 12:45

flumpybear the long threads are the ones where just answering the opening post makes one look like an idiot and very rude to boot. Just saying.

You may find it helpful to go to Customise and make the op's posts coloured. Then you can skip about reading only those, and save your obviously very precious time. You may find that you don't need to comment at all!

Willow2017 · 26/10/2018 12:49

Really? With all the 'expertise' available on here?

😂😂😂

ButterflyWitch · 26/10/2018 12:56

But how will things change for your DS if you don’t complain??

SleepingStandingUp · 26/10/2018 13:02

OP please complain. Nothing will change it for you're complicit in the lie that the school's attitude is adequate. It isn't. How can his teacher who presumably only has him a few times a week at most not present the information in bullets for all the kids in his class if she's so busy she can't say it twice? Why is she so shit scared of you complaining? I'd be tempted to take all this "if you complain it'll create bad blood which is worse for your son" as a degree of threat - it's your son who'll regret it if you do!!

And actually I think coming in here and ranting is entirely the right thing to do if it means you don't phone the school and scream at someone or do down and throttle someone. You've had a good blow out rant and then been able to deal with the school more calmly. I'm sure they wish more parents thought before they screamed.

HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 26/10/2018 14:44

If the teacher is allowing your son to sit in a lesson for an hour doing nothing because she won't make reasonable adjustments (contrary to the Equality Act 2010) then she is discriminating against him on the grounds of his disability and for that alone I would make a complaint in writing to the Headteacher, Senco and the SEND Department of the Local Authority.

The teacher isn't supporting your son nor is she informing the Senco that he does nothing until a TA arrives in class to make sure he understands the instructions, that is not acceptable, he is being put at a distinct disadvantage purely because of his disability.

Wrt to the broken wrist, she initially agreed that she removed the sling then later said that she "moved it" is that right?

Why does your DH think that it won't help to complain? Your son deserves and is entitled to an education that is free from discrimination and meets his needs.

I would be more than happy to proof read your letter.

MaisyPops · 26/10/2018 18:14

Surely it's common sense that not all wrist injuries are the same???
You'd think.
We get all sorts of things from 'broken hands/wrists that only require a tubigrip and excusing from written subjects but somehow allow the child to do their extracurricular sport that evening as long as they are careful Hmm' (some of yhose even have letters from parents!) through to breaks in casts which require access arrangements such as access to a netbook to replace writing and everything in between.
Even if a child claims they can do X with it my default is 'not with a cast on unless home confirm'. Sometimes you do get children who have worked out thry can hold things and do things so will try to find ways to do them event though thry probably shouldn't.

Common sense is a plaster cast means it's not to be used.

If I was the OP I would be speaking to the HOD first.

WhiteDust · 26/10/2018 20:25

NannyOgg: Um. You do understand how school funding (and especially SEN funding works, yes?
He will be sent to the lesson with the rest of his class because otherwise, where do you suggest he goes? Whether he can participate or not.
Funnily enough I know exactly how funding works. I also know how much flexibility there is in schools. Schools can and do accommodate students who cannot participate independently. They either provide extra in class support temporarily OR include the child in another activity in which they can participate.
Where does OP's son go instead of P.E?

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 26/10/2018 20:47

He sits at the side of the gym and watches the rest of the class.

OP posts:
WinkysTeatowel · 26/10/2018 22:39

Are you complaining OP?

WinkysTeatowel · 26/10/2018 22:39

Sorry, I mean are you intending to put the complaint in?

WhiteDust · 27/10/2018 05:03

He sits at the side of the gym and watches the rest of the class.

Wow. Great use of time there. Are you going to put a complaint in about the P.E. teacher too OP? They're not even attempting to engage him in any alternative activity?

Message to the Art teacher : In future, just don't bother - let them sit at the side of the room and watch.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 27/10/2018 05:46

The class teachers take their class PE, they don't have a specified PE teacher. Not sure what else they could do, they can hardly leave him alone 3 floors away or let him wander around unsupervised!

I will say something. I've written the letter. I spoke to some other parents, one who is on the PTA, all were horrified and have said I need to say something. The PTA one advised to request a meeting with the class teacher first. Unfortunately she didn't work Friday so I've emailed and requested a meeting Monday. I'm stuck if she doesn't answer because I can only go on Monday or Thurs (art again) and I don't want to leave it that long. Glad to see the rumour mill is up and running, half the kids/parents seem to think he broke it because he was pushed off one of the pieces of equipment in the playground by the other kids.

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 27/10/2018 08:00

WhiteDust
Oh give it a rest will you? The child has his arm in a sling what the hell is he supppsed to do in p.e.? He isnt allowed ro run around in play time so why on earth would he be allowed to risk being banged into by kids running around doing p.e.?

Its quite possible to do art if its not your writing hand thats affected if the teacher actually did her job.

Talk about scraping the barrel to get a dig at someone. Grow up.

Lizzie48 · 27/10/2018 08:55

When my DD2 (6) broke her wrist, they had her watching the activities and 'cheer leading'. She loved it. But then, that may not be something that would work for your DS, as he has SEN. My point is that there could be other ways of engaging him in the lesson so he isn't just watching and getting bored?

I'm glad you're getting the support of the PTA, OP. Their advice is good, but you should ask for the SENCO to come, too.

HenryInTheTunnel · 27/10/2018 09:00

In PE where possible, a child not partcipating should be involved. They could keep score, or comment on good or bad technique for instance.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2018 09:18

Unless your school is very unusual, the PTA should not be involved in something like this You should go to the governors.

WhiteDust · 27/10/2018 09:33

Willow: Oh give it a rest will you? The child has his arm in a sling what the hell is he supppsed to do in p.e.?...Grow up

You're obviously not a teacher Willow 
It might come as a surprise to you that P.E. lessons involve a bit more than kicking a ball around.
The school should have in place 'on the sidelines' activities for non participants. Keeping score, playing ref.,skill spotter, quizzes, game sheets etc. etc.
Use your imagination Willow, you might think of a few ideas yourself.
I've never known a non-participator to just sit it out.

Nanny0gg · 27/10/2018 10:36

WhiteDust

You're speaking from a secondary perspective, aren't you?

Sitting on the sidelines, often with a book, is the norm in primary schools.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 27/10/2018 10:46

Unless your school is very unusual, the PTA should not be involved in something like this You should go to the governors.

My mistake, she's on the parent council not PTA, they're not actually the same thing are they Blush. I didn't go directly to her, she overheard me talking to another mum from DC's class and joined in. She also has older DC at the school, and she couldn't believe it. Then muttered "I should have known" when she asked which teacher... At least I know that a couple of other long-standing, respected parents unlike me, new arrival up-start with the "special" child who dares question them who know the school think I should complain.

OP posts:
WhiteDust · 27/10/2018 12:44

NannyOgg: You're speaking from a secondary perspective, aren't you? Sitting on the sidelines, often with a book, is the norm in primary schools.
My DD was unable to take part in P.E. for several months in Year 4 at primary school. She was always given a task to complete.
You're right, I have worked in the Middle school/secondary school environment and from what I see, they do the same.
Back to my original point, Not a good use of time 'sitting on the side' week after week.

Lizzie48 · 27/10/2018 12:52

Which again is a failing on this teacher's part, not the OP's, as she isn't there. As I said, DD2 was involved in cheerleading. Which she loved, but she is NT. But the suggestion of keep score sounds eminently suitable for a child on the spectrum.