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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

371 replies

DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 11:59

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

OP posts:
BloobCurdling · 25/10/2018 14:08

I can totally believe this! When my DC started school I always gave teachers the benefit of the doubt and assumed they knew what they were doing as skilled professionals.

10 years down the line and I have met a lot of fantastic teachers, along with a lot of idiotic, vindictive, ill-informed or generally clueless teachers. Some of them I can't even see how they ever got a degree.

I have never been a big complainer and have let hundreds of idiocies go, I try not to be THAT parent Hmm but I now think it's definitely not true that all teachers are good at their jobs, all teachers have kids' best interests at heart, etc.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/10/2018 14:09

Is the art teacher different to his class teacher?

PavlovaFaith · 25/10/2018 14:10

Crazy. Teachers have a duty of care to their pupils. I wouldn't say that that insisting a child uses an injured body part was demonstrating that duty of care.

I say this a teacher. It's common sense not to presume to know more about an injury than the doctor.

BloobCurdling · 25/10/2018 14:10

Oh and I agree teaching is a hard job, teachers suffer a lot of poor treatment, and don't get great pay. But none of that means it's OK to be shit at the job.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 25/10/2018 14:12

Good grief! This is all ridiculous.

The OP first instinct is to go storming down to the school to complain about the teacher. Not to seek medical advice for her son to make sure the sling-removing object-holding incident hasn't caused damage or further injury. Which tells me the OP knows full well that her DS is absolutely fine. Either that, or she doesn't really care that much about his welfare.

I'm not suggesting that the teacher wasn't entirely in the wrong here. She was. But get a grip and try to prioritise what's important here.

chocolatecoveredraisons · 25/10/2018 14:15

Lots of things wrong with this.

A teacher should adapt their teaching style when SEN children are in the class.

The 1:1 should be well informed of the planning to be able to bullet point for your child.

Was the 1:1 on her lunch when this happened. If not, why were they not supporting your DS.

I would be not drafting a letter, I would be asking to meet with the head and get to the bottom of this. If this teacher is so dismissive of An injury then I would be worried.
Taking a sling off is not using common sense and sounds very humiliating.

(I am a 1:1)

DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 25/10/2018 14:16

I am waiting for a thread about how teachers deal with idiot parents.

corythatwas · 25/10/2018 14:20

Disrespectful, we have plenty of those. We really, really do. Have been on MN for over 10 years and have read loads. Also read many threads where a parent details inappropriate or discriminatory behaviour by a teacher and posters pile in to assure her that this can't possibly have happened and the child must be lying, even several pages after the OP has explained that the school has confirmed the report or she saw it with her own eyes. The bias on MN is not against teachers, I'd say quite far from it. And I speak as the child of teachers and someone who has worked as a teacher myself.

vandrew4 · 25/10/2018 14:24

I don't believe for a moment that anyone would force a child to remove a sling. I'm afraid that just didn't happen

Volant · 25/10/2018 14:26

it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN

Well yes, it's perfectly fair, given that teaching children with SEN is part of the job description.

Volant · 25/10/2018 14:27

vandrew4, have you missed the bit where the school accepted that it did happen?

continuallychargingmyphone · 25/10/2018 14:27

I really hate this about MN. Have we learned nothing from the abuse from past decades?

Sisgal · 25/10/2018 14:29

@anonamouse1 Get real. Teachers are people just like the rest of us, capable of being arseholes .

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 25/10/2018 14:29

Complain, complain, complain. The teach is obliged to change her teaching style to support his learning as long as it is a REASONABLE ADJUSTMENT. Which bullet pointing her instructions is. Go into school ASAP and speak to the head teacher about this and the fact that the teacher is going against the hospitals decisions.

vandrew4 · 25/10/2018 14:30

volant I obviously did!

daffodillament · 25/10/2018 14:38

he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants Disagree strongly with this !! Teachers have a hard enough time as it is without having to teach basic respect too.
not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN. And of course teachers should change their style/differentiate to meet each learners needs. If the child can't actually physically hold an object for the purpose of learning through art then maybe he isn't fit enough to attend school just yet.

HateIsNotGood · 25/10/2018 14:39

The last 2 pages of this thread have been some of the most sensible series of posts that I've read on MN for ages.

Most parents of SEN DC are not anti-teacher, but a by-product of the state educational system is that it very unfortunately 'pits' us against each other - as the PPs clearly describe. Some of Team DS's greatest Allies were Teachers.

However, something else rather more distasteful and insidious that I have found in our 'educational journey' was that the main "idiots" were those 'in charge', who had the 'power', who could have changed things for DS - but not only didn't they help him but they made it worse. But made themselves look better by appearing to be helping him in their 'for the record' explanations of why it didn't 'work out'.

And they (because I can think of 3 right of the top of my head) have side-stepped their way up the career ladder to far higher heights than the many teachers and students they leave behind.

We need to get to this Root of the Problem.

Volant · 25/10/2018 14:40

If the child can't actually physically hold an object for the purpose of learning through art then maybe he isn't fit enough to attend school just yet.

Try putting that one forward as an excuse for non-attendance and see how far you get ...

daffodillament · 25/10/2018 14:42

I am waiting for a thread about how teachers deal with idiot parents
Indeedeee ! Grin

corythatwas · 25/10/2018 14:44

"And of course teachers should change their style/differentiate to meet each learners needs. If the child can't actually physically hold an object for the purpose of learning through art then maybe he isn't fit enough to attend school just yet."

And how do you suppose the school would react if a parent kept her child at home until his wrist had healed so he could hold objects? You don't think they have any attendance targets to meet?

You do realise that parents are fined if their child's attendance drops and that failure to comply can result in a prison sentence?

I have had school threaten me with these measure, and report me to Social Services, when I was unable to get my child into school because she was in too much pain to sit upright. The idea of keeping a child home because they need to wear their wrist in a sling would send headteachers berserk- and I would have some sympathy.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/10/2018 14:47

If the child can't actually physically hold an object for the purpose of learning through art then maybe he isn't fit enough to attend school just yet.

that would surely depend on the lesson, the child may be able to use a computer or laptop for other lessons, but the school may have to find an alternative to art, craft, PE etc.

daffodillament · 25/10/2018 14:50

well....the hustle and bustle of a school day is likely to cause more upset to his broken arm than simply holding an object for the art teacher !

corythatwas · 25/10/2018 14:53

If the child can't actually physically hold an object for the purpose of learning through art then maybe he isn't fit enough to attend school just yet.

And physically disabled children do not, of course, attend school at all. Ever.

You know what I would really like to do? Start a thread claiming that I had come into work with an injury, all ready and prepared to work around it, and my boss had torn off my sling and forced me to use that hand just because- and then wait for all the posters piling on to say "it couldn't possibly be true" and "no boss would ever behave like that" and "why does MN hate bosses so much, don't they realise they are people too?" I'd have quite a wait wouldn't I?

daffodillament · 25/10/2018 14:53

Obvs I don't think child should miss school just think Op's post is way over the top ..insisting he dare not remove sling or hold anything. Ffs..give the school some credit for common sense !

HellenaHandbasket · 25/10/2018 14:54

Go on the Tes and you will see plenty discussing parents. As it is a forum for teachers.

The OP is hardly being an idiot for wanting medical instructions followed. There is also nothing to say that she hasn't had him looked at. And tbh, even if he is unscathed, surely that's not the point?

I've been a teacher, and a governor, and am a parent of a child of a similar age. And each of those hats says that the teacher sounds like an arrogant idiot, and the posters bend over backwards to tell the little mother she is being hysterical and respect the teacher above all else are bandwagon jumpers.

It is perfectly possible to politely refuse requests, and I would encourage my children to politely refuse to follow instructions in a case like this. Regardless of archaic views on 'authority' and "discipline'.