AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

[DaysDragonBy]

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

OP needs to deal with this when she's calmed down, so she doesn't come across as a raving lunatic herself, but the outrage at a suggestion that idiot teachers exist is ridiculous. Of course terrible teachers exist and there are idiots in that profession just as there are everywhere else. To insist otherwise helps no one, not the good teachers and certainly not the children

She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.
fairyliz how do you translate that to taking it off to retie?

OP I would be furious too, about this and the teachers reaction to your request for bullet points. I would take this up this afternoon if this teacher will be with your son tomorrow.

Tbf suggesting the op ask the ta what happened isn’t accusing her son of lying. It’s accepting that lying is a possibility, as is being mistaken and as is the possibility that everything happened entirely as he said. The op may be pretty confident that her son is reporting things correctly if he is generally reliable but there’s no harm in checking.

funny how this thread has turned into people advising OP of what they should've named the thread... helpful

also- nobody is in op's shoes right now and it is clear as a concerned mother she is fuming, so no need to go all 'oh well I wouldn't be so angry and you might get somewhere' as if that would calm OP down.

OP isn't for one minute calling ALL teachers idiotic, people are far too sensitive!

this teacher has clearly got history with OP and whilst this is an isolated incident, is clear they either don't have much patience for this child or they aren't too sympathetic. Either way their actions if true are idiotic, therefore she should be spoken to about it. I would probably find out what happened in detail and then explain that detail in a well worded email to the head. that way it gets sorted properly (hopefully) and doesn't happen again!

hope your son is okay OP

DS was not lying. I have spoken to the teacher.

Deep breath. I am drafting a letter to the head. Will do that then post here and then go back and tone down the letter!

I wouldn't go straight to the Head, I would go to the SENCO. It is their job to ensure SEN provision is correctly in place and adhered to and they may be in charge of the medical/accident care plans as well. If nothing improves you go to the Head. This way you will get more answers in the meeting (the Head will have to find out some of the answers the SENCO will already know) and it shows you are going through the proper channels rather than going straight to the top.

If this is true then you have every right to be furious, but tone it down when dealing with the school.

I work in a school and all staff are constantly briefed on Healthcare/SEN/Safeguarding etc. I can’t think of a single member of staff who would remove a child’s arm from a sling!

Fgs, OP might be angry buy it doesn't mean they are going to be in the school shouting, swearing and throwing things around like a "raging lunatic" people can be angry and still maintain self control.
OP if this is what happened to your DS then you have every right to be bloody angry.
Does anyone remember being at school, I do and I remember some of the idiot teachers and the stupid things they would do. One of my art teachers made a comment to a poor boy in our first year at high school taking the piss out of a physical feature, confront of the whole class. The poor boy cried it was hearbreaking and I still remember the look of embarrassment on that boys face. Some teacher are fucking idiots! The sun doesn't shine out theor arses just because they are teachers.
I also remember slapping a boy and making him clean up dog shit from the floor because he had accidently stepped on it in they playground! She went fucking apeshite at him, he was 7.

OP - I am that anybody other than a medic or a parent would think it's ok to remove a child's sling! Never mind any other issues you may have with this teacher.
When you write your letter- be careful to list the facts. Express how you feel about this, but don't use emotive language - eg 'I feel very angry' and not 'this teacher's an idiot'. Explain what you would like to happen next.
Good luck.

*I also remember another teacher slapping a boy, I didn't slap him!

Dh is a teacher. over the course of his 20 year career he has come across many, many idiot teachers.

This is absolutely unacceptable. I cannot possibly think of any valid reason why a teacher should tell a child in a sling to take to sling off.

I would not be happy.

“it shows you are going through the proper channels rather than straight to the top.”
Who cares?! The child’s wrist could have been permanently damaged because of this teacher’s behaviour.

What did the teacher say about this when you spoke to her, OP?

Because @JaneGottaGun OP doesn't know what happened yet. as previous posters have stated it could be a complete misunderstanding. Or it could be the teacher acted completely wrong and if that is the case then you go to the Head. But it is the SENCOs responsibility that this child's needs are met.

It says alot about some posters on this thread.They are more worried about the thread title,and believing the teacher.Than about a child forced to take his sling off his broken wrist.

Did the teacher didi the ops son was wearing it for a bet.And calling the child a liar.Thats awful.

I hope op you send a strongly worded letter but i would go up and have a word with the teacher involved,and make it absolutley clear she is not to to that again.

Interested to hear what the 'idiot teacher' had to say on the matter OP. I'd be angry too, i just can't see why a teacher would do that.

Don't take the comments about your son potentially lying to heart. What I think most posters are getting at is for you to consider that possibly some of the details given by your son may not be 100% accurate and representative of the actual facts as they happened. That's not saying he's lying, just consider that he may not be the perfect witness.

If you and your child aren't happy, then move them

People who post this sort of nonsense have no idea how the school admission and SEN systems work.

Because @JaneGottaGun OP doesn't know what happened yet. as previous posters have stated it could be a complete misunderstanding.

But she does! See her post 20 minutes before yours, @craftymum01.

So you've spoken to the teacher, OP. What did they say?

One of the few threads that I don't read before responding:

YANBU - and thank god for the internet, because in this case, as OP probably knows, way, way better to vent your spleen here rather than where you instinctively want to. And breathe........

Be as calm and measured as possible OP, you have to be even more so as a parent negotiating the SEN system than the NT Parent majority - it's mainly an 'institutional' discrimination but implemented so personally.

Keep developing a thick skin and you and DS will make it through. Me and DS managed to do it - but only just and because there was only the 2 of us (and the dog) to get through it (and I'm an old crusty) - but it was so fucking hard.

@Volant I see that. mine was written at the same time as OPs. I was just explaining why I had written what I had written

Speaking as someone who has had PLENTIFUL experience of stupid behaviour by school staff endangering a child, I want to add my voice to those urging you to stay very calm, very composed and write the best letter you possibly can. Because this is serious and you want to ensure that things chance. Don't give anyone a reason to stop reading at para 1 because you come across as too irate.

Other than that: interesting to see how long posters carry on posting about "your son's version of the story" and "you need to speak to the teacher first" after the OP has already confirmed that she has indeed spoken to the teacher and her son's account was accurate.

I would be really annoyed at this, although my standard phrase in these sort of situations is something like ‘ I’m concerned to hear that ds has said that....’

it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN

What??!! Umm, that's their job: to teach everyone in the class. (and summarising her instructions seems pretty basic practice that would benefit everyone anyway, but that's hardly the point).

Teachers are just people, but if they dont have the common sense not to insist a pupil use their broken arm they should not be teaching.

This. ^

YANBU OP. But you absolutely must NEVER criticise teachers on here. And I agree with a pp that you should not be told 'move him to another school then!' if you are not happy. Such a dumb remark that is! The teacher will still be there, treating other pupils like this... This teacher needs dealing with.

Obviously this needs sorting, so you need to make an appointment to see the Head Teacher.

Not all teachers are useless idiots of course, but I get sick of this attitude (from some!) that they cannot do a thing wrong.