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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

371 replies

DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 11:59

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

OP posts:
Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 21:28

Ok, I'm stuck. Anyone want to proof-read a letter?

OP posts:
RebelWitchFace · 25/10/2018 21:30

The weaselling this afternoon is more reason to complain than the actual incident which could be genuinely seen as a mistake/miscommunication.

BewareOfDragons · 25/10/2018 21:31

She did lie: she removed his sling, and admitted doing so when OP went in. Later, on the phone, she said she hadn't, adjusted her story just enough to seem more reasonable.

And she did threaten OP, with her assertions that it was unfair to complain and would cause bad blood between OP/Child and the teacher(s) ... which is bollocks ... and a threat.

Thisreallyisafarce · 25/10/2018 21:33

BewareOfDragons

Plenty of times, I have "changed my story" when relating an incident. It doesn't mean I am lying. It is easy to remember wrongly when under stress.

Secondly, they are not threats, nor would an employment tribunal view them as such.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 25/10/2018 21:40

I will.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 25/10/2018 21:42

They could be perceived as threats. And certainly that aspect would be given consideration by any disciplinary panel.

Thisreallyisafarce · 25/10/2018 21:46

bananasandwicheseveryday

They could only be perceived as threats by a person with an uncommon definition of the word "threat". It is unreasonable to hold a person responsible for another person's poor command of English.

KingBee · 25/10/2018 21:55

I have broken my arm 3 times and my dcs have broken their arms 3 each too times too - mostly greenstick but once a very severe break, with surgery pins and nerve damage - never have any of us ever been ordered not to take a sling off for 3 weeks! Maybe keep the sling on most of the time for a few days but that was it. We couldn't fly for the first few days, couldn't do PE for everyone else's safety - they encouraged all of us to use our broken arms as much as possible to keep things mobile and strong, the advice you've been given sounds wrong- I would be questioning the doctors advice - it sounds like the doctor has given you very odd advice.

Lizzie48 · 25/10/2018 22:09

@Thisreallyisafarce

No they weren't actual threats, but I would be very uncomfortable if a teacher approached me in that way under those circumstances. (And, as my DD2 had a broken wrist, I can put myself in the OP's position very easily.)

At the very least, it was very unprofessional behaviour.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 22:12

He hasn't broken his arm, he has broken his wrist.
I am not a doctor so am happy to follow the advice we were given by the A&E doctor, our doctor and the doctor we saw at the hospital when he went for the check-up x-ray.
At the risk of repeating myself, I never said he was told not to take the sling off for 3 weeks. I said We were advised that he doesn't take his sling off at school. Which is all that concerns the teachers. At home I can monitor him that he doesn't pick anything up. Due to his ASD the doctors and I decided it was easier for him to enforce a clear boundary and be simpler on the teachers. Sling always at school, he can take it off at home.

OP posts:
KingBee · 25/10/2018 22:17

Well when I said "arm" there were a few wrists involved and a thumb and a finger and yet still we were not advised to immobilise and joints that could be moved with pain - in fact the advice we were given was the complete opposite!

Thisreallyisafarce · 25/10/2018 22:18

Lizzie48

Agreed. Hardly a sackable offence, though. She'll probably get told off for not handling the situation better.

Thisreallyisafarce · 25/10/2018 22:19

I've broken my wrist in more than one place and was advised to move it as little as possible for several weeks too, just to be fair.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/10/2018 22:20

I doubt this happened exactly how your son has said. I don’t know any teacher who would remove a child’s sling... Hmm

BishopBrennansArse · 25/10/2018 22:21

Shame an arm isn't the same thing as a wrist then, King 

Lizzie48 · 25/10/2018 22:32

@PurpleFlower1983

Except that the teacher agreed that she had done what the OP's DS said she had done. There's no dispute about that. The only issue is whether she should reasonably have known that the sling shouldn't be removed.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 25/10/2018 22:46

@Thisreallyisafarce

I think the mention of the potential breakdown of the school/home relationship the OP chooses to make a complaint could certainly be seen as a threat. Insulting the parent's 'command of English! says more about you than her.
I am normally very pro-teacher. I work on a school and Co e from a family with a high percentage of teachers, including my own dc. I know how hard most of them work and the lengths they go to in order to do the best they can for their students. But in this case the teacher was wrong and her approach to the OP has made it worse, imo.

As for whoever said there is no evidence, I have been on disciplinary panels where the evidence has been mostly statements by witnesses to certain behaviours. That evidence is taken seriously. A good HT will investigate and give weight to those statements when deciding how far to pursue it.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 22:50

Thanks King, but I'm still going take the advice of the three doctors who have seen DS and his X-rays over an internet random who admits to mixing up thumbs, fingers and wrists with arms Grin

I am going to sleep on it. DH is looking for a new house Confused

OP posts:
Tiredtomybones · 25/10/2018 23:09

Yabu

Lizzie48 · 25/10/2018 23:15

@Tiredtomybones

There are too many posters who just say 'YABU' without actually justifying why. This isn't nearly as clear cut as other AIBU threads, so I think you should at least explain why you think the OP is unreasonable.

KingBee · 25/10/2018 23:17

From the NHS website but I'm sure your doctors are the experts, hope your ds makes a full and quick recovery - and gets what looks like some much needed physio after the 3 weeks is up!

"Recovering from a broken arm or wrist"

Your cast will need to stay on until the broken bone has healed. This usually takes a month or two, but can take longer if the break was severe.

While your arm is in a cast:

avoid putting weight or strain on the arm – don't stop moving it completely, but avoid activities such as carrying anything heavy, driving and sports."

Volant · 25/10/2018 23:21

The teacher may be an idiot, but I don't think 'how dare she not listen to a 7 year old' is the best way to go here.

I definitely don't think "Teachers should ignore a 7 year old with a recently broken arm in a cast and a sling who tells them he's not allowed to take the sling off" is the best way to go here.

She should not be expected to infer it when it is this important to the OP.

She doesn't have to infer it. The child in question was telling her. That combined with the recently broken arm, cast and sling constituted enough information to tell the teacher that, at the very least, she should check before insisting on having her own way.

Volant · 25/10/2018 23:24

I doubt this happened exactly how your son has said. I don’t know any teacher who would remove a child’s sling.

This teacher admitted to it, Purpleflower1983/

Tunnocks34 · 25/10/2018 23:25

I actually would complained, and I am a teacher. Despite the fact most teachers are brilliant, there are some absolute nobends still un the profession.

  1. she should never have taken his sling off
  2. if she knows he has any sort of SEN she should always adapt her teaching style to aid his learning - it’s called differentiation and it’s a big part of what we’re trained to do
  3. she shouldn’t be trying to put you off taking this further either. How unprofessional. She should have apologised to you and taken on board your concerns.

I don’t think she should be sacked, but there is something that needs to be learnt here.

musicalmama · 25/10/2018 23:54

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