Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

371 replies

DaysDragonBy · 25/10/2018 11:59

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

OP posts:
WhiteDust · 26/10/2018 08:17

His TA is allocated to him for 6 hours a week. That means she cannot be present in every lesson.

So, whoever is in charge of pastoral care is to blame. Why are they sending him to a practical subject (Art) if he is unable to participate? The fact that he is there, on his own, in the lesson, gives the impression that he is able to participate independently.

Your argument is with school's pastoral team & TA for:
A) not providing adequate support in Art under the circumstances (broken wrist)
and
B) Sending a child unsupported into a lesson he cannot participate in independently.

Volant · 26/10/2018 08:37

You know what, Thisreallyisafarce, I don't come on threads to discuss things with you. This may come as a surprise to you, but that is not what MN is for. I have no wish to engage with someone who drags in stuff from other threads and misrepresents them. I am however entitled to comment on any points in any posts that I feel call for comments.

Volant · 26/10/2018 08:43

If the teacher is asking the TA to repeat and go over instructions with the one student who doesn't understand her, what she seems to be doing is using time effectively in the classroom

Not when the TA only arrives half way through the lesson.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 26/10/2018 08:54

Ah fuck! (Ducky? spell check, really???)

DH doesn't want me to complain because it won't make things better for DS.

OP posts:
Teaonthelawn · 26/10/2018 08:58

I can't understand why people are still discussing this nonsense at 8.00 the following day.

Willow2017 · 26/10/2018 08:58

God this thread is tiresome.
Posters ignoring op saying

  1. He is not to use his hand at all on drs advice.
"But i know better he should throw off his sling and get on with it"
  1. He only gets 6hrs 1;1 a week.
"But he has 1:1 and should know everything about the lesson every lesson because he has 1:1" (And not understanding double periods)
  1. Teachers have admitted they do.not make any consideration to him understanding the work he is expected to do.
"1:1 should explain each and every lesson to him" They arent there!!!! And its the teachers job!

Making assumptions that op lets him use his hand at home when clearly she doesnt.

Ffs rtft people and stop trying to blame op for something the teacher did and has admitted and is now trying to intimidate op.into not complaining about her. Its not difficult to see the threat there
"If you complain your sons teacher pupil relationship/your school relationship will suffer" thats very unprofessional and blatent intimidation.

Happens every single time a teacher is criticised on here. Despite the fact good professionnsl teachers on here are backing op there are always posters who would defend teachers right up to the bitter end as they can do no wrong.

Well yes they can and plenty of us can verify that. It doesnt need a teaching degree (obviously that isnt enough in some cases) to know to leave a sling in place and not force a child to use a broken limb.

Op hope you get satisfaction at your meeting. Do mention teacher trying to 'persuade' you not to complain. Thats appaling behaviour. Ask why teachers are not being inclusive of your child. Seems like they are failing all round.

Xenia · 26/10/2018 09:09

It is not easy for teachers and I don't think it is fair to call the teacher an idiot teacher or say they are all ( or should it be teachers who are idiots? but I think not idiot teachers. We need a teacher good on adjectives to step in on the thread title issue).

Nanny0gg · 26/10/2018 09:09

So, whoever is in charge of pastoral care is to blame. Why are they sending him to a practical subject (Art) if he is unable to participate? The fact that he is there, on his own, in the lesson, gives the impression that he is able to participate independently. Your argument is with school's pastoral team & TA for:
A) not providing adequate support in Art under the circumstances (broken wrist)
and
B) Sending a child unsupported into a lesson he cannot participate in independently.

Um. You do understand how school funding (and especially SEN funding works, yes?
He will be sent to the lesson with the rest of his class because otherwise, where do you suggest he goes? Whether he can participate or not.

Nanny0gg · 26/10/2018 09:10

God this thread is tiresome

As are many threads.

If at least all OP's threads were automatically highlighted there might be fewer reasons for not understanding what's going on...

Oblomov18 · 26/10/2018 09:13

The teacher phoned on the mobile. Op has no evidence to confirm what teacher said. No witnesses.
I fear any complaint will just be pushed under the carpet and watered down till there is nothing.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 26/10/2018 09:14

And maybe, I mean who knows because they've never tried to find out, maybe if he knew what he had to do, he would be able to participate.

He can do craft stuff at home so I see no real reason why he couldn't it at school. The preceding sentence refers to when he doesn't have a broken wrist, before I'm jumped on for letting him do craft at home and not at school

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 09:25

Volant

I didn't say you weren't entitled to comment, did I? I said I am entitled to decline to discuss it with you.

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 09:28

blatent intimidation.

Willow, I am not defending teachers at all costs at all (I have repeatedly said, the woman sounds like an idiot) but it isn't "blatant intimidation". This language isn't helping the issue.

Willow2017 · 26/10/2018 10:11

DS was playing on the other side of the playground with DD and he laughed with DD. She said "Look how he enjoys the conflict between us, how he's trying to play you off against me"

it would destroy the trust between us and the school if we point out any errors that they make.

That it's not fair on class teacher and TA if I complain

She repeated about how it would cause bad blood

All of the above was said to trt to persuade op not to make a complaint about a serious matter.

The teacher admitted what she had done, admits sje makes no allowance for ds's sn. Admits that a misteaks happened and yet op is not supposed to complain about them without consequences for her ds and herself?

Warning op off from complaining. Victim blaming.

What would you call it then?

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 10:12

All of the above was said to trt to persuade op not to make a complaint about a serious matter.

I call it what you just called it. I just don't call it intimidation, because that is something else.

dustarr73 · 26/10/2018 10:44

@DaysDragonBy i think in this case i would complain even when your dh doesnt want you too.

Its a good time to have the teacher explain her comments and why she doesnt bother with your son in Art.

You have to follow through,its for your sons benefit

Miscible · 26/10/2018 10:47

Happens every single time a teacher is criticised on here. Despite the fact good professionnsl teachers on here are backing op there are always posters who would defend teachers right up to the bitter end as they can do no wrong.

This.

Miscible · 26/10/2018 10:49

The pastoral team doesn't normally allocate 1:1s for children with SEN, it would be the SEN team. If a child only has six hours 1:1, I would expect that normally to be allocated to more heavy duty lessons than art. The fact that it was thought necessary in this case suggests that the school is aware that the art teacher isn't supporting OP's son properly.

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 10:54

Miscible

That isn't the case at all. It may simply reflect the child's individual needs.

Miscible · 26/10/2018 11:11

If this child needs a 1:1 in art but she isn't there at the beginning of the lesson, the teacher should be taking appropriate steps to differentiate till the 1:1 turns up. She certainly shouldn't ignore a child who tells her that the doctor has said he mustn't take his sling off.

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 11:14

Miscible

I agree, and haven't said otherwise. Within reason, of course she needs to try to differentiate, IF the TA only arrives after the first hour.

However, as I think it is also the situation that this child never participates in Art, even when the TA explains the instructions (correct me if I am wrong, OP) any attempt the teacher does make to explain again may not help either.

She definitely does need to try, though.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 26/10/2018 11:23

it is also the situation that this child never participates in Art, even when the TA explains the instructions

No, that's not the case. He does participate when TA is present. He must be doing something judging by the masterpieces which come home Grin

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 11:24

DaysDragonBy

Right, I see. Then the issue seems to be that what he needs is 1-2-1. The teacher should explain the instructions again to him, 1-2-1, in the first hour, but what he really needs is a TA.

flumpybear · 26/10/2018 11:40

Not RTFT as it's long, however, broken wrist is common. My DS had one earlier this year. After the permanent plaster was on a few days after the fall the consultant said to use the hand, if not painful, only bother with sling if painful. When cast was off then no PE for 10-14 days
My 6 year old (just) was happily writing, drawing etc with hand

So is this a case of you being a bit precious, being a drama llama or did you get different guidelines 🙄

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 26/10/2018 12:13

Thanks for your sterling contribution to my drama llama-ness. Strangely, I'm still going to take the advice of the three doctors who have, you know, seen my son and his X-rays.

OP posts: