AIBU to ask you how to deal with idiot teachers?

[DaysDragonBy]

Fuming right now. Had all sorts of shit from the school, but this takes the biscuit. DS has broken his wrist. It is in a cast and in a sling. He is under instructions from the doctor not to hold anything in his affected hand for three weeks. He is not to take the sling off at school.

His teacher knows this. His TA knows this. He has SN - ADHD and ASD.

He had art today. The art teacher told him to hold something in his hand. He said he couldn't. She took his fucking sling off and made him hold it in his hand with the broken wrist whilst he did something to it with the other hand.

I am absolutely furious, he said he told her he wasn't allowed to and she told him he has to anyway. Half way through the class his TA came in and took it off him thank god. But why the fuck do teachers think they know better than the injured child? I've told him, if anyone ever says that to him again whilst he has his cast on, he is to refuse, be as rude and he wants and tell them to call me.

In the interests of honesty, there is a bit of conflict with the school over this teacher at the moment.
It is the same teacher who has a tendency to waffle when giving instructions and complains when DS can't follow. When I requested that she made a bullet point summary at the end of her instructions I was told it is not fair to expect teachers to change their teaching style because one child in the class has SN.

corythatwas

You might expect common sense. You can't discipline someone for not having it. There are processes in schools that are supposed to protect children, in the event that someone makes this sort of mistake. Those processes failed in this case.

"I am not responsible for dealing with children who have accidents or who are taken ill. That's what First Aid is for."

My point was, First Aid won't come unless the teacher calls them. And what we know of this teacher doesn't suggest that she would allow them to be called. If an arm in a plaster cast isn't enough of a signal for her, why are we to believe she would know to call First Aid for a broken arm or a child with a sudden temperature?

Surely as a headteacher you can firmly tell a teacher that "Plaster cast means X" without going as far as formal disciplinary?

corythatwas

Sure, you could tell her. I'd suggest, next time, that's what the HT should do when there is a non-negotiable medical requirement for a child not to move a limb.

@Thisreallyisafarce
The child has a cast and a sling.He didnt do it himself,its not a fashion statement.

The sensible thing to do would be err on the side of caution.She should have believed him and asked the head later themselves.

corythatwas

She might not know. We rely on common sense in many situations, but we can't discipline people for lacking in a bit of it, when the information needed has not been passed on. You give the example of a sudden temperature. Honestly, if we don't give teachers first aid training, we are relying on them knowing to call for assistance if a child feels very hot. Fine. But if they don't, that's not a disciplinary offence, because they were never trained to do it.

dustarr73

I agree that she should have done that. I just don't agree that they can do anything about it when they failed to meet their own legal obligation to make her aware.

When I took DS back at lunch I saw the music teacher (M) and asked her if it was possible to speak to the Art teacher (A). She said she thought she was upstairs and would take me to her. I asked M if she knew about DS and she immediately said yes, he mustn't use his hand.

DS has never complained about A and not understanding her. We do know that he often doesn't join in in art because after we had a SENCO meeting, I had an individual meeting with the TA and she mentioned that whenever she gets to art class he is wandering around, but never doing what he is supposed to be doing.

It just so happens that a couple of days before was my DD's parents' information evening and A is now my DD's Friday teacher. I had never met or spoken to A before. At the parents evening she stood up to introduce herself, explain what she teaches, how she will teach. It was then as I stifled a yawn that I suddenly twigged that this might be the reason why DS doesn't interact in art.

I asked the TA if anyone had ever asked DS if he knew what he had to do. She said she didn't think so. Because she's late to the class she sits with him and chivvies him along in a "do this, now do that" way. I asked if TA knew how the instructions were given in class - she didn't exactly because she is never there for the beginning of the lesson. So I said I'd read an article about giving instructions to ADHD children where it advises that the teacher summarise the main points afterwards. I asked if I could send her the article and if it could be mentioned to the teacher. This is when I was told about not being able to expect teachers to change their teaching methods.

So, from my side, it's not just the failure of communication about the wrist. It's also a failure in communication about ways of trying to involve him in the class. I still cannot comprehend why, if you have a child who doesn't join in, the first response is not to ask the child if they have understood what they have to do. But hey, what do I know? I'm not a teacher.

And we had exactly this with the Year 1 teacher. Exactly this issue. Around February, after numerous complaints about him not joining in I thought to ask the teacher if she had ever asked him if he had understood what he had to do. Baffled look. Why would I need to do that? He could simply copy what the others are doing.

As to the specialist school, he is not "badly affected enough" to receive a place.

They failed their own obligations, yes.

But she also lied about it ... changed her story ... and this needs to be reported, too.

If i were to take everything you said at face value,her attitude screams arse covering to me. Minimising,blaming your DS, claiming it's a ploy to pitch you against each other,gaslighting and emotional blackmail over how much work and care other people put into him.

I'd talk to the head, not just about this incident but because she also tried to convince you not to complain. That's unprofessional and ill advised at best. I wouldn't be happy.

DaysDragonBy

But the TA explains the instructions to him. That's what the TA is there to do, to meet his needs so that the teacher can keep teaching.

Your comment about stifling a yawn suggests that the teacher was boring you. That may be less than ideal, but it isn't about a lack of clarity.

BewareOfDragons

She lied? Well, I didn't see that she did. If she did, then yes, that is unprofessional.

Does he have a SEN assistant - a TA and teacher serve the whole class - does he have a one to one

Thisreallyisafarce
He gets 6 hours 1-1 a week.
The TA is not there to explain the instructions because she is not there at the start of the lesson.

My comment about stifling a yawn was a comment on how I perceived the teacher to be waffling. Saying what she is going to say, saying why she is going to say it, saying it, saying what she said and why she said it, rather than just saying it. For a child who has ADHD and who needs simple clear instructions, that is a nightmare to follow. And a lightbulb moment for me as to why he is not engaging with art class.

DaysDragonBy

But then the TA does come in, does understand what the students are doing, does help him, yes?

And we had exactly this with the Year 1 teacher. Exactly this issue. Around February, after numerous complaints about him not joining in I thought to ask the teacher if she had ever asked him if he had understood what he had to do. Baffled look. Why would I need to do that? He could simply copy what the others are doing.

No, there's no poor teachers around, are there?

It’s all the teachers on here who have anger issues. Why all the abuse? It’s quite frightening that those people are teaching our kids.

I don’t get the personal phone thing. I use mine. I only phone a parent when the school has agreed to it. I don’t have an outside line in my room. The office are very busy and I might need to call half a dozen parents (eg about homework). Why is using my phone (at my expense) different to calling from a work phone? I don’t keep the parents numbers afterwards. I suppose they might keep mine but I have never had a call back.

I just avoid the staff room, to be honest.

I use mine, as well. I withhold my number.

My school expects frequent calls home about all sorts of things.
Sometimes I have to do it from home or between lessons. I can't go to the staff room every time, and not can every other teacher in the school.

You know what OP, you need to get this in writing to the Head (and governors).

List everything DS told you and include you following up with art teacher after the fact. Tell the head what she said to you about not needing to take it further.

To be direct and unfeeling if she loses her job it’s not your problem. Your son’s education and welfare is.

So send that letter. Stuff being nice.

"just altered it's positioning so his hand was free to hold something."

And yet school have been told that the sling must stay on & he must not hold anything in that hand>>

There are some really "helpful" comments on here aren't there op?

I would say (as someone who advises schools) request an immediate meeting with the head & write down everything that has happened today including the call from the teacher and the discussion after school. Provide head with a copy.

At your meeting just request an explanation for what happened to him and why that was allowed to happen & why your child was not kept safe at school.

I would expect the school to investigate and give you an explanation once they have done so.

I would also expect you not to see that teacher again after half term after threatening you to force you not to complain about her.

In my view removing the sling and hitting something ds was holding in that hand is absolutely idiotic and nobody should need training to realise that. As for the threat, well that is on another level entirely and that would be the gross misconduct in my view.

You have to protect ds. That's the reason for your complaint but do it face to face with written back up.

That head and the governors should be taking action pronto imo.

I would also expect you not to see that teacher again after half term after threatening you to force you not to complain about her.

This is an example of how hyperbole can be damaging. The teacher in jo way "threatened" the OP.

Furthermore, you can't just make the teacher swim with the fishes. There would need to be an investigation, with evidence that the teacher threatened the OP. Which she didn't.

You know what the most stupid thing is? If she had just left it at lunch time, I would probably have cursed on here a bit more, bashed out a therapy letter to the head, talked to DH and in the end shrugged my shoulders, not sent it, bitched again about the yet more nonsense from the school and accepted her assurance it wouldn't happen again.

The weaselling this afternoon, however, has really got my goat.