Is my cleaner taking the piss?

[hazykates]

So - I'm a maths teacher - my cleaner (a much needed luxury as I'm a messy bint) asked if I could tutor her little girl who's struggling at school. I'm mad busy with work and family life but I'm also pretty terrible at saying no and like our cleaner a lot (she's really good!!!) so I said yes! I wasn't expecting her to pay, if the tutoring went on for more than a few sessions I thought I might ask for reciprocal payment if the subject was raised (she could clean for the hour I tutor her child for example). As things have turned out she hasn't ever offered anything in reciprocation for the favour, she's consistently late for the lesson without apology, and was downright rude when I had to rearrange the other day as my little girl was ill and my husband away. I'm loathe to say I can't do it anymore as think she'd have the hump and it took me so long to find a cleaner that works for us - but I can't help but feel a bit pissed off about feeling like she's taking advantage! AIBU?!

Janus- the ring doorbell has a motion sensor and records anyone approaching the door

Make sure you let the site moderator on that Facebook page know she's not to be recommended on that group page anymore!

OP - if anything else happens, what was the advice from the police? Surely, them going to see her if anything else happens.

I have the cheaper ring doorbell on front and back (my house has an odd layout so both accessible) and it’s great! The motion detectors can be set to a certain distance and the picture is decent quality. Only problem I’ve had is that the family of magpies that live in my garden keep flying at the shiny lense and setting the alerts off

I’d definitely recommend them!

I wouldn't mind betting she has a criminal record already.

I know this is an upsetting time for you OP and what your ex-cleaner has done is hideous, but I am seriously in danger of getting the sack if see one more reference to "log it"...

Have to say I'd go back to the forum where she was recommended and post what she's done. Mentioning that you've reported her to the police and will take it further if anything else happens (in case she reads it)

Oh my word, I can't believe what I've just read! 
What a bloody cheeky mare and bloody unhinged to boot!
You handled it all superbly though 

Make sure you let the site moderator on that Facebook page know she's not to be recommended on that group page anymore!

I agree with this. Or, actually, I'd tell the moderator all the facts and give the police ref number so they know it's real and serious. They can make the decision as to how to deal with it.

Can’t believe I’m the only person sniggering at everyone saying “log it” 💩

YuhBasic - No I did too

The motion sensor on the doorbell is very funny too.

OP If you fit the doorbell yourself and don't have a stepladder, you could always stand on a stool.

How appalling - of her.

Please don't feel guilty about having a cleaner. There is nothing wrong with having one, or being one. It was nice of you to tutor her DD for free, but completely reasonable of you to not do it for free forever. So she's a poor single mother. That doesn't give her any right to expect free services from you, or to be rude. I'm glad to hear that you've changed the locks. She sounds quite deranged.

Take a deep breath and look for another cleaner. I've had several and not one has been rude or a CF. Most are perfectly fine. Always get references you can call though.

Good luck!

Time for CCTV on the front of your house IMO
I need to get this at mine.

I'm so sorry things have taken such a nasty turn; if she had just taken a step back, she could have seen the value of your kind offer - what a bargain! I have done similar "skill swap" favours for friends, but they were always appreciative (as indeed I was!) and knew that the arrangement was mutually beneficial!
Let's hope that the PP who suggested that she will move on to the next grievance soon is guessing right, although I wouldn't wish her wrath on anybody.......
Although the police have stretched resources, it is still worth logging this; they won't tell you, but she may have "form" for this, and you are helping to build up a profile.
I feel very sorry for her DD, but if she does fetch up at your school next year, it might be advisable to have a discreet word with the head, or whoever oversees setting and timetables, that it might be kinder not to put the child in a set which you teach. The speed with which she has gone from 0 - 100 makes me suspect that other teachers in the past have had similar bruising encounters.

/the motion detectors can be set to a certain distance and the picture quality is decent/ I am so glad I logged in today!

Are you sure?

The kind of person who is meticulous about cleaning and cares enough about her child’s maths level to organise tutoring, doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would post dog shit through a letterbox.

I don’t know where in London you live (builder married to a Maths teacher in a school with ‘houses’ that isn’t fee paying, given your ex-cleaner’s child (who says she can’t afford to trade cleaning/tutoring services with you) might be your pupil next year), but dog shit through a letterbox is serious stuff.

Something’s not right.

Things have moved along at a very alarming paxe

Pace, even

Blimey that escalated quickly!

Yeah that what I said upthread.. unbelievable really!

Just got home from an afternoon out with the kids and all well back at the ranch! Was massively nervous about opening the door, but now we're in and warm and fed all the worry feels faintly silly. She's obviously bonkers but a couple of texts and a bit of poo is hardly homicidal!

7salmonsswimming I find your post a bit weird and judgy! I’m fully aware of how weird the situation is - that’s what I’ve found so shocking. I massively misjudged this woman - I liked her - she was definitely really good at her job, and whenever we interacted (during the holidays normally) she was always really chatty. Yes in hindsight - she was probably a bit too over familiar, and I’m also not sure how much the tutoring was out of concern for the daughter - more about what she could get from someone (if you know what I mean) There is no way I anticipated her reaction yesterday, but I suppose something about her manner (rudeness / expectancy) unsettled me which is why I posted on here!
I REALLY don’t know what you mean about the strangeness of me being married to a builder!!!! I never said my school has houses - it doesn’t! Although plenty of Academies (which mine is) do nowadays! I’m not telling you where in london I live but you’re obviously not a Londoner - it’s very possible for me to live within a few streets of someone who’s struggling a bit more financially.
Thank you everyone who’ve offered advice - it’s been hugely comforting to know I’m not going a bit mad myself. The rest of you - in the nicest possible way - can sod off!

7salmonswimming I don't think the op made a reference to a school with houses, but that she said she lives in a small house

And I just keep thinking about her poor children. I can’t actually believe this is happening.

Yes, the poor, poor children. Neither can I really.

And then I take a step back and think i’m massively overreacting and just ignore it and get on with my life

Probably best.