Is my cleaner taking the piss?

[hazykates]

So - I'm a maths teacher - my cleaner (a much needed luxury as I'm a messy bint) asked if I could tutor her little girl who's struggling at school. I'm mad busy with work and family life but I'm also pretty terrible at saying no and like our cleaner a lot (she's really good!!!) so I said yes! I wasn't expecting her to pay, if the tutoring went on for more than a few sessions I thought I might ask for reciprocal payment if the subject was raised (she could clean for the hour I tutor her child for example). As things have turned out she hasn't ever offered anything in reciprocation for the favour, she's consistently late for the lesson without apology, and was downright rude when I had to rearrange the other day as my little girl was ill and my husband away. I'm loathe to say I can't do it anymore as think she'd have the hump and it took me so long to find a cleaner that works for us - but I can't help but feel a bit pissed off about feeling like she's taking advantage! AIBU?!

Poo can contain shed dna cells actually.

www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/dog-owners-beware-dna-dog-poop-could-used-track-you-down-180958596/

I would look to get an external camera as well - one withgood night vision - nest cameras are very good and they send an alert to your mobile phone if there is movement and you can view t the camera picture anytime through the app - it would honestly be worth the money in the long run because she may escalate and cause damage to your property - at least with cctv you can prove who it is.

Re dna testing on dog poo - it’s not going to happen police don’t have the resources nor the power to take the dna from the dog and what would that prove anyway? Doesn’t prove who actually did the act of the criminal damage of posting it through the letter box .

Make sure you block her on all all social media and phones number etc and have no further contact with her . If she continues then you are looking at harassment. Police may issue a PIN (police information notice ) in the first instance to warn her off and it will basically say if she does anything else she may be arrested.

If further instances you’d also be looking at getting a restraining order but that is further down the line .

Contacting the police is definitely the best idea though as it’s all logged now.

She sounds unhinged and glad you are getting ge locks changed

Wow this all escalated quickly!

I know! It's less than 48 hours since the OP was wondering whether her cleaner might be taking the piss, and look at what's happened since then! 

Interesting article, but does it depend on the owner doing their own stabbing. I could see all sorts of opportunities to use a ringer dog, so the actual dog could go on pinning with impunity.

Just had a thought, no proof that the poo actually came from the cleaner's dog, it might have been a friend or relative's dog, or even some random random poo picked off the street. May be the cleaner is brighter than everyone is giving her credit.

Swabbing ffs. I am not suggesting anyone should stab a dog!

To think all the drama could have been avoided by just saying a simple "No, I don't actually tutor in my spare time". Next time keep things polite but professional and people are less likely to overstep.

May be the cleaner is brighter than everyone is giving her credit.

I somehow doubt that. 

Lol at the people ready to DNA test the dog poo.

@hazykates I have some professional experience with people who behave like this. You mentioned that she has a lot of stories in which she is the victim in a conflict. The good news is that people like this often bounce from one conflict to the next, blow up a relationship and then move on to another. Today it's you, but likely she will be focused on someone else instead soon enough.

Agree with getting at least a fake camera over your door. What a nasty thing to do

Wow - i often think on mumsnet people are too quick to say phone the police but it needed doing here. Vile woman.

To be fair to you @SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst you did try warn people OP that things might escalate after the cleaner was blocked.
You also pointed out the similarity between this and the nonsense worrying developments on the softplayzilla threads.

And of course the police force can afford to test dna of dog poo, ridiculous to suggest they can't!
Call the police OP !

This is disgusting, what a horrible, horrible thing to do!!

I'm so sad for you OP, you were so kind to her and her dd.

She should never get away with what she just did.

What was the latest on softplayzilla?

I have rtfs but can't remember? Did you hire her though an agency? Are they aware?

To be fair to you @SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst you did try warn people OP that things might escalate after the cleaner was blocked

My powers of precognition are AMAZING. If only I could find a way to use them to bring about world peace. 🤔

What was the latest on softplayzilla?

Her husband left her, so she had to take a job in domestic services, I believe.

No, get a real camera, you don't want to start faking stuff.

@SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst can you imagine if it were true 😂

I'm sorry that you tried to do a nice thing and it has totally backfired.

If anybody hits you with the tutoring question in the future that you take pity on, maybe have a prepared answer aka i can give you 2 free sessions and then it'll cost x or whatever you want to offer.

no, get a real camera, you don't want to start faking stuff

good lord OP.. she is unstable .. and her behaviour disgusting... I hope the Police do call in on her and tell her to stay the hell away...

Thanks everyone! Much calmer. Recorded the events with the police in case anything else happens but asked them not to visit her. I just think it will keep the fire burning - and like a PP said - it feels like she's got the kind of personality who will soon find a different target for her rage. Will chalk it all up to bad experience and try not to waste any more time angsting about it all. Now going to get our with the kids and enjoy what's left of half term!

Isn’t the doorbell thing only going to work if she rings the doorbell? Or is it just you don’t want to answer the door to her? Seems to me you may need to get cctv too.
As you say though, thank his you changed the locks. I’d put plastic on the inside of the door/floor incase she’s stupid enough to do it tomorrow morning too? Maybe she walks her dog early and will save anything that comes out.

For those that asked - she was recommended on a fb mums forum type thing - so no not from an agency. I've not wanted to go through agencies before as I wanted the cleaner to get all the money but will definitely do that now!

Omg that’s another level crazy.

I know I’ve been critisizing the use of language, but it’s not personal. I do think you dealt with it well

And for those that are wondering there was definitely no talk from the police of testing the poo for any match! (Not that we kept it!!!!)