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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my cleaner taking the piss?

585 replies

hazykates · 24/10/2018 19:16

So - I'm a maths teacher - my cleaner (a much needed luxury as I'm a messy bint) asked if I could tutor her little girl who's struggling at school. I'm mad busy with work and family life but I'm also pretty terrible at saying no and like our cleaner a lot (she's really good!!!) so I said yes! I wasn't expecting her to pay, if the tutoring went on for more than a few sessions I thought I might ask for reciprocal payment if the subject was raised (she could clean for the hour I tutor her child for example). As things have turned out she hasn't ever offered anything in reciprocation for the favour, she's consistently late for the lesson without apology, and was downright rude when I had to rearrange the other day as my little girl was ill and my husband away. I'm loathe to say I can't do it anymore as think she'd have the hump and it took me so long to find a cleaner that works for us - but I can't help but feel a bit pissed off about feeling like she's taking advantage! AIBU?!

OP posts:
Boofay · 26/10/2018 09:32

Shocking! I can't believe a "cleaning professional" would post shit through someone's door.
Another vote for logging this with the police. This is a crime and a nasty one too.
I'm also pretty sure they could work out if the dog poo is her dog's, as my council keep threatening dog owners who don't pick up after their dogs with this fact.

Im sorry you're going through this, OP. Sounds like you're well rid of this person. 

cheesefield · 26/10/2018 09:37

Yep, call the police. Tell them everything and show them all of the messages between you.

And buy a discreet cctv camera today for the front of your house.

ciderhouserules · 26/10/2018 09:41

Police, def.

They will take it seriously - and although there may be no 'proof', doesn't take much to see a succession of her batshit into actual shit.

They might have a word. They might just 'log it'. Either way, get a cctv camera set up asap.

Itsallamysterytome · 26/10/2018 09:43

Start a nuisance log just in case. Detail times dates etc. screenshot messages, photographic evidence just in case.
Ring 101 and log it with the police, nothing else happens it goes away. If it carries on they have history logged.
They may have previous history on her already, or you may help someone in the future.
You may have to nudge a little to get it recorded.

AdoreTheBeach · 26/10/2018 09:45

How horrid OP! Dog poo now, what next? Most definitely ring the police, share texts with them too.

I also second the cctv by your door.

KERALA1 · 26/10/2018 09:45

I would actually not call the police. It will escalate it. You are not dealing with a reasonable rational person and I think it will stoke the flames. You can't prove it was her anyway so what are they going to do?

I would batten down the hatches avoid all contact or comment and hope her anger dissipates or she finds a new target.

She is coming at everything from a very different place to you you cannot make her understand that a professional skilled person charges what you charge she will always see it as "unfair". Very sorry you are going through this and to think you were doing her a blooming favour!

My mother did some tutoring for a hideous family and when she billed them the mum refused to pay because "education is free in this country".

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 26/10/2018 09:48

What an awful experience. Definitely ring the police. You have done nothing wrong here at all,she is unhinged.
Hope that's the last of it Flowers

EmeraldVillage · 26/10/2018 09:50

You need to call the police. Because this may not be the end of it.

Make sure you do keep copies of the texts including via screen shots. If the child does end up at your school you will need to tell your head Of department or someone in the senior leadership team and ask them not to put her on your classes.

ScoobyGangMember · 26/10/2018 09:50

Can you request that you don't teach the daughter if she comes to your school?

GabriellaMontez · 26/10/2018 09:53

Do any neighbours have cctv or dash cam?

pompomcat · 26/10/2018 09:54

Hi OP - I've read the whole thread, please please get in touch the police. Take photos of what has happened and screenshot all your texts to share with them. You need to protect yourself, DH and your DC. I'm so very sorry this is happening to you, I can't imagine how you must feel.

pompomcat · 26/10/2018 09:55

*with (!)

Shuggas · 26/10/2018 09:55

Wow just wow! Please call the police, this really could continue to escalate. She sounds completely irrational and unhinged. You absolutely need to log this now, oh op I'm so sorry for you 

Mountainsided · 26/10/2018 09:56

Of course you phone the police. Neighbours might have cctv

NorthernSpirit · 26/10/2018 10:00

You must call the police and log the incident at least.

If this is a one off fine. In the sense it stops there. She sounds mentally unhinged and i’m sure you are not the first or last person she’s bullied.

If there is another incident it’s in file.

You sound an honest, decent person and she has taken advantage and acted very poorly.

Poor children having her as a role model.

Original poster
hazykates · 26/10/2018 10:00

Ok thank you all. I've contacted the police to log the incident. They're sending someone round later this morning. I still don't know if I want them to approach her - just think it could escalate her further

OP posts:
Almostthere15 · 26/10/2018 10:02

I would personally, just in case, get this thread deleted op. She may be reading it and it's fanning the flames both in terms of her knowing it's affecting you and seeing others condemn the behaviour.

I hope you're ok, of course you're shook up. The police will be best placed to advise from here

bubbles108 · 26/10/2018 10:03

I'd ring the police and get CCTV for any area of the house she can get to - front and back?

Ask the Police if they'd have time to have a chat with her to see if she can think of anyone who would do such a horrible thing

lola006 · 26/10/2018 10:04

Hi OP, I’ve been following this thread but not commented yet. Definitely ask neighbours if they have Ring cams or CCTV. You never know if she triggered their motion sensors (mine gets triggered by people past our house!).

And invest in your own. It wasn’t cheap but it’s so worth it.

Solenti · 26/10/2018 10:04

That is utterly disgusting.
I'm glad you contacted the police, and I would absolutely let them approach her. She needs to know you are serious about taking action against her if she does anything else. They will tell her to stay away from you. I would install cctv (we have it even with no problems with neighbours and it has been a great reassurance)

TheCakeCrusader · 26/10/2018 10:05

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you OP. I’m glad that you have contacted the police as this is quite a serious issue! Given all the aggressive texts and now the recent incident, there seems evidence to point to this woman.

Iaimtomisbehave1 · 26/10/2018 10:09

If it does escalate further, at least they will already be on the case.

If you do nothing and it continues then you don't have their support.

WalkingTed · 26/10/2018 10:10

i think you've done right by reporting this to the police, you cant second guess the future actions of someone like this

OftenHangry · 26/10/2018 10:10

Think of her children! How will the poor things turn out growing up with that crazy. You've done a right thing calling Police. She will probably flip on them too and then the kids will get help. I strongly suspect the little one is shy for a reason. If the mum does this to strangers, imagine what's happening at home...

I know this type of people. We all know someone who is always the victim, nothing is their fault and if you have £20 a month more than them you are the most horrible person🙄 All this will rub off on her kids. That's the saddest thing.

Mywifenow · 26/10/2018 10:11

Shocking. Sorry this is happening OP it sounds quite scary.Flowers

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