Who is BU? re wedding guests

[biser]

Wedding in country house hotel. Naice but not amazingly so.

How much would you, as a guest, be prepared to pay for a double room inc breakfast before you start to suspect "woah, I'm being ripped off to subsidise their costs".

@eightoclock

Fucking hope that is a joke!

Up to £150 for a decent hotel, more if it was something out of the ordinary.

Wow, shocked how much people pay. Id say £100 tops for two people but breakfast. Might be why weve not stayed in a hotel for years.

£110 is actually really cheap for a county house hotel. However they do need to be clear with hotel what happens if rooms are not taken and who is liable for the cost

I think £110 Is ok, as long as there is no pressure on guests to stay there and it's not too far from other options/just going home. I wouldn't pay it though. Dh and I would drive home, we could afford £110 but would rather spend the money on something else. I think the only way I'd pay it is if it was one of our siblings weddings and our children were staying there with us too.

Try not to stress, leave the decisions to them, as long as they know that up to half will choose to do something alternative (avoid pressuring anyone) and a few will pay but be a bit aggrieved (tbh, this will happen whatever the price). I actually think the price isn’t too bad. If you could get it down to £90 (ie subsidise it) it would be bargainous.

We are off to a family wedding soon. Double room cost us £240!!!! Just outside London.

All sounds fair enough to me - YABU

It's an awful lot of additional stress for B&g having to deal with all these room bookings etc on top of everything else.

Even if everyone considered the price "fair" it's a lot of hassle. I'd rather the guests and hotel took care if things directly with each other.

"£110 is actually really cheap for a county house hotel. "

But not if the rooms are £60-£90 when it's not a wedding!

So should we tell B&G to go back and negotiate: take the wedding package and get a guaranteed room-rate of £110, but without the clause to insist on 100% occupancy.
After all, if the hotel's hype is to be believed then guests would want to stay, they shouldn't need to be coerced!

Well first, the B&G should check the T&Cs and make sure they understand the deal. The fact they didn't know whether they'd have to cover the cost of empty rooms is worrying.

I don't imagine the hotel will do it without full occupancy if that's their business model but, they can ask.

In the end, they can only have the wedding they can afford. They need to be comfortable with what they're agreeing - and absolutely not push any additional costs onto guests. So, a very good idea to look at other venues too and make an informed comparison.

But while you can advise that they go in with their eyes open and always check they understand contracts before signing, you do need to leave it up to them. Unless they've asked you to help organise.

You say no strings attached but then also state that your contribution is the same price as the venue. I think you need to back off. It's not your wedding.

I agree

If the rooms are £60-£90 when it is not a wedding, that suggests that at least some of the rooms are not that great. £60 for an ensuite room is at the lower end of prices.

If the rooms are £60-£90 when it is not a wedding, that suggests that at least some of the rooms are not that great. £60 for an ensuite room is at the lower end of prices.

Depends. I've stayed in some very nice hotels off peak for that

I agree. But this is not simply a hotel, but a country house. They do tend to be more expensive.

I think you need to back off. It's not your wedding.

Except it sort of is!
Traditionally the bride's parents are the hosts so this is being done in our name.

So what is on offer for the £7000? Venue, food & drinks?

If the B&G want people to stay there, why aren't they paying for the rooms?

@biser except it's sort of NOT ...

Get your nose out. I'd properly lose my rag if my family interfered like this.

The question is, has your daughter asked you for help with planning the wedding? Is she coming to you with these questions?

Or, are you interfering?

Think about what sort of relationship you'd like with the married couple afterwards.

I'd properly lose my rag if ...

Goodness me! Is that how your family normally approach differences of opinion?

But mostly, it just sounds like you're a bit out of date on what hotels cost, whereas other people won't be at all shocked at £110 for a double room at the venue. We stay away for a night several times each year, paying between £80-90 for dbb. I certainly wouldn't be paying more than that to stay at a venue and location that wasn't my choice.

I don't think that we are interfering. We were told originally that we weren't allowed to look at venues because they wanted to do it as a romantic, just-us-two thing. We respected that.
They told us about this venue and we gave our opinion.

We are allowed to have an opinion, aren't we? Is that permitted.

Did they ask your opinion?

It doesn't matter what we think. You relationship is with your dd and her fiance.