My partner keeps waking the whole house.

[ThaiRedCurry]

This is one very sleepy house. I have a 5 month old who is a terrible sleeper, a toddler who thinks 5am is a reasonable time to get up in the morning and my partner who is in the police works shifts.
When he is on a late he finishes at around 1am. He comes in the front door and then slams it behind him. Turns on the landing light and the hall and then I hear him in the kitchen. Opening the microwave, reheating tea, slamming microwave door and then pulling out the kitchen chair. Once that's done he comes up the stairs and switches on the bathroom light. Leaves the door open, has a shower uses the toilet and flushes it. Then if this isn't already enough he dumps bag in the babies room (we only have a 3 bed so lots of storage in a wardrobe in babies room) and often even turns on the light in there for good measure. I try not to get pissed off but by this point we are all awake and I then have to get up and settle everyone and try get back to sleep myself.
Should I stop grumbling or is there a way I can approach this subject with him.
I'm so sleep deprived

I would have lost it the first time he did it if he woke everyone and there would have been shouting.

What Muppet goes into a sleeping babies room AND turns on the light - sorry op he is selfish

Wonder bringing up a posters previous threads is very bad form, especially when it has no bearing whatsoever on the issue at hand.

How does what you C&P'd have anything to do with her husband waking everyone up when he comes home from work?

My worst is when he comes back late from work on his bicycle and decides just to give the children "a little kiss", he has a beard which is rough and wakes them up, they then wake up and inevitably want me because "daddy's beard is prickly and he stinks from the bike" grrr you have my full sympathy, tell him to stop.

What steps have you taken to get your h to stop doing this because it's abusive cunt behaviour to wake up your kids and he also knows they'll wake you. He's not being thoughtless, this is deliberate to punish you all.

He's definitely extremely selfish and thoughtless.

Coming in drunk and doing all this - once - is cause enough to say in the morning " don't ever think of doing that again"

To let this be a regular occurrence - not approaching your husband even though he's upsetting your baby , says to me that you are worried about talking to him for some reason.

Very simply, common decency and respect for your family means that you don't behave like this. At 1.00 A.M. in the morning whilst the rest of the house is sleeping, you do everything as quietly as possibly.

It's always very interesting when you see a post in AIBU where the poster doesn't realise what they have actually divulged about their relationship.

MrsMarigold, that’s horrible and he sounds like he’s actually using his children to get at you. You’ve told the OP to tell him to stop, while you’re also married to a selfish man. How selfish and cruel to wake sleeping children for his own gratification. That’s not a loving act.

I'm sorry but he'd be dead by now as would anyone who woke me after less than four hours sleep. Because I wont be able to sleep until the following night. Therefore, death is the least he could expect.

Bringing up previous posts may be bad form but it is interesting that OP is taking coke and her DH is a police officer. Does he know about this OP?

It's got teeth and claws this one

Some people are inconsiderate when it comes to a sleeping house. I had to train the husband when he first come here about not turning the light on when he got up at 4am. I got a 'well how am I supposed to find my clothes'? That was a fun conversation
Adult son likes to get ready for work stupid o'clock but instead of gathering what he needs and going downstairs, he goes in some order in his head that requires multiple thunderings up and down the stairs. Sometimes you have to snarl.

Sometimes people can behave like a dick when common sense escapes them. But the pitchforks don't need to come out until after you've had a word and theyve deliberately ignored it

wonder do you know why you even thought that was relevent?

This doesn’t make any sense. He wakes the whole house up, so presumably one or both of you then has to deal with a baby and a child? So why on earth isnt anything said? Do you just pretend they woke up organically? BS. Any normal human would say ‘oh fgs you’ve woken the baby again by turning on the light and crashing about, can’t you be quieter?’ Absolute BS.

Oh dear, mum’s an alcoholic and a coke head and dad stops the kids having a decent nights sleep?!! Poor kids.

I note that wonder copied and pasted a previous thread, then getting no response she/he went through it holding the whole lot and re-posting just so they could get a better response. That’s not very nice.

Holding = bolding, ruddy autocorrect

Should I stop grumbling or is there a way I can approach this subject with him.

Good god how is this an issue? When the baby wakes up from the light being slammed on and you get up, and encounter DH in the hall, just l give him a kiss hello if you don't feel the urge to murder him, and say sleepily, "oh my god, you woke baby up again! Christ. We need to find somewhere else to store your gear tomorrow, because I am sick of resettling the kids after you wake them." And then give him a pat on the arse and amble off to settle the baby while he does his thing.
Or something like that. It should seriously be the easiest thing, and come entirely naturally to you, without any anger or angst. It's worrying that you're so reticent about some casual grumbling to an apparently lovely husband you're happy with, about a problem that should be minor and easily fixed despite being annoying af.
And then the next day, when you two find somewhere else to store his gear, you can broach the topic of him being so noisy in general. Maybe he's just so tired or absorbed in work thoughts he hasn't thought about the effect on the household, but if he's NOT a prick then I'm sure he'd want to know so he can stop disturbing everyone.

Some people are just horrible and always will be.

@Xici is spot on. The truth hurts sometimes I think a great many of us on here know this to be the case.
Seems he’s not the only selfish prick in this family though OP ......

I was going to come on here and echo @frouby with the you wake him you take him but frankly now I see what else is going on I think him waking up you and the sleeping children is a bit further down the list of your things to worry about.

You aren’t in a good place, and I hope things get better. Does your police Officer husband know you’re doing illegal class A drugs btw?

Ooh, and lord, bad taste of Wonder to copy from a previous thread of yours, but in light of it, perhaps you do need to have proper in depth chat with your DH about everything, so he can support you in both of you getting into a healthier place and family dynamic.

@gamerchick I think it’s a bit underhand but the drugs and alcohol are obviously an issue.
I often wonder why people do this trawling through posters threads and cross posting. I can’t remember my own name most days thanks for three non sleeping children so this some serious super sleuthing

@Eatmycheese I've done an advanced search before when I suspect the OP may not be, erm, posting in good faith (not that I've ever commented the results of my search,) so I suspect that may be what happened here.

He has a very stressful job and last thing he needs is me barking at him at 1am.

I didn't see anyone suggesting you add to the noise st 1am, but I too am surprised that you haven't mentioned it to him.

Did you live together and 'not like to mention it' before you had kids?

My now DH used put the light on on his way out of the bedroom, I didn't notice because when I visited him I usually had to get up earlier. Soon noticed when it ruined my long awaited lie in.

We had a lighthearted conversation about it, he caught on and while I can't say he has never done it since , manages to remember to be considerate of my sleeping form 99.99% of the time. I would honestly not have moved in together if he continued to disturb my fee but precious lie ins. As for having children with someone who cannot show kindness and consideration , why would anyone do that ?

It's nothing to do with the stress levels of his job. It's about kindness and consideration.

Oh wow how you haven't completely lost it... I would have flipped my lid
You need some decent sleep having a baby and younger child x

Have you known and lived with your boyfriend very long OP? Because this isn't normal behaviour. It's the behaviour of a single man. Maybe he just needs sometime to adjust.

I wonder if there’s a reason you drink and take coke dealing with this idiot.

I think OPs posting history is relevant in this case. The OP reads as though she’s an innocent victim of her DHs selfish ways. Yes he’s selfish but maybe he’s aware that his wife is spending family money doing drugs and that he has been put in a shitty situation where she could be putting his job at risk. Maybe if she has a drink problem, she’s also boozing whilst looking after the kids. Maybe he’s massively resentful and is being passive aggressive with the night stuff becuase he envisages some seriously negative outcomes of his DW behaviour.

My husband is a police officer and the first night it would have been a very stern ‘stop being so loud’

After that my language would be more colourful and my hand actions far more elaborate.

It’s selfish and thoughtless. Turning a light on in a baby’s room?! Who does that or even thinks that’s remotely okay?

Wait till he's on nights and do the same