9 year old DD - just plain greedy!

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Sorry... posting here for traffic

DD has always had a big appetite... but recently she has become unbearable, always eating, throwing tantrums etc.

She’s always been on the ‘fuller’ side of healthy, but recently I’ve been noticing she’s looking quite overweight. I decided to step back and track what she ate yesterday:
2 slices of toast with generous amount of Nutella, a banana and small bowl of shreddies.

2 hours later was rolling about on the floor claiming she was ‘starving’ I gave her an apple. Checked up on her a minute later to see her munching on digestive biscuits from the cupboard!

For lunch she insisted on making herself TWO wraps with lots of ham and cheese inside, a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. Said she was still hungry, I offered her carrot and houmous which she reluctantly accepted.

Mid afternoon... caught her raiding the fridge, getting herself a large chunk of cadbury, and a yoghurt.

Dinner was new potatoes, steamed fish and lots of veg. She ate all of it, demanding more which I gave her, and then proceeded to make herself another bowl of shreddies afterwards.

8pm, screaming she’s hungry, that we’re starving her (!!) she had a tall glass of orange juice and a marmite crumpet.

If you ask me, that’s ridiculous! I try to make her only eat healthy snacks etc, but frankly I sometimes need an easy life. Both DH and I are fit, healthy weight. For some comparison, I, 33 years old ate:

Scrambled egg on toast breakfast.

Apple mid morning.

Salad with falafel & quinoa lunch. Cappuccino.

Greek yoghurt & honey mid afternoon

Same dinner

Chunk of cadbury (less than DD) around 9pm.

Her brother, 11, also has a good appetite, eats less than her.

What do I do ?!

I think orange sunsets makes a really good point. The idea that a daily diet has to be perfect and practised each day exactly is quite mind boggling really. Surely in the real world we all have weeks where we’re extra hungry, days where we’re not interested in food, days we fancy sweet stuff and days we want a certain thing? Months where clementines are in season so we eat a bag a day () and Days when no veg at all gets eaten? That’s normal eating.

Sounds like sugar is the issue. I'm 28 and know that once I have something with added sugars/high in sugar, it's extremely hard for me to resist the cravings more more sweet food. She's 9 - she'll find it even harder.

She needs to detox off the sugar, and it's your job to facilitate it - you're the parent. Don't have nutella/biscuits in the cupboard or the Dairy Milk and orange juice in the fridge. Make sure she's having a solid breakfast of eggs and bacon, or porridge, or something that isn't breakfast cereal or covered in sugar. She'll be crabby for a couple of days but her moods will improve drastically.

At that age my DC wouldn't have been preparing their own foods in between meals.
Don't buy crap.
Keep her occupied and fill her up with water.

As I child i never helped myself to anything other than the fruit bowl and I did the same with my DC. They would ask for a snack, not just take it!

Months where clementines are in season so we eat a bag a day (grin) and Days when no veg at all gets eaten? That’s normal eating.

Is It?

Get rid of the sugary cereals. I was pretty liberal about food with DD, however for her whole childhood sugary cereals were banned as was Nutella. Whenever she had friends come round for sleepovers they always looked shocked that there was no Nutella on offer...

Sugary foods can be fine for kids who can self regulate, I admit DD probably had more sugary type snacks in her lunch than what would be considered normal nowadays. She generally had potato chips and biscuits of some sort for break. Sandwiches and fruit for lunch.

However at home there was generally fruit for snacks only, ice-cream was always on offer after dinner (I figure that was probably better than chocolate and biscuits etc which make you more Hungary)

Yes it is cambalamb. Obviously i would t have stated that if it weren’t the case

It's not normal Capri. You mean it's normal for you.

Yes it is normal. But thanks got your useless input

*for

God I get depressed with the 'don't let her think you are judging her ' !

Of course you have to bloody judge. ! Do people think teenage obesity is some little mild problem like a cold ? Do they not realise that it absolutely blights teenagers lives and destroys their self esteem, confidence (not forgetting health ?). Can actually go on to affect their entire life and choices.
How utterly miserable it is to be the one that can't wear the nice clothes, move easily in sport, enjoy theme parks.. - my DD has a lovely friend in this position , the lovely summer we just had - saw all her friends in little shorts, crop tops, going to the beach.. friend hid under 'tents' ... wouldn't swim at the beach. Too insecure about her body to even think about a relationship. It's utterly utterly miserable and a vicious circle of low self worth = seeking comfort in food.
It's tantamount to a form of child abuse and by her age (17) too late for the parent to control - BUT as a parent to a 9/10 yr old - completely in your power to do something about. Time to do that OP.
Get the sugar out of her diet. Porridge with berries /Greek yogurt for breakfast. Or scrambled egg if she will eat it. She needs protein to start the day to stop the sugar spikes.
Supper was good. Lunch some protein and leaves. Or sandwich with ham salad or a good homemade soup and some whole meal bread.

If there are no crisps or biscuits in the house she will have to snack on carrots and humus . Please do this for her. The alternative is so bloody miserable.

Also agree with pp. most kids do this because they are bored. She needs to be busier - which will stop her thinking about food as 'what shall I do now' .. every time she's at a loose end.

Stop buying anything you deem to be unhealthy. Maybe she does have a larger appetite than average, but she's a growing girl and I'm sure if she's consuming nutritious rather than empty calories then she'll be just fine.

you’re s grown woman
she’s heading for puberty
she may start s period tomorrow so needed the calories .
try just chatting casually about healthy choices
read upon duet for her age
together
what us needed regarding calories
vits minerals iron etc
..without making her feel bad or get a life longer eating complex ..

I would do two things which seem a bit contradictory. First I'd ditch the Nutella, it's evil stuff that goes on for months, it would be ok as an occasional treat but that's not the size of the jar! Only buy reasonably less sugary cereals, or go for porridge, wholemeal toast. Lots of fruit about the place, plus cheese, nuts stuff to snack on.

Then, back off and let her get on with it.

At some point in the next 3-4 years she will have to make the connection between her eating huge amounts and being overweight. Even if you could control the environment now (and that's hard enough with parties, cakes, treats at people's houses), you certainly won't be able to by the time she hits secondary. Just keep reiterating what a healthy diet looks like, cook together or let her cook, tell her about protein/carbs/veg in every meal and then let it go, and if she stuffs herself silly, so be it.

At some point everyone has to learn to take responsibility for their OWN weight, and for girls (where there are snacks on the way to school, at school, at sleepovers, everywhere) especially in puberty, you really can't police it yourself. You just have to have faith that eventually they will not want to stuff themselves with crap, but will want to have a better body image/feel healthy/do more sport. The desire not to over-eat has to come from within, coupled with having plenty of lovely delicious healthy food available plus the odd treat.

^^ completely agree. No young girl has gone from overweight to normal weight healthily by being put on a diet by their mum, or having food locked away from them. She’ll be out buying her own food before long and needs to develope good habits organically.

Still, I maintain, she’s on half term and out of routine. You shouldn’t be judging her diet on their week

Of course you have to bloody judge. ! Do people think teenage obesity is some little mild problem like a cold ? Do they not realise that it absolutely blights teenagers lives and destroys their self esteem, confidence (not forgetting health ?). Can actually go on to affect their entire life and choices

I totally disagree it's a mum's role to judge. I think the most important thing you can do as a mum is love your child, whatever size they are, and make them see they are very very important, lovely, have so much to offer, encourage them to do all activities and so on.

You don't need to worry about them knowing being fat is bad- they have already internalized this message by about 7/8 years old and already the overweight kids feel shit.

Piling in on them to try to guilt them out of eating, when food is deliberately made by manufacturers to be 'hyper-palatable' (sweet and fat and moreish) and cheap, is pretty nasty and likely to be counter-productive.

Hardly useless input. I am pointing out that imo it is not normal to eat as you state. In my experience it is normal to portion food, not gorge on any food even if it is clementines, and to eat fruit and veg EVERY day. I'm a parent and I take that responsibility seriously.

Well that’s nice, but I have a completely normal attitude to food and the chances are extremely high you don’t so I’ll take your opinion with a pinch of salt (and a clementine)

Lol! If you say so

OP, please take her to the doctors. This constant hunger and tantrums about food, stealing and seeking sounds like Prader Willi Syndrome. It may not be (especially if her development has been normal up to this point) but there are subtypes that don’t have as much of the development delay etc as the ‘classic’ case. Her preoccupation is not healthy or normal.

Prada Willie is extremely rare. I think you’d be bonkers to take a child to the doctor on that diet and claim you were concerned about it

You can’t really compare your intake with hers- my daily caloric needs are actually about the same as my 8 yr old child’s, so she should be eating similar amounts to me. So don’t criticise your child for eating as much or more as you do. Cut out the fattening stuff like Nutella and replace with more protein, fruit and veg that she can fill up on.

Remove all the crap from the house.
Check she isn't being bullied (emotional eating)
Boredom - what is she doing all day? get her busy and active so there isn't time to just think of the next time to eat.
Talk about being healthy rather than fat/thin and be kind, you came across as very distant towards her (as an afterthought could that be part of her emotional eating may be?, we get a lurve feeling from food)
If it hasn't been going on long then maybe a growth spurt combined with any of the above.

I don't understand the snack mentality. If you are eating 3 meals a day why does anyone need a snack? Much of this is consumerism, you have gone so far down the rabbit hole of snacks, chocolate, fruit juices and lots of other unecessary food stuff you can't see daylight.

She won't thank you when she is overly plump at 16 and left with stretch marks she cannot lose or a half life that some of my children's friends had at school due to being overweight. Indeed one of mine gained a huge amount whilst living with their dad for two years and still suffers the mental and physical repercussions now and he is 23. Hates his fluctuating weight and the constant battle with food, hates the way clothes fit and hates the way it affects his life.

Where is the parenting? Of course she won't monitor her own diet, she's a child, that's what they do. Your job is to help her become a successful adult and binging daily won't acheive that.

You are being utterly stupid, she is asking for help. The only person judging is you... are you a bit tubby and its hit a nerve..... no parent should want a fat kid.