9 year old DD - just plain greedy!

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Sorry... posting here for traffic

DD has always had a big appetite... but recently she has become unbearable, always eating, throwing tantrums etc.

She’s always been on the ‘fuller’ side of healthy, but recently I’ve been noticing she’s looking quite overweight. I decided to step back and track what she ate yesterday:
2 slices of toast with generous amount of Nutella, a banana and small bowl of shreddies.

2 hours later was rolling about on the floor claiming she was ‘starving’ I gave her an apple. Checked up on her a minute later to see her munching on digestive biscuits from the cupboard!

For lunch she insisted on making herself TWO wraps with lots of ham and cheese inside, a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. Said she was still hungry, I offered her carrot and houmous which she reluctantly accepted.

Mid afternoon... caught her raiding the fridge, getting herself a large chunk of cadbury, and a yoghurt.

Dinner was new potatoes, steamed fish and lots of veg. She ate all of it, demanding more which I gave her, and then proceeded to make herself another bowl of shreddies afterwards.

8pm, screaming she’s hungry, that we’re starving her (!!) she had a tall glass of orange juice and a marmite crumpet.

If you ask me, that’s ridiculous! I try to make her only eat healthy snacks etc, but frankly I sometimes need an easy life. Both DH and I are fit, healthy weight. For some comparison, I, 33 years old ate:

Scrambled egg on toast breakfast.

Apple mid morning.

Salad with falafel & quinoa lunch. Cappuccino.

Greek yoghurt & honey mid afternoon

Same dinner

Chunk of cadbury (less than DD) around 9pm.

Her brother, 11, also has a good appetite, eats less than her.

What do I do ?!

As above with your giving her sugary crap and keeping such crap in the house. (god knows I eat chocolate biscuits! But I’m not managing a child’s weight)

Why does she think it’s OK to just go and take the biscuits, and then later to take chocolate?

Aside from any moaning about hunger, that’s an issue on its own.

People always come out with the same stuff on these threads, such as confusing thirst for hunger.

That's certainly not the case for my ds, he will eat until he's sick.

Sometimes you see him forcing the food down and it's obvious he's not hungry and he's going green he's so full but he won't stop eating.

@Iliveinazoo your son sounds like me at that age, I had/have Binge Eating Disorder. It is made considerably worse by any judgement, being called 'greedy' etc. www.nhs.uk/conditions/binge-eating/

DD 11 eats adult portions. If she's at home she'll have breakfast at about 11, otherwise she waits until morning fruit at school, she'll only eat apples, grapes, bananas or Galia melon, then a cooked lunch, and a yoghurt if at school, then a cooked dinner.

He's not starved he gets 3 good home cooked meals a day, it is just greed. I bought some Nutella once for pancakes, before pancake day ds had dipped his finger in and eaten the whole jar

And yet he’s still fine weight wise? What’s the issue then.

My ds was a massive eater but we just let him manage his portions. Now at 9, he eats properly. We don’t make him finish a meal (which I’ve seen some people do yet complain their kids eat too much!!) and he regulates really well.

Sometimes you see him forcing the food down and it's obvious he's not hungry and he's going green he's so full but he won't stop eating.

Take him to the doctor, PLEASE. This sounds like classic BED!

Also, I really don’t think you can comment on a tall glass of OJ like it’s food!
Calories yes, food no.

Interesting your choice of words - her demanding more, not asking. And helping herself to Shreddies after dinner. Why is she allowed free reign?

Opining she's not too young to go to the shops, DD would have been allowed if she'd been confident enough.

Opining she's not too young to go to the shops, DD would have been allowed if she'd been confident enough.

Okay, I guess it depends where you live.

My 11 year DD seems to eat enormous quantities of food. We never restrain her. If she says she is hungry then we believe her. We also only have water or milk in our home. Fruits and veg are always on offer. She is kept very active with daily sports. Her weight is not an issue.

I would encourage your dd to be as active as possible. Talk walks with her daily if you can. Keep apples, carrots, green pepper, hummus and pita bread on offer. Don’t make her weight an issue.

I wouldn't let my dd go to the shops on her own around here.

I probably sound crazy but I was an obses child. I was obsessed with food. The more I are, the more my stomach stretched so I could physically eat more. I would eat an entire box of cakes and 4 bags of crisps in a row. As a teenager I lost all the fat through portion control and eating more healthily with only one treat a day. I am slim now and have my own children. They can only access healthy and boring food in the kitchen. All the junk food is stored in the locked garage, as they need permission for junk food. They are allowed one treat a day only.

DD walks to school and back, Sainsbury's is much nearer. It's about 5 minutes away.

That does sound like a lot, but if my DD is going through a growth spurt she can eat that much. It really wouldn't be everyday though.

DD wouldn't have eaten dinner or the crumpet after the chocolate and yoghurt. Definitely don't keep chocolate and Nutella within reach. Also the amounts of sugar in all that food will make her blood sugar spike and drop which can leave her feeling as though she is hungry. Stock up on fruit. She can eat that. We have a full fruit bowl the kids can help themselves to whenever they want.

My daughter is the same age, slim, active and has a good appetite.
Today she had one bowl of Weetabix for breakfast with dairy free milk
Oatcakes with a small block of cheese, one medium sized sausage roll, apple, crudites and a chocolate biscuit for lunch
Dinner two small falafels, (meat ball sized) a cereal bowl of pasta, with pesto, veg and some chicken. She probably won't finish all the pasta.

She might have a biscuit later. All she has drunk today is water.

This is a relatively normal amount. If she started eating more, she would probably start to put weight on.

I also find both my kids eat more during the holidays or weekends if they are not occupied or out of the house.

If I took ds to the Doctors I'm almost certain they'd laugh me out of their office.

He's a tall healthy strapping lad, he's perfectly in proportion without an ounce of fat on him.

He's not overweight because like most kids he's very active, plus I don't buy loads of junk food, so most of the time he doesn't have access much anymore.

Ds has been like this since he was old enough to feed himself. I've never forced him to finish meals, I've never restricted sweets, I've never called him greedy to his face.

Apart from the chocolate it sounds okay to me. My DS is 10 and could easily eat that in a day, he’s slim.

This is going to sound like a crazy comparison, but bear with me.

I had a horse who, due to me believing advertising blurb, I fed on ready made concentrated sugary feed, plus all manner of sugar full treats such as carrots. apples etc. His temper got worse and worse and his appetite was through the roof. One day it clicked with me and I stopped him having any sugar at all. We had a couple of days of major tantrums and then he rapidly returned to being the lovely gentle giant we first knew. He can never have anything sweetened or he reverts to nastiness and greed.

I think your DD might be the same, addicted to a sugar high. She 'needs' to top up her levels constantly and tantrums if she isn't allowed any. It isn't her fault (to a degree) it's her body lying to her. Sadly I think it will be a lot harder to deal with and get under control.

Sorry if this sounds like the ranting of a mad woman but I believe there is some truth in my idea.

It sounds to me as though she had what equates to two breakfasts without giving herself time to recognise a full feeling after one.

Does she drink enough? Often thirst can be mistaken for hunger.

I would be telling her the same as I just told DS (skinny as anything) that you won't actually die of hunger eating three meals a day. Only have healthy snacks available and increase her exercise.

I agree that not having biscuits and chocolate in the house is the way to go. If you want those things for yourself keep them hidden in your wardrobe or somewhere she won’t find them (but don’t make a big deal that you’re doing this because it could be upsetting to her).

If you only have healthy snacks then if she’s eating because she’s hungry, there’s no harm in her having them. But if she’s eating because she’s bored or addicted to sugar, it will remove some of the pleasure in her snacking for non hunger related reasons. But you also have to give her something else to cure the boredom - does she exercise / have hobbies / get enough attention?

She’s growing and kids often have huge appetites so I wouldn’t worry too much about how much she eats - just make sure that she’s eating the right things, and the easiest way to do that is just not to buy the Nutella / Cadbury’s / digestives etc.

@Iliveinazoo

If you look at the link you'll see a lot of the symptoms you described in your post. BED isn't about how heavy you are, it's about your relationship with food and anxiety.

Eating secretly and even when uncomfortably full, stealing food, food being a high focus all of these your son does, all of these are BED.

I'm not angry with you or getting at you, but what you're describing is textbook.

Blanched that is what I'm trying to do, only make healthy snacks available, then he can fill his boots.

It's hard though because even if I don't buy it, we have two sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, birthday parties, the grandparents are the worst.

Tbh, an apple is a really stupid thing to give to a really hungry person. Who ever found an apple fills them up? It's just extra on top of what you subsequently eat to stop yourself feeling hungry. Cheese would be more filling than an apple. Or how about a few nuts? And why are you having scrambled egg on toast and letting your dd have Nutella? If she's loading herself up with sugar first thing in the morning, making her blood sugar levels leap up and then crash down shortly afterwards, then of course her energy levels will plummet and she'll rapidly feel hungry for sugary food again. I think you need to ensure she eats less sugary food, rather than apparently letting her eat crap all day and then torturing her with steamed fish (which I hope was more interesting than it sounds, because it sounds like flavourless invalid food for people with digestive problems when described like that! It just makes me think of insipid, nondescript, low in flavour, watery cod...).

Another that thinks sugar is the issue here..

Almost all the meals you describe are high in sugar apart from dinner which is very low in sugar but also low in protein and not very filling.

You also seem to have a massive attitude problem, the words you choose.. IS she really demanding, screaming, do you need to capitalise TWO .... etc it really does speak volumes about your issues rather than hers.

Just jiggle stuff around - fat and protein at breakfast, small amount of carb (bread) and sugar (fruit).

Let her choose her own snacks but ensure the options are fruit, veg, ham, cheese, and not biscuits, cereals etc.

Ditto at lunch.

Same dinner but more protein with it.

In the house have no Nutella, no biscuits or crisps or sugary foods. Give her protein at every meal, as many vegetables as she can eat and only fruit and plain yoghurt after. There should be no fridge raiding and the contents of the fridge should be all healthy anyway. If she is growing fast she can eat more but more healthy. Don't eat from boredom or bad habits. Don't make a big deal of it, quietly remove the crap. Sugar will make her hungry