...to not know how to respond to this message...

[WigglyBraddins]

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

I like this response best

*Hi xxx, thanks for your message. I have to be honest that I don’t have a very high tolerance for misogyny. I realise this isn’t your fault- society, upbringing etc but it puts me in an awkward position because I don’t normal see men who are as unreconstructed. Maybe you could take a few units from a women’s studies masters, just so you can try to curb this. Obviously it’s going to be really limiting you in your life and career more widely as women and many men will be giving you a wide birth. So I think this will actually really help you move forward in life.
It goes without saying that as healthy, happy woman I wouldn’t be able to sleep with you again. I hope you understand. It’s an ethical issue for me.
All the best,
Y(

"Aww a text! I love having something to read whilst digging into my GIANT Toblerone"

"Sleeping with me was a choice, maybe look at what you need to change".

I would say you are already slim at 5 9" and size 12; if you were 4 4" then I would say you were possibly a lb or 2 over ideal weight.

You wot get a balanced response off here, lol.

If you like him then talk to him, show him your details on the NHS bmi calculator so he can see you are normal. Don't let him bully / pressure you into losing weight, or be the start of an eating disprder.

Good luck in whatever you choose :)

Aww bless, I totally understand how men like you need to project your inferiority onto women but hey! therapy can help you if drugs or a lobotomy can't

Just text back "UNSUBSCRIBE"

"Oh thank you, that's so sweet of you! I do understand that inadequate men need to bring down women whom they perceive to be totally out of their league. What a great compliment! But seriously, you're not that bad believe in yourself a bit more and you won't need to neg anyone again."

The idea of showing my BMI chart to a potential suitor to prove to them that I am fine as I am is not an appealing idea. I would think it a shame if any woman decided to do that, and would hope that she could improve her self worth so that she didn’t feel she had to prove anything to bellends.

Totally reply in a similar vein re his penis. He's a twat x

I second UNSUBSCRIBE
Great response @itsbritneybiatches

‘Perhaps tell that to your penis, he seemed man enough to get over himself and enjoy sex the other night, enjoy the single life!’

"just showed your message to a forum.youll be glad to know im not the only one now that thinks your a fucking wanker.i feel sorry for a woman that might one day take you in.how dare you ever make a woman think they should change how they look.you want me to change you are NOT worth my time.got to go ive got a chocolate cake to devour which im happy to say will give me far more pleasure than a future with you ever could.enjoy your views little boy.

What an utter lowlife. Steer well clear op!

Don't reply. He'll be waiting for a reply .. and waiting .. and waiting.

Dragongirl10

Just perfect!! plus don’t forget she should mention that she was a great actress that night for his less then satisfying performance!!

WigglyBraddins

From a gentleman!! He is NO gentlemen!! But you are a lady and don’t you forget it!! You deserve so much more then this twat!!

Reply NEXT 😁

"So you'd prefer me to be anorexic or pre-pubescent? Well that's a big red flag and out. Thanks for alerting me."

I'd reply:

"Are you always this needy?"

And then I would ignore any further correspondence.

Iwell given I can lose weight should I want to but you’re always going to be a dickhead we are never going to be compatible. I’ll go find myself a real man

What a pig!!! Hope you’re ok xxx

In your shoes I'd be inclined to copy and paste it into his Facebook page...under the heading
"True Colours...... Much"

I agree with all the above. However, everyone is judgemental and this man is telling you the truth as he sees it. Other folks think alike but are too hypocritical to say.

Read the Mumsnet thread about things people have recognised about themselves and the raw confessions will shock you in that everyone pretends to say one thing to others and be another underneath. Some of the most common revelations were about being constantly judgemental of others and, in particular, about others being overweight.

I'd reply 'what does Urgh mean?'

Well, my opinion is no different to anyone else’s.

However, noticed this in the OP:

”I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true”

When did he say this, @WigglyBraddins? Had this been a previous response in an exchange between you? Did he not want to see you again and you asked why?

Or did this text arrive completely out of leftfield?