...to not know how to respond to this message...

[WigglyBraddins]

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

I would ask him if he would urgh urgh this feels so awkward to say but please could you sort out your disgusting toxic personality and see a psychologist as you are obviously not right in the head! Not really..don’t bother replying..everyone is attracted to different types of people, mind, body and soul..it doesn’t mean we have to go around telling all the people we arnt attracted to, the reasons why, and ask them to change for us. Narcissist. A thick one at that. Eugh. Please don’t let this dreg of a human affect you in any way! Xxxx

I'd say something along the lines of;

Sorry but I prefer men who are more intelligent, more endowed and more attractive, so too many red flags for my liking but good luck in your search!

Oh god. Does the bloke live in Worcester? I had exactly this happen to me back in the spring though unfortunately for him I was
very drunk when he messaged me to say “ thanks for going over, but we both know i dont do large, it was an experiment and you failed” so he got both barrels and told exactly what I thought of him.

Hope your friend is ok - there’s never an excuse for being cruel.

Surely you must share his number with us....?!

People are attracted to different types. I thought it was a perfectly polite message. A bit odd to send maybe but politely put.

Grown ups generally manage to end relationships with a little more courtesy and maturity.

Sounds like he is actually trolling you then! You are by no means overweight!! So Defo a mentalist trying to mess with your mind. Avoid at all costs and personally ignore the urge to reply even with aww bless or similar as that will just let him know you are bothered...

Agree so much here 😂 why does anyone think replying is a good idea? Even lol is letting him know he has got under your skin! Ignore and block!

Wait a few weeks, months, then photos hop a picture of you son it looks like you lost weight and send it to him and say "What do you think?" when he comes back greasing up to you, just reply "Oh that's great, cos my boyfriend loves it, but then he never demanded I lose weight he loved me for who I was".

So we should tell every person we not attracted to (even those we have used for sex) all their flaws that make them unattractive to us? It doesn’t matter if it’s politely put, as you seem to think, it’s uncalled for. As thumpers mother used to say: if you haven’t got anything nice to say don’t say anything at all!

@Wildheartsease That is wonderful. Literally LOL

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape op, well done on ignoring and blocking!

If you ignore and block he will still think he's got under your skin. You might as well have a swipe back at his ego! 😁

“That’s a shame, turns out I’m not attracted to arseholes so it’s a win win situation really..” ?

Love this idea though! Fun! Unless OP has feelings for him..then block him!!

Anyone who says Urgh a lot is annoying, but to actually write it? I would just reply that - Wow! that was a long-winded. What can I say?

Haha, he thinks a lot of himself!

I'd reply "No worries, I was just using you for sex and had already decided not to sample a second time. Bye"

Too long a text. He doesn't really say much other than you're not his type, too big? Vague.
Maybe he's hating himself for what happened, should've had more self discipline if he didn't fancy you?
Plan: Delete.
Say No until a few dates have passed for your self respect.

Hmmm not sure if this has been suggested already but could it be that he’s a weirdo with a humiliation fetish who’s trying to get you to slate him for his own enjoyment?

I mean your measurements very clearly indicate you aren’t fat in the slightest, and people are saying they’ve heard of similar messages before so perhaps he’s just getting off on it? I mean if you look at how grossly obnoxious and annoying his message is, it’s like he’s deliberately trying to be as offputting and annoying as possible to get a reaction from you?

Either way, what a creep. Ew.

I would just of replied "Holy fuck, I am so, so relieved you have shown this horrific side of yourself before I wasted more time on you. Yes you are correct, if I needed or wanted to lose weight I likely could (but i dont) however you are going to be a complete cunt forever. So this just won't work. Urgh, urgh, urgh indeed!"

Thank goodness you are open, and honest. It makes me feel comfortable with responding openly.
Being open, I'm not unhappy with my size.
I'm glad we have both realized, and admitted the issues that have arisen.
In all honesty, I was surprised that your physical presence, and shape of penis was significantly less pleasurable than those that I have previously experienced. I don't have many previous partners, but all have been able to satisfy me far more extensively. I'm used to experiencing several orgasms whilst being intimate- but somehow we just didn't click that way.
I can't help this either, but haven't experienced this before. I felt that perhaps you were nervous, or lacking in confidence.
Regarding your prior message, I'm certain that this won't hurt you. Sometimes the only red flag is the lack of sexual attraction, which seems to be missing on both sides.
Neither of us can help what we like, but it's lovely to have an early and honest conversation. It would be ridiculous to continue meeting up, when we both understand that our connection was not there, for whatever reason.
Good luck for your future dates.

Link to a Fleshlight then block.

Reckon this twat is probably a perpetrator of domestic abuse and does this regularly to put women down. Complete waste of oxygen. Beyonce said "I don't think you're ready for this jelly" I don't think he's ready to interact with other human beings. You've had a lucky escape - ghost him!

What physical characteristics doYOU find attractive in a man? Are you going to lie and pretend it doesn't matter?

Perhaps if he found her physical characteristics so unenticing he could have not gone on two dates with her and shagged her before informing her that she’d need to drop a few pounds if she wanted him to stick around.

Personally I’ve never gone on a second date with someone I wasn’t really attracted to, shagged them, then felt the need to give them a rundown on the “inadequacies” that were holding me back from bestowing more of my approval on them. But I guess some people take a different dating approach.

I'm sure I've seen something similar on here before and the general consensus was that he enjoyed upsetting women. I'd message back something along the lines of 'your loss' and block him.