...to not know how to respond to this message...

[WigglyBraddins]

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

What a fucking cheek..tell him to fuck off simple..can't believe the cheek of it...

@ButchyRestingFace days previously he volunteered he wanted to explore dating women that weren’t his type & said personality-wise I was exactly his type but physically I wasn’t. I didn’t ask what he meant & he didn’t explain. Before we even met for the first time I checked he knew I was tall & sturdy & said that if he wanted petite & delicate there was no point in meeting. He said doll-like women were too fragile for fun...

@ButchyRestingFace the msg in OP arrived out of left field

Aye, right Teach.
Lets praise the bugger for his deeply held honesty?
That manipulative little email is not a deeply held confession of a truth as this man sees it. There are many 'form' examples of this tactic being used on the internet

Theres a big difference between, 2 dates and one sexual encounter = lose weight/change yourself otherwise I wont continue a relationship Who the fuck would say that to someone after 2 dates?

if they had any interest in continuing a relationship they would be ecstatic to be in the loved up just started having sex honeymoon phase where you perhaps are a bit blind to peoples faults and look on them kindly

Someone who genuinely cares for a partner or relative and is concerned about their weight anguishes over this sort of conversation. They have to find a way to step into the minefield of ' Im worried about your weight because… worried about your health, noticed that you are less active and happy, really sorry to feel less than attracted to my partner, I dont know if you feel this or want to lose weight but if you do, how can I support you?' conversation. Lots of people on the boards have brought up these issues describing worries about family members and partners weight and the tone, concern and direction of a genuine this is an unpleasant truth but its important enough that I care to tell you is totally different

He said doll-like women were too fragile for fun..

First 🚩 right there. Glad you blocked him.

Teacher if I wsent on a couple of dates and was turned off by an aspect of him (bad breath, bad table manners, small dick, large gut...) I would gently back away. I wouldn't be brutal. I would 'make excuses'. I think most people would.

I am not in it to 'rescue' people or to teach them how to be good partners.

And anyone lucky enough to get close to this body had better be thanking his lucky stars, not negging.

he volunteered he wanted to explore dating women that weren’t his type

He told you he was just dating you in the off chance he might overlook your looks?

OP, you do need better boundaries.
Dump straight away any man who tells you this or anything remotely similar.

Dear X

I fully understand your position, pick (a physical feature of his, if you have been intimate his manhood) as a lady with hidden depths, who was looking for something special this time round, I also find myself feeling really shallow for discovering my that despite being a beautiful curvy lady, who can be modest lol, that I am slightly vain in needing somebody who knows how to fully satisfy my needs. I don't expect you to meet me half way, as in this case once was enough, but I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. There are no hard feelings we want what we want. (Block after message)
There are times in life where you must reply to put certain douche bags in their place and this is definitely one of them! OP you are gorgeous don't waste a seconds thought on this fool after telling him where to go! What a sociopath.

Sorry haven't RTFT but my initial reaction was to wonder if you'd been dating Donald Trump

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

@lweji You’re not wrong

If this is real, I don't think it justifies a response OP. I would just block his number. He sounds insane.

Did someone REALLY send you that message?!?!?!

I'd be tempted to reply "TL;DR" but we'll done op, blocking is better

Wiggly, this one is a fairly classic OLD twat with his 'not my type but I l'll shag anyhow because I'm really only here for sex', really. Now you know. He's a standard fuckwit. When someone tells you what he did, it's a red flag he's a twat. I'm glad you blocked him.

Man is a fool, but please don't text back the same thing re his penis. Lame and cringe worthy- I can't believe so many people are suggesting it.

A) if he doesn't have a tiny penis, it would be stupid and B) even if he does, it would just make you a hypocrite.

Hold your head high and be the better person! You can still make him feel silly without criticising his physical appearance.

Incidentally, I'm completely disgusted by his message. The fact that you're only a size 12 at 5'9 makes it even more bizarre! What a fucking gross weirdo..

I agree with Elephant7, don’t lower yourself to his level. In any situation like this, it’s far better to block and ignore. Apart from anything, you don’t want your reply being forwarded on by him to anyone else.

Find someone far FAR better, you sound fabulous ✅

"I think it was pretty clear from our liaison that there was a lack of attraction on both sides. But it sounds like we both learned more about what we like (and don't!), so let's call it quits while we're ahead"

...and leave him wondering....

Tell him how glad you are that he brought this up because there was something (or a few things) urhgh, that you were reluctant to bring up about himabout HIM, urgh! Then proceed to tell him how you are used to "much larger" men. Or men that don't have genitals that" look like", "smell like" his. Etc. Or how you wished he could do something about his breath or order he tends to have. Get creative. No one is perfect least of all this turd.good luck

Please don't listen to those telling you to not say anything or just block and move on etc. That is what happens too often that people take the so called high road when it's actually a weak road that means you ran away. we women let too much shit pass taking the weak way forward. It allows the wrong doers to think what they did was right. It teaches others that you are a door Matt and can be fucked with. FIGHT BACK with your verbal creative female mind that observers all and knows how to turn a creative phrase. Comment on HIM and some of HIS imperfections. Believe me if he's endowed or not mearly commenting negatively on it will be effective. But there are other things besides the penis to comment on. Don't be a weak, unresponsive, cowardly, door matt. Fight back. Fight fire with some of your own. Nicely but directly. Don't let this pass with a wimpy ignore and block while your feelings are confused and hurt. Don't leave him completely expressed in His opinion and Power. Express some Power of observation of your own. SPEAK ON AND ABOUT IT, girl. Leave fear and weakness to the others, not yourself. Like you no matter what size or height or color you are. Just like he thinks he does.

It’s just a negging text that he has probably found online, designed to bring you down. It deserves nothing but ghosting.

Ignore, Block.

The blokes a knobhead..... NOT for thinking it, because men AND women think these things... BUT you don't SAY it .... you say something nice and walk away, because LIFE has a nasty knack of turning round and biting people like this.....

Phew.....it's so difficult to keep up faking orgasms!!!!

Dear twat
I’m so glad you have saved me a job. I’m so pleased I’m not your normal type because frankly, you’re not normal. I’m really attracted to real men who don’t have to act like a dick all the time. Whilst we are on about dicks, I definitely prefer men with one in their pants and not on their forehead.
Urgh I’m so sorry, I know these issues can really go to a losers head, I understand if you are hurt by this but I imagine your massive ego will not allow you to see how incredibly dumb you are.
There are literally thousands of red flags telling me that you shouldn’t even Be around beautiful smart women.
Wiggley

I would say “you have serious issues. Please reach out and get some counselling. All the best for the future.” Then block!!

Technology has a lot to answer for.
This man is too much of a twunt to ever have the balls to say this to someone's face. But thanks to modern technology he can twunt away over the airwaves.
I know some of these posts are amusing but the grim reality is you've had a dalliance with a turd - that it transpires - cannot be polished.
Leave the fruitless attempts at buffing or counter rebuffing to others.
He will love any reply or any response. He might be sat saying "phew, she's got the message" or he might be sat thinking "why hasn't she responded" ( because of course what the purpose of his little head pat and brush off probably was is that you start doing the pick me dance like something from Take me Out and become consumed with shagging his twunty form day and night)

And on the basis we have all worked with your lovely self to deduce that he is a twunt of epic proportions (and yes excluding his penis since it's not a composite of twunt) that's why you should do nothing.

You are so much better than the fleeting thrill you might get from sending twunty boy any form of riposte.

Just don't reply. Why engage? It won't make you feel better when he replies with something designed to be even more insulting/hurtful than the initial message.

He's trying to control you. Not responding is literally the only way you can show him that hasn't worked.