Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend nearly £2,000 on a sofa?

228 replies

SofaSofa · 21/10/2018 16:09

Just moved to a beautiful little house, just me, DD and the cat.

Earlier this year I left a DV relationship and although I am much happier I have been left with Anxiety and PTSD. I have been told to be kind to myself, although I find it difficult.

Ex took me to court for custody of our DD just weeks after we split but due to his controlling nature and the violence he has no contact with DD. I’d like to say it’s liberating to not have to see or speak to him, but actually it’s bloody hard. I constantly feel like I am failing DD and am often tempted to ignore the court order and let Ex back into her life – he does still text me and say he misses her and wants to see her, but my solicitor says he’s just feeling angry that he can no longer control me, I still feel awful.

Saying all this to give background as to why I need to spend so much.

I’ve fallen in love with a corner sofa. Fabric and Leather, in a gorgeous colour. I’ve tried it in store and it’s so comfy – I have a ratty old secondhand one Ex was given by his parents which although comfy the fabric is fading and was given while I was pregnant so has sick stains on it despite me scrubbing.

DD is 4 and is not allowed to eat on the sofa at all. She eats at the table in the kitchen or in the old non matching armchair that we were given with the sofa, which I will be keeping. Cat

The sofa is £1,799. It would be my only treat for the year. I work and get a bonus of £1,000 in November so I’d wait to buy it until that came through. I have the rest of the money in savings. I’d still be left with around £200 savings and I can build them up again slowly. I also have a credit card which is currently unused which has the amount of credit that it would take to run my house should I need it.

AIBU? Or do I just need to wait? I was never allowed to spend money on furniture during my relationship as it took money from Ex so I am unsure of spending so much on myself.

Sofa is this if anyone’s interested www.harveysfurniture.co.uk/arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/?sv_source=GOOGLE&sv_medium=cpc&sv_campaign=PLA_Corner_Sofas_HIGH&sv_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&&gclid=CjwKCAjwx7DeBRBJEiwA9MeX_HBBcSSnKx3eN9X0xh5niNojbgdh7_U3OiaUgM-CIvcGnK9ZxjxG6RoCS2gQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CNHrhN3kl94CFcKB3god3fsLYg#arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/details/16006-16109/

OP posts:
Bluelady · 22/10/2018 12:47

You do know shrouds don't have pockets, speakout?

PaintingOwls · 22/10/2018 12:47

I would spend £2,000 on a sofa, but not that sofa.

But if you love it, want it and can afford it then go for it.

speakout · 22/10/2018 13:09

You do know shrouds don't have pockets, speakout?

My saving are paying for University and a nice deposit for my children when they buy a home.

Dungeondragon15 · 22/10/2018 14:30

I have 100 times what the OP has in savings- I wouldn't dream of wasting £1800 on a sofa

We all have different priorities though don't we? I wouldn't dream of sitting on a crap second hand sofa if I had plenty of savings as you seem to do. I'm sure there are plenty of things you buy that I would consider a waste of money though.

Dungeondragon15 · 22/10/2018 14:35

My saving are paying for University and a nice deposit for my children when they buy a home.

So you think OP should sit on crap second hand sofas so that she can give her child money to buy a house in the future?!

davisday · 22/10/2018 14:39

I have 100 times what the OP has in savings- I wouldn't dream of wasting £1800 on a sofa

That juts makes me quite sad. All that money in the bank, too mean to buy a

Holdingonbarely · 22/10/2018 14:49

@speakout
What if you’ve just come out of an abusube relatuonship? What if you needed something to make you feel happy and content.
If I had enough in savings for houses and thousands in university fees I would probably keep it aside. But she doesn’t. She has 2k
Only really Enough for a sofa, she’s hardly in a dilemma about wether to be able to help her kids through uni or go buy a sofa. That’s such a goady fucker thing to say

Knittedfairies · 22/10/2018 14:51

This is about more than a new sofa; it’s about freedom from a relationship that went wrong, and having a choice. If you love it OP, buy it. I do wonder about the hole it will make it your savings though; £200 isn’t much of a cushion - it’s only a boiler or washing machine repair away from nothing. Have you considered a new, but cheaper, sofa until you’ve got more savings?

loubielou31 · 22/10/2018 14:55

I would buy the sofa! (I have assumed that you can afford it and not put yourself into debt) it will last for years (my sofa cost that much and is going strong 12 years later unlike the cheaper IKEA chairs!) It will make you feel happy every time you sit down! Check for a deal and then get it ordered.

BlueEyedPersephone · 22/10/2018 15:06

I would buy the sofa on interest free credit , use the money I was going to pay cash for it to pay it off over the three years therefore having it in the bank for emergencies should they arise.

LaurieMarlow · 22/10/2018 15:07

This is about more than a new sofa; it’s about freedom from a relationship that went wrong, and having a choice

Sure, but it should also be about the importance of financial security, now that the OP is on her own. There will be much cheaper ways to celebrate her freedom.

I'm quite shocked actually, that so many are advising the OP to buy it in circumstances that will leave her with just £200 in savings. That doesn't strike me as financially responsible at all.

What happens if the OP loses her job, is ill for a period, has an unexpected expense? People should have a safety net before buying expensive furniture.

BlueEyedPersephone · 22/10/2018 15:07

@SofaSofa btw you are so lucky to have a feline master who does not scratch !!😱

Bluelady · 22/10/2018 15:11

We're not advising that, Laurie. Most of us are advising her to go the 0% finance route and leave her savings where they are.

tillytoodles1 · 22/10/2018 15:38

My son has a similar sofa. It cost a fortune, and a year on, it's really soft and uncomfortable,

LaurieMarlow · 22/10/2018 15:41

But that's not much better, she's still spending £2000 in the form of increased monthly outgoings.

It's the classic consumerist trap. You get a brief thrill out of buying something new and expensive, but that prevents you from laying down and accumulating money that provides you with security, freedom and choices in the longer term.

CandyCreeper · 22/10/2018 15:45

its awful sorry

SoyDora · 22/10/2018 15:46

^ I don’t think she cares what you think of the sofa itself.

SpannerH · 22/10/2018 15:58

I have just spent 3k on a sofa, it nearly gave me a heart attack and I thought my DM&D would have a fit but they just said its about time! they think you buy decent and look after it and basically said the price of the sofa would work itself out with all the rubbish ones I would end up buying instead plus this could last me 20+ years (goes with everything and is leather with lifetime guarantee and accidental damage covered) I felt better after that. If you want it, get it.

Bluelady · 22/10/2018 16:00

Personally I think accumulating money for the sake of it is pointless. Have a cushion for unforeseen events by all means. Save up for something specific, of course. Hoard money for no purpose, why? And that hoarding becomes addictive. People do without things that would enhance their lives so they can see the 0s pile up on their bank statements. Seems a pretty joyless existence to me.

OutPinked · 22/10/2018 16:02

I wouldn’t personally unless I had an awful lot of disposable income and it doesn’t sound as though you do. The £1000 bonus could go on a holiday or towards Christmas presents!

I suppose everyone has different priorities but that is an insane amount to spend on a sofa imo, you can get a car for that much.

OutPinked · 22/10/2018 16:03

Also sofas go out of fashion and they naturally get worn down. This isn’t an investment that will last you for a decade or more or will help you in some way for work purposes like a laptop/computer might. It’s just something to sit on and it will likely look dated within five years.

WailingWinteriscomingbella · 22/10/2018 16:04

If you want the sofa get the sofa, you only regret the things you don't do in life as the saying goes.

LaurieMarlow · 22/10/2018 16:21

Personally I think accumulating money for the sake of it is pointless

All I can say to this is that it's a lovely feeling to not worry about unexpected expenses, to take a break from your job if you feel like it, to go on holiday when and where you like, to know that you'll be able to take advantage of any opportunities that come your way, to be confident your DC will be provided for.

I couldn't live hand to mouth (or close to it() that's just miserable.

But each to his own.

Gilead · 22/10/2018 16:27

Go for it. I came out of a similar relationship. I have new bedding and a new sofa. It's mine, I chose it. Nobody has yelled at me for getting the wrong colour (despite choosing it with me), nobody has set me up to shout at me for it being wrong, nobody has forced me to put throws over it because it's so offensive and I bloody love it. It was not far off the price of yours, it doubles as a sofa bed when family stay. I have two dogs and a dd with disabilities, it's fine. This is about what you want without that being taken away or diminished in any way whatosoever. Enjoy! Flowers

TheViceOfReason · 22/10/2018 16:32

OP - you should spend YOUR money on what YOU want.

That said... if you spend that money on the sofa, is their a risk you will run into difficulties if you had to take time off work / replace a broken appliance etc if you have no fall back?

If so, it would be worth considering the 0% finance offer - or holding off, keep your "emergency pot" safe and save up for a sofa.