To spend nearly £2,000 on a sofa?

[SofaSofa]

Just moved to a beautiful little house, just me, DD and the cat.

Earlier this year I left a DV relationship and although I am much happier I have been left with Anxiety and PTSD. I have been told to be kind to myself, although I find it difficult.

Ex took me to court for custody of our DD just weeks after we split but due to his controlling nature and the violence he has no contact with DD. I’d like to say it’s liberating to not have to see or speak to him, but actually it’s bloody hard. I constantly feel like I am failing DD and am often tempted to ignore the court order and let Ex back into her life – he does still text me and say he misses her and wants to see her, but my solicitor says he’s just feeling angry that he can no longer control me, I still feel awful.

Saying all this to give background as to why I need to spend so much.

I’ve fallen in love with a corner sofa. Fabric and Leather, in a gorgeous colour. I’ve tried it in store and it’s so comfy – I have a ratty old secondhand one Ex was given by his parents which although comfy the fabric is fading and was given while I was pregnant so has sick stains on it despite me scrubbing.

DD is 4 and is not allowed to eat on the sofa at all. She eats at the table in the kitchen or in the old non matching armchair that we were given with the sofa, which I will be keeping. Cat

The sofa is £1,799. It would be my only treat for the year. I work and get a bonus of £1,000 in November so I’d wait to buy it until that came through. I have the rest of the money in savings. I’d still be left with around £200 savings and I can build them up again slowly. I also have a credit card which is currently unused which has the amount of credit that it would take to run my house should I need it.

AIBU? Or do I just need to wait? I was never allowed to spend money on furniture during my relationship as it took money from Ex so I am unsure of spending so much on myself.

Sofa is this if anyone’s interested www.harveysfurniture.co.uk/arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/?sv_source=GOOGLE&sv_medium=cpc&sv_campaign=PLA_Corner_Sofas_HIGH&sv_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&&gclid=CjwKCAjwx7DeBRBJEiwA9MeX_HBBcSSnKx3eN9X0xh5niNojbgdh7_U3OiaUgM-CIvcGnK9ZxjxG6RoCS2gQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CNHrhN3kl94CFcKB3god3fsLYg#arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/details/16006-16109/

The sofa would leave me with £200 in savings. I am not living paycheck to paycheck as I am able to save.

Live in quite a cheap area, and earn about £21k a year, doesn't sound much but I don't panic if I have an expensive shopping week or the washer breaks and I have the credit card if I need it.

Could do interest free finance, maybe pay half or a quarter and finance the rest?

Is that an affiliate link?

I honestly hate to think of anyone opening themselves up to the judgement of complete strangers in this way.

OP it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You are a free human being and are completely allowed to decide for yourself. You don't need to justify your decision to anyone else. Truly.

She wants the sofa. It will enhance HER life, you have other priorities, speakout, a nice sofa is HER priority. It will symblise her new found independence and throwing the old one out is symbolically removing her ex from her life.

I totally get it, OP.

It;s a fucking sofa
It will be lovely for the first few weeks, but then what?

No that's not true. We've spent a lot more that £2 on sofas and furniture over the years and they are still in good condition and are so comfy.

This is more than just about the sofa, it's about the OP choosing something for herself, being in control and not beholden to her ex.

Obviously spent a lot more than £2 on a sofa 😛 should be 2k obv

I would buy it as it doesn’t sound as if it would put you into any financial difficulties and you deserve it but could you not take advantage of the interest free credit?

Xpost with Bluelady, totally agree with you Mrs.

My lovely sofas still make me happy, a year on

£200 is cutting it a bit fine in the saving department. Are these savings for treats? If so, then go for it.

If it's savings for if something goes wrong, I'd wait or try and find something else.

Vile sofa. I hate that coudrouy look. Looks dingy real quick.

Think this is an ad

Come on Toughtips ( apt name there ) the OP wasn't asking an opinion on that sofa. No need for your input here.

I like to have savings for emergencies but I would still buy it if I really liked it. You currently earn more than you spend, still have £200 plus a credit card should any unforeseen expenses crop up.
I don't agree with those who suggest you should buy a cheaper sofa is it won't be as comfortable or last as long.

We spent that much on ours almost two years ago and never regretted it - it’s a leather recliner and so comfy! Definitely treat yourself if you can afford it, you deserve to have a home you feel safe AND comfortable in.

See if they can do a deal for you on price - we went to Furniture Village in December and told them we were planning to wait for Jan sales, they promptly knocked a chunk off the price and gave us a guarantee that if it was on sale cheaper in Jan they would refund the difference (it wasn’t).

Also have a look at interest free finance - we were planning to pay for ours out of savings but as it was interest free it worked out better to do that and keep our savings where they were. Paid deposit plus £100/month.

Does it have slots for drink containers? On a sofa? Have never seen that.

Blimmey @Toughtips, who poked you in the eye?
Nobody asked if you liked the sofa.

My sofa was just a bit over 2 grand 25 years ago.Its still o.k but slightly worn in places.I think you get what you pay for with sofas.
I'd buy it now outright and ask for a further discount for cash. I'm really cheeky so I'd say £1200 now and get the money out. See how much off you can get, I'm telling you, you wont get out of that shop without the sofa and a big discount off it.

I want to say do it OP you deserve it- it sounds like you do and huge well done to you for getting out of that situation- BUT, I wouldn't, unless this is not a lot of money to you. If you're relying on money you don't yet have and still would use savings it just doesn't seem sensible bearing in mind it's a sofa. A lovely one but still, a sofa. It would worry me that your backup savings would only be £200 And after that your backup is a credit card.
I've never had a sofa that lasted years and years and stayed in fantastic condition, they always seem end up stained with kids and pets no matter what you tell yourself will happen, or a bit misshapen. I'm happy to accept in my case it's because I'm lazy and don't look after them excessively but who has the time!
I'd be keeping money in savings until I had enough outright and still had ample savings, or buying something smaller as a token if it feels an important gesture for yourself. You don't need to compromise savings to prove to yourself you can do what you want with your money, you are free and it's yours to do whatever the heck you like with now, that is no less true if you are being frugal. Any money saved would be because you want to, for your financial security or for your DD or even holidays etc. For me both would be a priority. If you're renting I'd also be cautious, it's a big sofa and if you ended up having to move (landlord selling, landlord bankrupt etc) that might not fit in a smaller place.

You absolutely deserve happiness and a treat and to enjoy your freedom with your DD. Knowing it's your opinion and decision that matters now is the most important thing. Wishing you the best!

Definitely do it. It will be so worth it. We spent £000's on our sofas 18 years ago and they are still going strong. Everyone that sits on them comments on how comfy they are. I know they will need replacing soon but can't bear the thought!

QuaterMiss

I honestly hate to think of anyone opening themselves up to the judgement of complete strangers in this way.

But the OP asked.

My view is as valid as yours.

I think chucking £2K on a sofa you can't afford is crazy.

It is a burden of debt.

If the OP will be left with only £200 in savings then money must be tight.

Paying off a sofa will add to that stress.

I understand the new life/new optimism but that can be done in other ways.

Is that an affiliate link?

MN turn everything into an affiliate link, it's not the OP doing it.

OP if you can afford it and it will give you and DD joy buy it. Good advice about waiting for the January sales though.

Anyone would think OP was talking about a 2k handbag.. It's a sofa which is an (I think) essential - good one will last a couple of decades at least.

I think if you absolutely love something and you can afford it then you should get it. That's so much better than frittering money away on lots of things you don't like as much, just because they're cheap. It's good to buy good quality things that will last a long time, maybe a lifetime.

How mean and rude whoever commented on the sofa. OP this decision is allllll yours! So whatever you decide, own it! (The decision, not the sofa....unless that’s your decision )