Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend nearly £2,000 on a sofa?

228 replies

SofaSofa · 21/10/2018 16:09

Just moved to a beautiful little house, just me, DD and the cat.

Earlier this year I left a DV relationship and although I am much happier I have been left with Anxiety and PTSD. I have been told to be kind to myself, although I find it difficult.

Ex took me to court for custody of our DD just weeks after we split but due to his controlling nature and the violence he has no contact with DD. I’d like to say it’s liberating to not have to see or speak to him, but actually it’s bloody hard. I constantly feel like I am failing DD and am often tempted to ignore the court order and let Ex back into her life – he does still text me and say he misses her and wants to see her, but my solicitor says he’s just feeling angry that he can no longer control me, I still feel awful.

Saying all this to give background as to why I need to spend so much.

I’ve fallen in love with a corner sofa. Fabric and Leather, in a gorgeous colour. I’ve tried it in store and it’s so comfy – I have a ratty old secondhand one Ex was given by his parents which although comfy the fabric is fading and was given while I was pregnant so has sick stains on it despite me scrubbing.

DD is 4 and is not allowed to eat on the sofa at all. She eats at the table in the kitchen or in the old non matching armchair that we were given with the sofa, which I will be keeping. Cat

The sofa is £1,799. It would be my only treat for the year. I work and get a bonus of £1,000 in November so I’d wait to buy it until that came through. I have the rest of the money in savings. I’d still be left with around £200 savings and I can build them up again slowly. I also have a credit card which is currently unused which has the amount of credit that it would take to run my house should I need it.

AIBU? Or do I just need to wait? I was never allowed to spend money on furniture during my relationship as it took money from Ex so I am unsure of spending so much on myself.

Sofa is this if anyone’s interested www.harveysfurniture.co.uk/arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/?sv_source=GOOGLE&sv_medium=cpc&sv_campaign=PLA_Corner_Sofas_HIGH&sv_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&&gclid=CjwKCAjwx7DeBRBJEiwA9MeX_HBBcSSnKx3eN9X0xh5niNojbgdh7_U3OiaUgM-CIvcGnK9ZxjxG6RoCS2gQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CNHrhN3kl94CFcKB3god3fsLYg#arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/details/16006-16109/

OP posts:
Icklepup · 21/10/2018 22:36

I would get it if I were you but the sofa is horrible!!

cl61reb · 21/10/2018 22:37

Do it!!! You only live once!!!

Ontheboardwalk · 21/10/2018 22:39

Splash the cash, it’s your decision now. Go for it

Just double check the measurements and what happens if they can’t get it into the room.

skybluee · 21/10/2018 22:39

OP, personally I think you would be better off putting the money aside into a savings account or an emergency fund and letting it build up to a few thousand and using money AFTER that is set aside and secure for the sofa. You never know what may happen down the road.

However, it is your choice.

pinkunicorn20 · 21/10/2018 22:40

@isseywithcats I have the same sofa in a tan colour, electric recliners with matching armchair.
Comfiest sofa ever!!!

Well worth the price tag

Josiebloggs · 21/10/2018 22:58

Get the sofa if you want to.
If you get it when your sitting on your chosen sofa that you chose to buy with your money consider making a similar choice about your phone number.
If the sofa seems a massive decision maybe consider changing your phone number first, I feel maybe decisions like the sofa would be clearer without contact.
Congratulation on escaping the Ex and surviving family court and protecting you DC. If you're capable of that, you are capable of anything.

Dickybow321 · 21/10/2018 23:42

£2k is a normal amount for a sofa, so I don't understand the '£2k for a sofa?! 😱' comments.

Also OP posted the link so basically invited comments on the choice of sofa. Especially as this is in AIBU. Sorry OP but I think YABU.... that sofa is just not nice at all. It looks cheap. Have you searched for its equivalent on ebay? I bet you could find it for £500.

bowdownbeforelokitty · 22/10/2018 01:00

I would be thinking Christmas is coming up and maybe the money could be better spent making her first Christmas in the house enjoyable and a few activities, and maybe set some aside for savings next year or little holidays. If your still set on the Sofa it will still be available next year.

I get that there a specific reason your making it such a big priority because it represents something more than just a piece of furniture? It represents you having the freedom of being able to make large purchases on your own and making your own choices.

I just hope that if you go ahead and get it right now that once it's in your home, whatever feeling you needed it to give you doesn't instantly disappear. You may be sitting on the sofa a week later thinking "Shit I just paid XXXXX for this Sofa and it hasn't changed a thing".

MrsT4 · 22/10/2018 01:15

I think if you want it, get it!

My sis has this exact sofa, I wasn't keen when she showed me the pictures, but it's lovely in the flesh, so to speak.

Have you measured to make sure it will fit? Bear in mind it's a pretty big sofa!

Laureline · 22/10/2018 02:42

Absolutely not. 200 pounds left in savings is not enough. Relying on a credit card = beginning of debt spiral.

If I were you, I’d first build up an emergency fund (6 months of living expenses) and then and only then save the cash for a sofa.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 22/10/2018 05:07

I think it's lovely especially in the coffee/walnut Smile.

If you love it then get it Sofa though rather than eat into such a large chunk of savings I'd pay a deposit and go with the 0% finance option. It's not costing you any more and you have the security of money in the bank if you need it.

I don't think £1800 is overly expensive for a sofa anyway, after all you expect to have it for years. With furniture I'm prepared to pay for the things I really like as who wants to spend the next 15/20 years looking at something that wasn't quite what you really loved and wanted?

There are worse things you can spend money on than making your living space comfortable and pleasant. And yes I KNOW not everyone has the option to do that but Op can so no reason she shouldn't.

BazingaEureka · 22/10/2018 05:43

Personally, after buying a corner group I’ve found that no one can actually sit in the L part. Your legs get all tangled. But you don’t have to only like what I like.

If you do get it, use the 24 month interest free option. Keep that bonus untouched until you’ve paid it off, then you will have the sofa and the bonus.

luckylavender · 22/10/2018 05:52

I would definitely do it. You deserve it & you're thinking it through very carefully. It will bring you joy.

WhiteDust · 22/10/2018 06:02

It's HUGE!
Will it fill up the whole room? Measure carefully.

speakout · 22/10/2018 07:17

The sofa is horrible BTW.

Thick cord- looks like something from a cheap night club. Tacky.

Antigon · 22/10/2018 07:52

There's nothing wrinh with that sofa. Lots of people want to be cosy and comfortable on their sofa, not sitting on a showpiece.

OP, what about this one from DFS, it's half price at £799. Not reclinable but looks very comfortable.

www.dfs.co.uk/arthur/rth2zasms

Antigon · 22/10/2018 07:56

Or this one that's sililar to the one you like (big, corner, recining) is £1399 at DFS.

www.dfs.co.uk/parlow/plw13dazf-1

KinCat · 22/10/2018 08:01

Go for it! You'll sit on it everyday and get lots of use out of it. I would say though, my fil spent a crazy amount of money on a sofa and I'm a little afraid to sit on it!

TefalTester123 · 22/10/2018 08:11

Savings that cover you for 6 months should be a priority. Try ebay for a good second hand one, just filter by those that are near to you and something suitable will come up, especially at this time of year when lots of people get new ones before Christmas.

Dungeondragon15 · 22/10/2018 11:02

Savings that cover you for 6 months should be a priority.

That would depend on what OP's employer provides in terms of sickness benefits and on whether she has insurance.Buying crappy second hand sofas that will then need to be replaced because they are uncomfortable or look crap just so you can sit on piles of money could be a false economy.

Bluelady · 22/10/2018 11:31

OP, my dad's mantra was "Buy cheap, buy twice", he's been proved right countless times over the years.

ExplodedPeach · 22/10/2018 11:45

No chance would I spend 1800 on a sofa if it would only leave me with £200 in savings. Madness. If you can't afford to buy something twice, you can't afford it, IMO. (obviously sometimes you have to break this rule for essentials!)

LaurieMarlow · 22/10/2018 12:32

It is ludicrous to suggest that you couldn't get a perfectly serviceable, comfortable, decent looking sofa for considerably less than the OP is suggesting.

Being left with just £200 in savings would scare the crap out of me.

speakout · 22/10/2018 12:40

LaurieMarlow

I agree.

I have 100 times what the OP has in savings- I wouldn't dream of wasting £1800 on a sofa.

SoyDora · 22/10/2018 12:41

I have 100 times what the OP has in savings- I wouldn't dream of wasting £1800 on a sofa

Good for you! That’s great. I would. And my sofa makes me happy.