To spend nearly £2,000 on a sofa?

[SofaSofa]

Just moved to a beautiful little house, just me, DD and the cat.

Earlier this year I left a DV relationship and although I am much happier I have been left with Anxiety and PTSD. I have been told to be kind to myself, although I find it difficult.

Ex took me to court for custody of our DD just weeks after we split but due to his controlling nature and the violence he has no contact with DD. I’d like to say it’s liberating to not have to see or speak to him, but actually it’s bloody hard. I constantly feel like I am failing DD and am often tempted to ignore the court order and let Ex back into her life – he does still text me and say he misses her and wants to see her, but my solicitor says he’s just feeling angry that he can no longer control me, I still feel awful.

Saying all this to give background as to why I need to spend so much.

I’ve fallen in love with a corner sofa. Fabric and Leather, in a gorgeous colour. I’ve tried it in store and it’s so comfy – I have a ratty old secondhand one Ex was given by his parents which although comfy the fabric is fading and was given while I was pregnant so has sick stains on it despite me scrubbing.

DD is 4 and is not allowed to eat on the sofa at all. She eats at the table in the kitchen or in the old non matching armchair that we were given with the sofa, which I will be keeping. Cat

The sofa is £1,799. It would be my only treat for the year. I work and get a bonus of £1,000 in November so I’d wait to buy it until that came through. I have the rest of the money in savings. I’d still be left with around £200 savings and I can build them up again slowly. I also have a credit card which is currently unused which has the amount of credit that it would take to run my house should I need it.

AIBU? Or do I just need to wait? I was never allowed to spend money on furniture during my relationship as it took money from Ex so I am unsure of spending so much on myself.

Sofa is this if anyone’s interested www.harveysfurniture.co.uk/arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/?sv_source=GOOGLE&sv_medium=cpc&sv_campaign=PLA_Corner_Sofas_HIGH&sv_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&&gclid=CjwKCAjwx7DeBRBJEiwA9MeX_HBBcSSnKx3eN9X0xh5niNojbgdh7_U3OiaUgM-CIvcGnK9ZxjxG6RoCS2gQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CNHrhN3kl94CFcKB3god3fsLYg#arlington-left-hand-facing-corner-group-with-chaise-media-tray/details/16006-16109/

It's not to fill an emotional hole. It's to celebrate liberation.

I think if you buy it, it will be symbolic for you, and something to be proud of. It’s a fresh start of your own.

Redexpat’s dad’s tip about mapping it out in newspaper is sensible, and it’s worth being a bit savvy with the timing, but I’d go for it.

The sofa will feel lovely.
When new, fabulous.
In three months time, brilliant.
I six months time OK.
In nine months time ( and a little wear by then) - quite ordinary.

The thrill will have gone.

But the debt will remain.

Do you suck the joy out of everything, speakout?

If you want it, you have space for it and cash for it... what does it matter what anyone on here thinks?

You really don’t need validation on your furniture, you’re allowed to just buy it if you want you know... you realise even by asking, you’re still giving your ex headspace by thinking you wanting to spend your own money on something is something you need permission for?

Why are people on mumsnet obsessed with scrimping and hoarding thousands of £s savings and not buying nice things !?!??

Buy it! You need to feel comfortable at home and you deserve it.

Bluelady

Quite the opposite.

Why burden yourself with debt?

Only you can decide if it's in your budget. Personally I wouldn't, but I don't like leather. Whatever you do don't ever borrow for furniture, circumstances can change and a manageable monthly payment causes major debt problems - do check out local charity run furniture shops, got a pair of sofas for £50 each (over £1000 new) and after a professional clean (£62) they are good as new - I can afford new, but I prefer to pay for my daughters university fees so she doesn't get into debt

Why are people on mumsnet obsessed with scrimping and hoarding thousands of £s savings and not buying nice things !?!??

For the future? For protection? To help kids through university?

My DDs University halls cost £680 a month. Just for rent.

We spent 1100 on a gorgeous orange sofa with foot pouffe. I wanted a corner one, but wouldn’t have fit into our flat.

It is so comfortable and brings us joy. I love being at home and curling up with DH and the cats on it. It was supposed to be 2k but stalked it until it went into the sale.

If you’re prepared to wait, it could come right down - we ordered ours in Jan this year and it arrived mid Feb.

Nomorewashing -because shit - car repairs, sickness, fire, notice of eviction, relationship breakdown, redundancy- happens. Nothing pisses me off more than people who dont seem to be aware of this possibility, then expect the world to bail them out of the mess they've made (I dont mean you OP).

In nine months time ( and a little wear by then) - quite ordinary.

For a sofa hmmm. I still love mine three years on. It’s not like op is getting into debt.

The sofa would leave me with £200 in savings. I am not living paycheck to paycheck as I am able to save.

Congratulations on getting shot of your ex. Onwards and upwards!

I wouldn't leave myself with only £200 in savings. You never know what unexpected expenses may crop up. The interest free credit card sounds like a good idea.

Why are people on mumsnet obsessed with scrimping and hoarding thousands of £s savings and not buying nice things !?!??

Because you can lose a job. Get ill. Have to move house. Have unexpected expenses. Seriously don't underestimate the shit that comes from illness or an accident. Even something like a car crash.

Having to rely on benefits is fraught with uncertainty and delays. And mistakes. You will need a cushion against that.

There are ways to balance saving and spending.

Do you rent? I ask this because if you do it's worth considering if this sofa would fit if you had to move. We rent and have moved 5 times in 15 years and only once through choice. A corner sofa brought for one room certainly wouldn't have fitted the other 4 living rooms we've had.

You should absolutely buy a new sofa if you want to, but do consider you'll have it for the next 10 yrs or more.

Definitely think you should get it on 0% finance. Or wait for a bank holiday sale or something, I never thought anyone bought anything in Harvey’s that wasn’t in the half price sale!
Having something nice that is your own is really happy making. And the old sofa symbolises your ex.

indieshuffle

Totally agree.
Saving give security.

Yes savings give security but even with a whole load of savings life can throw you under the bus (as we found out when we had several huge house disasters in the same year - roof, front door, guttering- all had various problems and needed replacing and weren’t covered by our otherwise very good house insurance).

Sometimes you need to live a little otherwise you can end up being one of those very old people who die with millions in the bank whilst living like you’re on the breadline (dhs family has had several of these types - not millions but at least ££££).

Meant to say, we had savings. But even our savings weren’t enough. We ended up in debt just to cover everything.

We recently bought our sofas on 0% finance. We will enjoy them for the time it takes to pay them off so it’s worth it to us.

How much debt would you have been in if you hadnt had savings though Fairy ?

I think you deserve this.

Noticed they are doing 0% finance. You could keep your bonus/savings as a cushion

We had to move house for DH’s job a couple of year’s ago and needed to get new furniture fast. We walked into a showroom and got an ex-display set (3 seater, 2 seater, armchair and footstool) for a steal on interest free credit for 24 months.

It was such a godsend- we had a financial cushion for moving and paid off sofa whilst building up savings over the next 24 months. Last payment comes out in December and sofas still look fab!

We had several thousand. The debt went into 20k so our savings were a drop in the ocean.

We still save but I am very aware of “living in the moment” and also due to my own health issues - chronic autoimmune conditions and ds autism- I try to focus on enjoying life now, doing things that make us happy and make (at the risk of sounding cheesy) memories. Those are the things that are important to me.

And yes we do have a lot of debt but most people- outside of mumsnet world- do. We just keep chipping away at it.

I found it difficult to make certain decisions after splitting with my controlling Ex. I was left surrounded with unwanted furniture he'd mostly chosen. It was good quality but not to my taste.

I couldn't afford to buy everything new but for my peace of mind I decided to get rid of all the associated bad memories by gradually replacing all of. I don't regret getting rid of any of it.

Others said I i didn't need to but I really feel that I did. My most expensive purchase initially gave me doubts but I now feel the debt was worth it and helped me recover.

If you want it and can afford it (the repayments), then just do it.

£1800 isn’t horrendous for a big sofa.

But as others have advised, do some measuring and make sure it won’t dwarf your living room, if it does it will just look terrible and you will hate it!

So pleased you’re rid of your ex! That will have taken some doing

I’m a no to £1799 on a sofa if it leaves you with £200 in savings. That’s just too precarious for me. I’d certainly do the interest free if was going to get it, at least.

You can savour the fact that you can now make the choices - whilst still deciding that it’s too expensive right now.

There are always sofas, and there are always sofa sales. You heard the joke about DFS? Only 2 sales a year. Once from Mar-Sep, one from Oct-Feb (I know it’s not DFS, but sofas elsewhere are on constant ‘sale’)

Keep saving, and keep watching the price of it. Whenever you see a sofa that’s “half price” remember that it really isn’t.