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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be saddened by some posters on here

150 replies

looneymoons · 20/10/2018 21:01

I'm hoping these posters are just the minority on here and in real life, but it really saddens me to read incredibly nasty posts on some threads. Threads where the OP is only giving us a snippet of their lives and where they're looking for a bit of advice on here.

In real live would these people actually behave like this to someone in their hour of need?

Do people not think that the OP may be depressed and that nasty comments could be something that pushes them over the edge? Do they even care?

Please give me some faith in humanity and tell me that these posters are, thankfully, a rarity.

OP posts:
Calzone · 20/10/2018 21:02

Mumsnet is ludicrous these days.

I’m actually embarrassed at some posters and their comments.

HurrahMoaningMyrtle · 20/10/2018 21:04

Sometimes I think there's a competition to see who can be the most outraged, it's ridiculous.
Or ppl just don't RTFT and don't realise they're sticking the boot in?

Hezz · 20/10/2018 21:06

Yes there are some absolute horrors on here.

I feel sorry for them, point scoring on an anonymous forum. Pathetic isn't it?

RLOU30 · 20/10/2018 21:08

It really is terrible. Someone will probably be along to comment on your thread telling you that if you can’t take it head over to netmums etc

Frogscotch7 · 20/10/2018 21:09

Agreed and it often brings me down just reading a lot of the comments. I’d just suggest OP that if you find yourself affected by the negativity you give yourself a break from the site for a few hours or days.

Moussemoose · 20/10/2018 21:13

Thread last night about a poster's dying mother and some posts were shocking. They were cruel, vindicated and just vile.

They claimed to be caring people but clearly they just wanted to tell us how nice they were while sticking the boot in. Just horrendous.

deste · 20/10/2018 21:14

No I agree entirely, the last few days have been bad, I even thought about writing similar. I can’t make up my mind if the worst posts have been written by immature or just horrible people. Think before you reply as you just don’t know what is going on in someone’s lives.

moredoll · 20/10/2018 21:14

Yeah, there are a lot of mean girls on here. Why bother posting if you can't offer something positive, I wonder?

TeddybearBaby · 20/10/2018 21:16

I think those posters are probably not happy so feel sorry for them. They get their power on an Internet forum. I just hope their posts are never taken to heart by someone vulnerable.

EpicDay · 20/10/2018 21:17

I agree. I often wonder whether those who work at MNHQ are affected by it. I have days where I am almost ghoulishly fascinated by how foul and judgmental some posters are.

MortyVicar · 20/10/2018 21:17

It does seem to have been exceptionally bad for over a week now. And that the OP posts in AIBU is no excuse (unfortunately you do see it - "she posted in AIBU, what does she expect?")

TeddybearBaby · 20/10/2018 21:18

That sounds hideous! I didn’t see it @Moussemoose

MissusGeneHunt · 20/10/2018 21:19

YANBU at all. There's some nasty bits of work out there. Why say anything if you can't be constructive? Reckon their lives must be very, very sad.

Original poster
looneymoons · 20/10/2018 21:19

I feel very sorry for some OPs and sometimes question what this world is coming to!

I'm sure some people may not read the thread properly - they just read what they want to read and jump on the band wagon without a thought or care for what their words can do to someone. On a live thread someone called someone a 'bitch' (thankfully that's been deleted). I'm curious as to what these sorts of people are like in real life! Thankfully no friends of mine (I hope)!

OP posts:
Original poster
looneymoons · 20/10/2018 21:23

I so hope that the OPs that fuck up sometimes (like us ALL) don't take these comments to heart. If you're at a low point in your life and you get nasty stuff thrown at you then you could really end up in a terrible place.

OP posts:
TooManyBooksTooLittleTime · 20/10/2018 21:24

I've noticed this a lot recently, most people just seem to want to tell the op they're wrong and unreasonable, even if the op sounds perfectly reasonable. Everyone seems even more keen to pile on if the op is already having a hard time in rl and could do with a bit of support/ chance to harmlessly let off steam.

Moussemoose · 20/10/2018 21:24

I was really upset by it. I know it's the internet blah blah. I know it's AIBU. I know some people are sad and want attention.

I was something that touched me. A dying parent, the press of your real life. The big issues of life and death juxtaposed against the real life we live. One person trying to do the right thing in the middle and getting mixed up.

And in the middle of that horrible, horrible people posting nasty comments.

I'll wade in about screens at the table or Brexit but somethings matter too much and hurt to read and sometimes I look at posts disagree and I move on because I have nothing useful or helpful to add.

For the life of me why you would choose to kick someone when they ask for help and are at their most vulnerable - even if you think they are wrong - is beyond me.

TatterdemalionAspie · 20/10/2018 21:25

Yup, I find so many posters on here to be nasty, mean and judgemental, and it really affects my perception of what most people are like. Sad

But then I did call a poster a nasty, spiteful judgemental cunt earlier, knowing full well that it'd get deleted straight away, just for the satisfaction of saying it. So maybe I'm no better. Blush

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 20/10/2018 21:26

It seems to get worse at the weekends, perhaps there are a lot of people with hangovers, wanting to make someone feel as bad as they do?

Willow2017 · 20/10/2018 21:27

I've noticed its been bad over the last week. Some real nasty posts all falling over themselves to kick the op on various threads, not reading the op properly or updates etc. Plus people defending behaviour they certainly wouldnt accept at home from anyone.
I would be the first to defend mn as a great place to get support but not just now. 😔

(And i called a few of them out on thier behaviour towards an op and my post got deleted!)

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 20/10/2018 21:27

*Mumsnet is ludicrous these days.

I’m actually embarrassed at some posters and their comments*

This, a 1000 times! I’ve been on here for about 10 years as much as I hate being one of those who says it was all better in the olden days, I remember coming on here and laughing so much and reading lots of interesting things. Yes there were bitchy posters but it wasn’t a pile on like it is these days. It’s almost like these days, one person will make a bitchy one liner, then a few others will think “ooh that looks clever and great!” and chip in too. It’s ridiculous.

NaiceViper · 20/10/2018 21:28

Another 'you're all bitches' thread.

Except no we're not. And it's always better to take it up on the thread itself, rather than starting the latest in the series of threads berating all and sundry for being horrible.

Anyone would think it's actually a campaign to denigrate MN and MNetters, as they come up so often.

DisappearingGirl · 20/10/2018 21:28

It's always the first page or two of threads that are the worst for this! Like they're just waiting with their fingers poised, ready to be an arse when someone vulnerable posts! After the first couple of pages some more reasonable posters usually join in :)

Juells · 20/10/2018 21:28

TBH I've noticed a lot of posts that I don't believe are from women - particularly anything where the OP is talking about a clash of interest with her DH. If she (OP) expects any kind of fair treatment she's accused of being in the wrong. There are men who amuse themselves by coming on women's forums and trolling.

BackIntoTheSun · 20/10/2018 21:29

I agree, there's a lot of posters that really seem to delight in being unnecessarily rude and putting people down over the smallest things just to feel superior

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