To be saddened by some posters on here

[looneymoons]

I'm hoping these posters are just the minority on here and in real life, but it really saddens me to read incredibly nasty posts on some threads. Threads where the OP is only giving us a snippet of their lives and where they're looking for a bit of advice on here.

In real live would these people actually behave like this to someone in their hour of need?

Do people not think that the OP may be depressed and that nasty comments could be something that pushes them over the edge? Do they even care?

Please give me some faith in humanity and tell me that these posters are, thankfully, a rarity.

I posted about my son being bullied and the 1st couple of replies were quite uncalled for. It's like there are people on here lurking to just make nasty or unnecessary comments. It is not the only time, sometimes people just need some support or advice.

OP - next time you see one of those horrible posts just have a think about whether it might not be a woman behind the posting name.

Yup. I regret posting 99% of the time because of it

I didn’t see that thread, and I’m selfishly glad because my mum died two weeks ago and I don’t think I could’ve coped with meanness in that situation.

I have been horrible to someone tonight though. In my defence, I think she was enjoying the dance. I probably shouldn’t be on here at the moment- sadness is periodically making me feel really angry and intolerant.

Couldn't agree more, the sheer nastiness I read in some posts is staggering.

Yes I also hate the 'well what do you expect, you posted in AIBU'

There are a lot of bitchy people on here, a lot of whom don't seem particularly intelligent and who just jump on the band wagon with the first bitchy comment, and often start wittering on about cancelling cheques or penis beakers as though they think relating back to popular threads will make them seem funnier (it doesn't!).

However there are still a lot of supportive, helpful, caring people on here too. I just hope that the OP's in their hour of need can recognise who is bitchy and stupid and disregard the crap they come out with. I always think the ones that are the most insistent that the op is wrong or not listening and who get into big arguements (sometimes with the op, sometimes with other posters) is the one who most needs ignoring!

Who are these people then? They have to be someone's friend, neighbour or work mate!

Should we all not be trying to treat others as we wish to be treated? Admittedly I'm far from perfect and have been known to swear behind the wheel and have a good old moan about someone, but I can't get my head around people not looking at the bigger picture when they read things on here, not being able to put themselves in the OPs shoes and not to stop and think about how what their writing could affect someone.

Like someone else here said, if I've got nothing constructive to say I won't post. I wouldn't think about writing something along the lines of "you stupid fucking bitch and shit mum".

I think what you've got to remember is that MN is the internet. I think sometimes we get carried away and think we're having a discussion with like minded sane individuals. Sometimes the person posting is a silly bored person just posting controversial opinions to get some excitement in their life. Sometimes its a very young person 17/18 who really doesn't get it but thinks they do and continues posting advice that really isn't appropriate for the situation.
Unfortunately, there is no vetting system, and MN can't know the real identities of posters. Just be careful in taking advice from MN and perhaps try to ignore the goady unhelpful comments. People also changing usernames and post on the same thread, so you think you're talking to 2 different people but actually its the same person just getting their kicks. People project a lot! you don't what you are posting that might touch a nerve with someone and so the advice they give is biased already. These posters usually have very strong voices and opinions too so if the OP is vulnerable it could tip them over the edge a bit.

Your appeal will resound with sensible posters on MN but to the trolls, bored posters etc it will make no difference. You've just got to learn to sift the chaff from the wheat.

Sorry for your loss Shockers, bereavement is very hard.

Naice
Oh get over yourself.
Stating the obvious isnt a crime.
There has been an increase in just plain nasty posts recently, people piling in on an op once one poster has said something 'sarcastic' or 'edgy' when really they are just plain horrible and it makes them feel better than op.
Nobody said everyone on mn is a bitch just that there seens to be a lot more this past week. Its not nice to see at all.

TBH I've noticed a lot of posts that I don't believe are from women - particularly anything where the OP is talking about a clash of interest with her DH. If she (OP) expects any kind of fair treatment she's accused of being in the wrong. There are men who amuse themselves by coming on women's forums and trolling.

@juells I've seen this more and more often lately and thought exactly the same thing. There are a fair few posters that I think are misogynistic men getting their kicks from being nasty to (what they assume are) women.

advice/advise? never know which is the right one, sorry.

MrsA2015 - I totally agree and have felt the sane. If someone was in a poor state mentally it really could be awful.

NaiceViper - the OP has only said some posters. It definitely isn't all, I had some lovely posters who were very supportive on my thread but just the 1st couple of posters were unpleasant.

There are some topics certain posters jump on also just for the sake of it.

They could be Russian trolls. Seriously, a lot of the nasty, racist, homophobic comments on Western social media are Russian trolls trying to destablilise the West.

They have warehouses full of trolls. They recently tried to stir up doubt in immunisations. They just want to cause chaos in the West and turn everyone against each other.

Oswald
Cos most of us are decent human beings who will offer support to someone struggling with anything.

Just because its an anonymous internet forum doesnt mean you are fair game for a bitch fest.

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/aug/23/russian-trolls-spread-vaccine-misinformation-on-twitter

There are some threads I just hide straight away. But some threads, if you've been there and done that, you think you might be able to help. Even if all you can do is send it might help. So you go on the thread and do what you can.

What pleasure do posters get from making people cry?

Like some posters are saying the initial posts can be awful and then the real MNetters get on the thread and sort it out!

advice/advise? never know which is the right one, sorry.

If you want the verb it's 's'. If you think of the verb 'revise' it might help.

So the two posters on here who can't see where I'm coming from (even just a little), think it's fine to possibly push someone over the edge by a nasty, thoughtless, backhanded comment?! Wonder if they'd still think that when they were faced with the family that the OP left behind?

There have been times where I wanted to post for a bit of advice but changed my mind last minute because of the kind of comments I'd seen on other posts.
I did post once because I was feeling very low and to be honest the majority of comment I received were supportive, there were a small percentage who were rude, nasty and uncalled for, they had searched my username and looked at previous threads I had posted and used that against me to belittle me. It put me off posting again. I changed my name and have only posted once since.
The AIBU section is the worst for It, I feel. But yes, there are alot of rude, nasty people on here and I feel maybe they just have shitty lives and it makes them feel better to put others down rather than actually have some compassion and help a fellow mumsnetter out.

looneymoons do you think the nastiness escalates when it's coming up for a full moon?

If you find it unpalatable, you do know you don’t actually have to be here?