To not feed my kids 3 meals a day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

If I feed my kids 3 meals a day, they just don't eat all of what I make them (they are 5 and almost 2). I loathe wasting food, and they probably leave about a whole meals worth altogether if I feed them 3 times a day. I usually give them a little something for breakfast, like half an apple - or if they're not hungry when they wake up they'll have something mid-morning - then the odd little snack through the day and then a full meal at dinner time. They're hungry enough by then that they'll eat it all. They never complain of being hungry and rarely ask for food.

Similarly I never have breakfast in just never hungry in a morning, I always wait til lunchtime.

AIBU to think that, for some, 3 meals a day is excessive?

I imagine it will aaaaall change come teenage years 

If your kids are happy, sleeping well and doing all the things they should be doing, there’s nothing to worry about. I hated breakfast as a.child/teenager, had to stay at the table to finish every bit on my plate that was full of food. We were rarely allowed treats. I’ve grown up to experiment a range of eating issues from severely under eating to vi ve eating.
My daughter eats when she is hungry, which is generally the usual, three times a day. She isn t at all greedy as I have never forced her to eat anything she did t want to. She is very healthy and enjoys healthy food. Every child is different.

But you choose to ignore the advice and keep banging on about BF at night as if that makes up for the lack of food during the day

No, it doesn't. With respect I know my own son and why he feeds and it's not because he is hungry

Oh and sit down and eat with them the same thing they are eating. I can't see whether you have answered whether or not you already do this sorry

Yes, bat breakfast which I don't eat (usually)

How active are they?

Very - it amazes me they don't fill their boots given how much energy they burn. We come home from school and I open the patio doors and they play until dinner time, at least 2 hours, non stop of scooting/cycling/running.

I think my kids must have heard you lot we've all polished off bacon butties this morning 😳

Ah you're getting a hard time here OP. My kid refuses all the easy healthy meals - hates eggs, not keen on toast, doesn't like beans, will throw porridge on the floor. He even turns his nose up at sandwiches. It's frustrating when they won't eat but I think it is important to offer the food anyway in the hope that something clicks one day and they start to eat properly.

DD 11, when she's at home, will eat breakfast at about 11. On school days she doesn't have anything until lunchtime. DS 7 always has breakfast. They both have lunch and dinner. You make portions that they'll eat.

Why the blushing emoji for all having eaten bacon sandwiches? There is nothing wrong or shameful or embarrassing about having a bacon sandwich for a weekend breakfast.

OP, I remember a thread a few years back that was similar. The woman talked about eating the same way that you do - troughing, pigging out, greedy etc - all ‘lighthearted’ except it wasn’t really. She genuinely considered people who eat breakfast to be greedy and she wasn’t feeding it to her children because of her own issues. Eventually she provided them with zero-fat yoghurt and berries and basically castigated herself for how greedy that was. I’m not saying you are the same, but it chimes a similar note.

Fruit isn’t filling. A piece of fruit isn’t a breakfast for a young child. It isn’t greedy to eat regular meals.

I would be very worried about sending a five year old to school on half an apple and a mid morning snack of fruit. I’d really try to establish a breakfast routine. You might have to experiment a bit to find something they will eat but it’s wortwhile.

What time would your dinner be.

I loathe wasting food, and they probably leave about a whole meals worth altogether if I feed them 3 times a day.

Whether you loathe wasting food or not,kids have to be fed.

Would you not bring their dinner time forward and let them have their main meal for lunch.Small dinner and then maybe they would eat breakfast.

My nearly 4 year old will usually eat 2 meals a day, and a snack or two. If she has porridge for breakfast (half a child's bowl with fruit) she will pick at lunch, but then eat properly at dinner time. Sometimes I still have to feed her to get to eat. She eats all her snack at nursery and would eat all the lunch there if she had it! I have no concerns about her health, she's a normal weight for her height and has lots of energy. Her 4 year old cousin eats 3 full meals and lots of snacks every day, he's taller but also normal weight and energetic. They're all different, as long as they're healthy and have a balanced diet does it really matter?

I know captain, it's tongue in cheek and not an indication of "food issues" 🙄 and I don't consider eating breakfast to be greedy, I don't eat it because I'm not hungry in the morning. Although I disagree about fruit being filling, every day I have a little platter of oranges, raspberries, apples, bananas etc and it fills me.
Anyhoo I will endeavour to make the effort at breakfast, we're off on holiday now and usually go out for breakfast I will see how well they do

To be honest, my youngest son is a terrible eater in general. I often wonder how he’s gaining waitnand not starving. He is two but his typical day consists of:

Breakfast: one slice of jam and toast and a bowl of cereal plus a glass of fresh oj. He does eat all this.

Snack: I’ll normally offer yoghurt/breadsticks and cheese/ crackers and hummus. Never gets eaten.

Lunch: I’ll typically make a sandwich with vegetable sticks, or a veggie soup and toast fingers, or ham and mushroom omlette etc. Never gets eaten, maybe one or two bites. If he’s in nursery he eats the full meal put down though and he does attend 3 days a week.

Snack: nuts/yoghurt/fruit. This does get fully eaten.

Tea: normal evening meal such as curry and rice, cottage pie and vegetable, pasta. Again, maybe three or four mouthfuls.

Supper: porridge and banana which does get eaten.

My DS ended up seeing a dietician when he was a baby as he refused to eat. The dietician asked me to look at how much he ate over a 3 or 4 day period.

Now at 17 he often misses meals when he is not hungry but will eat a massive meal when it's something he really likes.

He's like a boa constrictor - he only needs to eat a goat once a fortnight.

When he eats a lot we will note he has "eaten his goat" and not cook as much for the next few days. It's weird, I don't understand as I eat every 4 hours, but it works for him.

What sticks out for me is that you ALL have the same eating pattern. The seems more like learned behaviour rather than a natural eating pattern. My 3 DCs all have different periods of being hungry/not hungry. DS2 doesn’t really do breakfast whereas DS1 will eat and eat at breakfast.

Everyone has different eating patterns but I do feel like you have taught your kids your pattern from a very easy age so they are not used to anything else.

@BrieAndChilli no we don't have the same eating pattern at all. I just don't eat breakfast but eat well for the rest of the day, I don't really snack. I eat all my lunch and dinner though

Breast milk isn't sufficient for a 2yr old - their stores of iron have run out long before.

I’m not really sure why you’ve posted as you seem very resistant to taking in board comments. It is totally normal for kids to graze or to have variable appetites but there is something about the way you write that makes it sound a bit different. There would be easy ways to up the calories without too much change to your style of eating- eg swapping a banana for the 1/2 apple or adding some peanut butter. Instead of just a few grapes, could you add some cheese and crackers?

It is really easy for a child’s diet to be limited by what you as an adult eat. I make a conscious effort to get oily fish into my toddler as if I just left to my normal eating habits she wouldn’t get it every week. Similarly, I realised the other day she’d never have tried custard or rice pudding if she’d not been to nursery as I hate it. Most families will have similar things where their habits influence their kids diets whether they realise it or not.

Breast milk isn't sufficient for a 2yr old - their stores of iron have run out long before

Oh really!!!! I never knew. Shit. Better start feeding the boy some solid food. Where should I start?

user RTFT I am taking on comments but I'm not going to pander to the hysteria/accusations of an eating disorder/posters who've made up things to suit their own bizarre agenda. Not saying "oh god I'm such a bad parent sorry everyone" doesn't mean I haven't taken comments on board. I know my children and I know they aren't starved to death, so no I am not taking those comments suggesting they are seriously

I do agree thought that we unconsciously restrict food based on our own tastes - I don't like salmon so never used to feed it to the kids as you just don't think to buy it! I make the effort now with salmon though will cook something different for myself but I'm sure there stuff we're all missing out in because of this

What actually are they eating then?

What is the point of this thread, just to highlight how little your DC eat? Why aren't you worried your DC eat nothing until dinner?

If they are getting full quickly feed them 5 much smaller meals rather than 3 bigger ones would be my preferred option not just nothing at all. Their snacks should still be better than some grapes and their breakfast should be better than an apple. Breakfast could be an egg, small bowl of porridge, some peanut butter on toast or with the apple, slice of cheese on toast (or 1/2) not really much bigger but so much better for them.
Then a few proper protein containing snacks again like egg, hummus, cheese, ham, nut butter, yoghurt is okay plus some veggies or fruit but not just the veggies or fruit if they are not eating lunch.

Just to say re the breastfeeding - people who have never bf toddlers don't realise that it's not the same as feeding tiny babies. Toddlers do not bf overnight from.hunger, and most mothers don't expect that to fill them up!

I don't think the op is continuing to feed her 2 year old 3x a night as a meal replacement. I'm sure she knows that he no longer needs the milk for calories/ nutrition over night. However it may be serving another purpose, as in comfort, soothing, love etc etc

Gunpowder when I mentioned in conversation that I was going to bf DS2 until he was 2, she somewhat hysterically asked, "You are going to give him solids as well aren't you?" He was already on 3 solid meals a day at that point, and she'd just seen him eat lunch.

I know someone who does this. Gives her kids 2 fish fingers and a spoon of peas for tea. Never had any milk in as "they just drink it all in a day!" Well no shit! That's because there starving. Poor kids are both tiny and way smaller than their peers. Parents normal sizes tho! Makes me so mad and I feed them up at every opportunity.

YY @Mynydd I don't express so not sure what my milk production is like but it's very easy to tell that very little milk comes out with a toddler as opposed to a newborn.

He woke 5 times last night 😩 it is absolutely for comfort rather than hunger. He won't have water in the night, he's just a clingy little monkey.

Why aren't you worried your DC eat nothing until dinner?

Because they're healthy, happy, alert and energetic,And to answer your other question I have already given an example of what they eat, I'm not giving a blow by blow daily account.

If they are getting full quickly feed them 5 much smaller meals rather than 3 bigger ones would be my preferred option not just nothing at all

I don't feed them nothing at all. I do wish people would RTFT. I give them plenty of options but they only have a few mouthfuls,

GunpowderGelatine I have read all of the thread and I still don’t know why you posted. If you’re secure and happy in your choices, what was the point in the thread? I think some of the posts have been harsh but I’d be interested to know what sort of reaction you were expecting/hoping for?

@GunpowderGelatine and we are ll telling you thats not enough.

Kids dont always want to eat but food should be made available.

You are shooting down any body that doesnt agree with you.Getting snarky at people who you have asked an opinion of is frankly stupid.

I would start at the gp,or hv.Just explain that you feel they are not eating enough.

But 1/2 an apple is just not enough for breakfast,no matter how you dress it up.

So if your not worried, you think what you feed them is fine why post? I have rtft and each post is different as to what you feed them, some your just giving them 1/2 an apple, grapes and yoghurt, some they are having lunch but not eating it, some they are having proper snacks. That was why I asked for an average day.

With the breast milk if it's just for comfort Id be worried about his teeth at night, not as bad as a bottle but still putting him at risk of tooth decay. I think I'd want to look at stopping that soon.

This is an odd thread.

I would agree with a PP and look at their intake over a few days or a week. Dietitian''s always seem to recommend that. Maybe supplement with multivitamins too.

If they are growing and gaining weight with plenty of energy I can't see a huge issue tbh.

OP said she would start sitting with them at breakfast time and would see if they ate more on holiday where they have breakfast out (where I'm guessing options will be more exciting). So is taking the less hysterical advice on board.

There probably are more nutrient dense options like a boiled egg for breakfast or peanut/butter in sandwiches for lunch but if they then don't really eat this it won't up their calorie intake.