To not feed my kids 3 meals a day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

If I feed my kids 3 meals a day, they just don't eat all of what I make them (they are 5 and almost 2). I loathe wasting food, and they probably leave about a whole meals worth altogether if I feed them 3 times a day. I usually give them a little something for breakfast, like half an apple - or if they're not hungry when they wake up they'll have something mid-morning - then the odd little snack through the day and then a full meal at dinner time. They're hungry enough by then that they'll eat it all. They never complain of being hungry and rarely ask for food.

Similarly I never have breakfast in just never hungry in a morning, I always wait til lunchtime.

AIBU to think that, for some, 3 meals a day is excessive?

I imagine it will aaaaall change come teenage years 

Does the oldest attend school?
We have children in our school that come, have breakfast at school extra fruit at break time massive lunch and extra afternoon fruit
They don’t say they are hungry
They actively say they aren’t but their behaviour shows us they are.

I think they should be served 3 meals a day even if what’s on offer isn’t eaten. Children’s appetite can vary from day to day, week to week etc and you can’t always assume they won’t eat something at each meal.

DGD is served something like a weetabix or a slice of toast which she will rarely finish. An omelette and yoghurt and bit of fruit for lunch and a fish finger, veg and mash/wedges for dinner. She might only eat a few mouthfuls at one meal but at least would have the opportunity to eat more if she wanted. Every so often she will eat way more than usual. She isn’t given snacks as then won’t usually eat her next meal.

My children would not in any way cope with half an apple for breakfast and would be chewing your arm off. Do they ever say they are hungry? Might be worth going to GP to check.

Youre being massively lazy. And cheap. Your children will not be receiving a balanced diet. Yore doing something wrong. List exactly what theyre eating and drinking during the day. What is replacing nutritious meals?

That’s a very unhealthy attitude to food and a very unhealthy eating pattern I feel sorry for you children you need to engage with a heath visitor ASAP for some perspective and reasoning. Yes you are VERY unreasonable to not prepare and serve them 3 square meals a day! It’s your job as a parent to establish healthy attitudes towards eating and food, that entails serving healthy and balanced meals in an appropriate portion size. You MUST serve them a breakfast, lunch and evening meal even if they don’t finish it all they must have the opportunity to eat. Cut out all the snacks, make it clear that meals are when we eat and if they don’t eat then cover and refrigerate the meal then when they ask for snacks the proper food can be reheated or just uncovered if a sandwich or similar and offered again until they begin to realise that that is the way it is to be.
In answer to your question in all honesty yes it’s very unreasonable and sorry to say it treads a very fine line on thoughtless neglectfulness,

What are you feeding them OP? It may well be that what you deem a snack others may see as a meal.

Apple slices with peanut butter could be an adequate breakfast if they really are not hungry in the morning.

Teeny portions of regular meals may be the way to go.

I’m not sure how to say that nicely. You are crazy.
The most important meal of the day is breakfast. Children need regular meals to maintain their blood sugar levels, as their liver isn’t developed enough before they are 2.5~3yo.
But somehow yu want to give only two meals in the day to avoid washing up and wasting food?.

When the answer is simply... to give them less food?

Mind boggles really

Having just read the full thread op I just wanted to say that I think you are being given a very hard time here, and some of the comments from pp's are down right disgusting.

Op hasn't said "my children are telling me they are hungry but I can't be bothered to feed them 3 meals a day", she has said that they prefer to snack and have a big meal at the end of the day. Who the hell made the rule that it's 3 meals a day and nothing else could possibly do?!

If the children are happy and healthy, and the food they are eating is of a decent quality and balanced nutrition, then how you are feeding them is FINE!

My nearly 2 year old does not have 3 meals a day. She has breakfast, snacks on and off and still has a bottle of milk, has dinner and then milk at bed. She is HAPPY, she is HEALTHY, she is as bright as a button and eats a wide variety of foods.

3 meals a day may work for most, but it does not make it the ONLY way to eat.

Could you not give them some toast to go with their half an apple? A few carrot sticks mid morning, Scrambled egg and pitta bread and a mini yogurt for lunch and meat/fish and two veg and potato/rice or pasta and sauce for dinner would be healthy. The five year old should be eating larger portions than the two year old but surely you must know this. If kids don't get enough nutrients when they are growing they will not develop properly. Honestly pay a visit to your health visitor and ask for dietary advice for children.

Are they getting everything they need in terms of nutrition? Enough protein, calcium. fruit and veg? If so then I don’t see the issue if it works for you. Does your 5YO not have a more regimented schedule with proper lunchtime at school though?

Yes, they have their 5 a day, protein etc. DD has a school dinner but whenever I see her eating it she usually has left half

When I say snack we are talking a few grapes or a little yoghurt as opposed to chocolate etc

Re portions, I've reduced them but they only really pick at whatever I give and claim they're not hungry 🤷‍♀️ I wouldn't say they're malnourished 

As a rule I think most people over feed their kids and yours perhaps eat more suitable amounts. But the snacks do seem.kinfa pointless . I'd maybe drop them and see if that increases their appetite for meals. They won't be eating enough fat/protein if they r filling up on sugar like fruit

Okay, where is there any actual evidence that says ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’
I’m actually quite curious as to how this meal has been deemed the most important!?
As far as I am aware there is no science to actually back up this claim, infact most of the research into this shows that the time of day makes little to no difference to the uptake of vital nutrients.
Not trying to argue but I have researched as I practice intermittent fasting myself.
My kids are different, some mornings they will clear their plates and other days they will only have a bite or two. That can be said for all mealtimes though.

So do you really mean that your children may be fed at weekends:
½ apple for breakfast
a few grapes or a little yogurt as a snack
then a larger meal at dinner?

That is not enough for growing children at all - it sounds that you are approaching it from an adult perspective rather than children who are still growing bones and developing brains

My kids didn’t eat much until they were around 8, even now they are rarely hungry at breakfast. I basically did what you did, but made sure to have them sit up to the table for their snacks at close to the appropriate breakfast and lunch times. Because social conditioning takes time!

I’m terrible for snacking with my 16 month old if I feel he hasn’t eaten enough but from what you describe you are feeding your DC a very small amount and I wouldn’t be happy with my dc eating that- can you give a fuller description of what they are eating a day?

That seems like a really small amount. I think you need to up the breakfast and cut the snacks out. I’ve got a 4 year old who eats a bowl of fruit for breakfast, I prepare it the night before so I’m not faffing in the morning. Teens often start missing breakfast and that’s only because they’ll usually grab something at school during break, that’s not an option for primary children.

You might find this visual guide from the Caroline Walker Trust helpful both in terms of portion sizes and suggestions.

What else can't you be bothered with? I can only imagine.

It sounds as if you can’t be bothered giving them breakfast for a start

I've literally no idea how you've come to this conclusion

But somehow yu want to give only two meals in the day to avoid washing up and wasting food?.

Who says I didn't want to wash up? You've literally made that up 

What else can't you be bothered with? I can only imagine

ODFOD or at least say something constructive

There are more really helpful visual guides here for snacks etc produced by a charity First Steps Nutrition.

No idea what that means. Here's something constructive. You're not trying hard enough to nourish your children and you're dressing it up as a loathing for waste. You come across as lazy.

can you gives some examples of a typical days food? otherwise difficult to gauge but on the face of it, it seems you are hugely under feeding them

I think you probably do need to offer more, as they're so young.

I've ditched '3 meals a day' at weekends as mine are 10-14. They grab cereal or toast for breakfast, or make themselves pancakes/eggy bread/beans on toast if they can be bothered. Then they make themselves a sandwich or similar whenever they are hungry through the day, & I eat properly with them in the evening.

This works sensibly for us given that they have various social activities during the weekend, or might fancy a lie in - set mealtimes through the day are more faff than they're worth.

So I'm not wedded to insisting kids eat 'proper meals' 3x a day - but yours are tiny, with tiny stomachs.

I think you need to offer regular meals at that age - & if they aren't finishing what's on offer, just fridge it & go back to it for snacks, rather than offering separate snacks.