To not feed my kids 3 meals a day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

If I feed my kids 3 meals a day, they just don't eat all of what I make them (they are 5 and almost 2). I loathe wasting food, and they probably leave about a whole meals worth altogether if I feed them 3 times a day. I usually give them a little something for breakfast, like half an apple - or if they're not hungry when they wake up they'll have something mid-morning - then the odd little snack through the day and then a full meal at dinner time. They're hungry enough by then that they'll eat it all. They never complain of being hungry and rarely ask for food.

Similarly I never have breakfast in just never hungry in a morning, I always wait til lunchtime.

AIBU to think that, for some, 3 meals a day is excessive?

I imagine it will aaaaall change come teenage years 

My son doesn't eat breakfast OP. Sometimes he will ask for toast must most of the time he doesnt want to. He has a dietician for his allergies and she isn't remotely worried about this. So I'm a bit at the responses.

An almost 2yo does not need milk three times a night. That’s a sign he’s not getting enough food in the day!

I’d stop offering milk at night and tell him he’s a big boy and needs food. Then he’d be more hungry for breakfast, etc. I did that with my dd at 12 months. Are you not knackered?

Half an apple for a 5yo is mad. They haven’t eaten for 12 hours. They should be hungry...

My son doesn't eat breakfast OP. Sometimes he will ask for toast must most of the time he doesnt want to. He has a dietician for his allergies and she isn't remotely worried about this. So I'm a bit hmm at the responses

Because a kid with allergies and who may be wary of the cause of those allergies are the same as kids without them?

I think Id be really worried if my child was eating basically nothing till dinner. Your 5 yo is having half an apple, some grapes and some yoghurt before dinner? Are they not hungry? Do they have enough energy for the day? If I was going to do a one meal policy I think I'd do lunch or breakfast over dinner so they were fuelled for the day.

You need to feed your child properly, a decent breakfast, lunch and tea. They don't have to be big meals but they should be more nutritional than basically sugar, which is what your child is getting at the moment. I was expecting your snacks to be like some pitta and hummus or half a sandwich, peanut butter or something that constitutes a normal lunch for a small child not some grapes!

If you 5 yo eats at school then they are hungry at lunchtime normally, 1/2 a school dinner sounds about right bearing in mind portions normally don't vary from yr Rs to Yr 6s. I'd be surprised if they suddenly weren't hungry when they were with you. For breakfast why not do them a boiled egg and soilders, I just can't imagine half an apple satisfying anyone and giving them any energy for the rest of the day.

At that age some food will get wasted, because their appetites vary day to day quite a lot and their stomach are quite small but a full amount of food should be offered because some days they will want it

My ds6 rarely wants breakfast either, but eats a full dinner and is not at all fussy. Think the whole ‘breakfast most important meal of day’ was a bit of a advertising ruse by the cereal companies many years ago that stuck.

An almost 2yo does not need milk three times a night. That’s a sign he’s not getting enough food in the day

I know he doesn't need it, but it gives him a great deal of comfort. I don't agree that it's because he's hungry, it's because he's very clingy and would be very distressed if I refused him a feed.

Are you not knackered?

So knackered. But I'd rather be knackered and giving him that feeds that bring him comfort than refuse and get a bit more sleep.

I don't mind the breastfeeding, not really, I fed DD til she was 3.5 and we all survived!

It really doesn't seem much at all. My 4yo ds eats three meals a day and two snacks, though the afternoon snack is never much, and he'd be really grumpy if he didn't eat as much as this. My first thought was that your children must be really grumpy. Well done on still bf btw

Because a kid with allergies and who may be wary of the cause of those allergies are the same as kids without them? hmm

No but it does demonstrate that as long as they aren't going hungry, breakfast isn't necessarily such a big deal.

I was expecting your snacks to be like some pitta and hummus or half a sandwich, peanut butter or something that constitutes a normal lunch for a small child not some grapes!

As I've said already my list wasn't exhaustive, they have all of those, depending on what I have in the house.

That's another thing, my kids aren't fussy, they eat pretty much anything, just not lots of it.

But if your child is eating a normal lunch at school, often eating a sandwich at lunch and then these 'snacks' are actually fairly substantial why highlight the smallest snacks of some grapes? When in fact most of the time they are eating a fairly normal lunch for a small child, why suggest they are not?

Because dish she often just has a couple of mouthfuls and says she's full, it's not what I'd call eating a meal.

Although it may be difficult short term for you and your son, I would stop the night feeds. Both mine stopped feeding in the night at 6 months. It does sound like he is feeding out of comfort, it sounds like you need to break that cycle and offer something else, such as a favourite teddy or just try to soothe him by gently stroking his head. He may also be just thirsty, and when mine were a bit older and asked for milk in the night I gave them a beaker if water. It doesn't surprise me he's not bothered about breakfast with a tummy full of milk. Perhaps try to offer more exciting things/variety at breakfast time, mine love a croissant as a treat! I would definitely cut out all snacks too. They may be mistaking hunger for thirst so if they ask for anything inbetween meals just offer a drink.

From what you've said they could go to mid-afternoon without any protein at all. That would worry me. Do they like egg?

Breakfast being the most important meal is just made up nonsense. However, being fed enough at school will aid concentration and focus (and therefore behaviour).

An almost 2yo does not need milk three times a night. That’s a sign he’s not getting enough food in the day!

That’s a load of crap, sorry.

My toddler is fed plenty and will still feed occasionally at night. Breastfed babies/toddlers suckle for more than just nutrition.

OP there is huge variance in your different accounts of what you are feeding your children within this thread. Your children are not having enough to eat and you are selectively ignoring anyone who says this. Eating one proper meal a day is not a proper way of eating for a (small) child. You were obviously concerned enough about this to start this thread so you know this on some level.

I know he doesn't need it, but it gives him a great deal of comfort. I don't agree that it's because he's hungry, it's because he's very clingy and would be very distressed if I refused him a feed.

^ You are clearly in denial. Just to echo what has already been said, breast milk is not a nutritionally complete food for a baby who is 1 or over.

@bastardkitty I'm absolutely not ignoring people, as I've said I'm taking advice to try and up their intake, I'm just not pandering to the hysteria of some people (such as those saying I have an eating disorder and that the children are malnourished 🙄). There isn't a hidden agenda here, they are not neglected, they have small appetites. And I'm not concerned, I just wondered if I was alone on not being strictly regimented to the three meals a day

OP there is huge variance in your different accounts of what you are feeding your children within this thread

Really? Give an example

You are clearly in denial. Just to echo what has already been said, breast milk is not a nutritionally complete food for a baby who is 1 or over.

You are very patronising. I didn't say it was a complete meal, I'm not an idiot, and I'm now way have ever expressed I see this as a meal. However it is still very good for him to have breastmilk, it gives him plenty of nutrients and numerous benefits and like with DD I'll carry on til he decides enough is enough.

And to answer a PP question, we don't give them cow's milk as a drink, just water or juice.

OP you asked AIBU not to feed my kids 3 meals a day and the overwhelming response has been yes, YABU. But you choose to ignore the advice and keep banging on about BF at night as if that makes up for the lack of food during the day.
Sit down with your DC at mealtimes and chat to them or read them a story. Make mealtimes a pleasure for them and for goodness sake give them more food.

So what does an average day look like?

Ignore me. Thread wasn’t displaying properly/I was being blind, not sure which.

You need to give them 3 proper meals a day even if they are smaller and cut snacks out. My nearly 2 and 6 year old have 2 weetabix for breakfast at 7a plus a drink, normally snack of fruit around 10 am, lunch which tends to be a one slice of bread sandwiches for the youngest one and something else like ham, cheese snacks and 2 slices of bread for the oldest, plus yoghurts. They tend to get crisps around 3 then proper dinner at 5.30om. The youngest is a big eater but not overweight at all and my eldest is on the smallest percentile for weight. I think your under feeding them to be honest.

Has everyone missed where she says she makes them a sandwich or similar for lunch? That’s a perfectly normal meal for lunch.
If my children were a bit rubbish at breakfast and then I made them a sandwich and then dinner I wouldn’t class that as only one meal.

A lot of food can be saved if you're worried of wasting it. If it's uneaten sandwiches, simply wrap them and refrigerate for another day before you throw, and cooked meals can be chilled and reheated too. Or serve yourself from separate bowls so leftovers can be reused again or towards other dishes.
I doubt your children are malnourished but maybe they are just used to smaller portions.
I'd add up the snacks and serve them equivalent at regular meal times instead.
If you wish to breastfeed for comfort then that's entirely up to you both.
Don't worry so much,you're doing fine.

I have read the whole thread. Here are my thoughts for things you might want to think about.

Breastfeeding toddler -not a prob. Lovely that they are comforted by it. They might get quite a lot of calories from breast milk and that's not a problem. It's good for them. It does mean that the complementary foods they do eat should be energy dense and nutritious. Less focus on fruit.

Think about about cutting out juice and sticking with water/breast milk for both children. Juice is not nutritionally helpful really.

Hard to tell the amounts you are offering from the thread. Have you thought about keeping a diary for your own help in working it out including actual amounts?

A few mouthfuls could in fact be enough, depending on what it is. Just fruit for a meal or snack isn't nutritionally complete enough. Loads of suggestions in the two links I posted. You need to include protein and fat in each snack/meal, e.g. Cheese/full fat dairy, hummus, meat, nut butter etc. Vegetables are better than fruit generally nutritionally. Avoid flavoured/fruit yogurts, and stick to plain full fat.

Small regular meals snacks are better at that age, so e.g. Three meals and two snacks plus supper. Food every 2-3hrs in small amounts.

How active are they? They should be moving a lot. If they are not hungry enough to eat the above could they walk/cycle/scoot more? It is very easy when you are busy to not realise how little they are moving, even though you are (e.g. Younger child in buggy/sling, but you walking).

Your kids might be eating enough in calories, but you perceive it as picking because your expectation is that they will eat more. Or they might be eating enough, because they are not very active. Or they might be eating enough, but not of the best balance of things, or they might not. It is v hard to tell from this thread.

If you are worried, you could talk to the HV or GP.

Oh and sit down and eat with them the same thing they are eating. I can't see whether you have answered whether or not you already do this sorry.

My 2.5yr old is a terrible eater...probably eats less than your kids and survives mainly on snacks (of the non veg variety!). I too was sick of throwing food away. I’ve given her less snacks, more snacks, more lunch, etc...every combo. She just eats like a little bird, little and often.
She’s 95th for height and 50th for weight, bloody full of energy and very bright so her body is clearly getting exactly what it needs. My 5 yr old was the same and now eats loads and everything!
I think the important thing with food as you eat together and at the table, which you do...Just keep doing what your doing. X