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To shout at 6yo DS for wetting the bed the 4th time in a week

206 replies

Acunningruse · 20/10/2018 09:46

As above. DS has been toilet trained reliably since age 3, and dry at night since age 4. The last few weeks he's been wetting the bed perhaps once a week, last week it was around 3 times and even more this week.
I'm afraid I completely lost it at 2.30am when he wandered in and announced nonchalantly that "I've had a leak mummy" no you haven't had a leak you have weed yourself again!!
What's concerning me is he doesn't seem bothered at all, I would have thought at just turned 6 he would be embarrassed about it.

He seems really happy in all areas, absolutely thriving at school and generally an active happy boy so I'm at a loss as to what's causing it.

Any ideas? At 2.30this morning I threatened to put him in nappies but I really don't want to do this.

OP posts:

Imustbemad00 · 20/10/2018 20:44

I got annoyed with my child when he fell over earlier if it makes you feel any better. They’d been driving me mad for hours I was in a really bad mood and instead of comforting him I said “for God’s sake you shouldn’t be climbing and jumping around”. Felt bad about my lack of sympathy minutes later, feel worse now.


pinklemonade84 · 20/10/2018 20:46

To be honest, I don’t think the op will be back after all of the insults that she’s had thrown at her by the holier than thou brigade Angry

Some of you are absolutely disgusting, implying that she’s a bad mother and emotionally abusing her child. All because in a moment of tiredness induced frustrated weakness she shouted at her son. Get over yourselves!!!

Op if you do happen to see these posts, please get your little boy to a gp just to be on the safe side and definitely try the double layered sheet idea that a few people have mentioned xx


shelikesemwithamoustache · 20/10/2018 20:47

Check he doesn’t have a UTI, my 6 year old has been dry at night since 2.5 but has fairly frequent UTIs and the first sign is always bedwetting.


Ktay · 20/10/2018 20:50

We’re having this regression with 6yo DD2 too so have been reading suggestions with interest. Am keeping fingers crossed it will improve over the hols. One hunch I’ve had is that they aren’t allowed to lock the loo doors in Y2, so she avoids drinking during the day (to limit loo trips) and catches up late afternoon. I’ll talk to school if there seems to be a link.


RedDrink · 20/10/2018 20:53

Bed wetting is as others have pointed out fairly common at that age.

It's also common in children who have been physically or sexually abused or gone through trauma of some kind.


HotSauceCommittee · 20/10/2018 20:56

It’s good that he isn’t that bothered about it beyond feeling a bit yuk and uncomfortable! Don’t let him stress over it and if you are tired and losing it, get your partner to do his share at night.


LostInTheColonies · 20/10/2018 21:03

Is he also drinking more than usual, and/or eating more than usual? As a pp said, excess urination & the above are signs of t1 diabetes. I speak from experience.....


MrsTommyBanks · 20/10/2018 21:22

Your opening post broke my heart. My sister regularly wet her bed until she was 12.
My mother (no capital deserved) did nothing but blamed her. She was a child sent to school reeking of urine. Bullied, anxious, and sad.
Go to your GP. Tell your DS its OK, we can make it better. And for Jeff's sake just love him and be a Mum.


ChocolateCard · 20/10/2018 21:34

That is really nasty Sad.

He can’t control it.

He must be absolutely heartbroken.


OhEctoplasmOnIt · 20/10/2018 21:55

It isn't about a mum who has shouted once is it though? It's about a little boy being made to feel uncomfortable by his mum when he can't help it. And when someone says "the perfect parent brigade are here" that's usually because they feel guilty or can identify with the op.
I do shout at my kids yeah, but I don't ever think like the op.


tiredacademic · 20/10/2018 22:02

I’ve only seen diabetes mentioned the once—it’s worth keeping in mind. My brother started weeing the bed for no apparent reason when he was 8–which was one of the symptoms of diabetes


pinklemonade84 · 20/10/2018 22:06

@OhEctoplasmOnIt it’s true though! All of you laying into the op making out like she’s a bad parent (yep I read your disgusting comment earlier) and as I previously mentioned saying that she is emotionally abusing her son for the one time that she loses her temper!

Don’t imply that because I said “the holier than thou brigade” that I somehow have something to feel guilty for

Yes the op shouldn’t have shouted, but she has repeatedly pointed that out that she knows she wbu for that! In the op, I see a woman who’s made a mistake, stating that her little boy doesn’t seem embarrassed and asking for ideas as to what to do. Not some ogre that some of you seem to be painting her to be!

I’ve had a rough week with my dd being ill and there’s things that just haven’t crossed my mind because I’ve been so tired. So I’m hazarding a guess that’s why the op hasn’t thought to take him to the gp yet


Seeingadistance · 20/10/2018 22:15

I’m far from a perfect parent and there have been times when I have shouted at my DS.

But I never once shouted at him for wetting the bed, which he did regularly until he was 14 years old. He couldn’t help it, he wasn’t doing it on purpose and as he got older he did feel embarrassed about it. It was my role as his mother to take care of him, reassure him and deal with it.

OP, I think you should apologise to your son for shouting at him, and take him to the GP. My fried’s son was diagnosed with diabetes at a similar age when he started bedwetting.


Flowerpot2005 · 20/10/2018 22:24

A lot of perfect parents on this thread.

OP, ok shouting not great, give him a hug, apologise & explain, then move on.

UTI, changes at school or with friends, worrying about something can all cause him to wet the bed. He could also just be in really deep sleep. Do you get him up to go to the loo when you go to bed or get up yourself in the night, that could really help x


AtrociousCircumstance · 20/10/2018 22:26

Poor little boy.

Make it up to him.


ihatebeans · 20/10/2018 22:26

My nephew went through a phase of this. I know his mum limited his evening drinks and also made sure he went to the toilet before bed. He grew out of it just like your boy will. I wouldn't shout at him again but I totally understand why you did at that time in the morning. I would of done the same if I'm honest 🙈 we're all human!


feelsicksicksick · 20/10/2018 22:28

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GunpowderGelatine · 20/10/2018 22:49

I agree @pinklemonade84 the frothing on MN at the normal parents who aren't Mary fucking Poppins all day long is pitiful. I don't know if they're liars or just arseholes. What a massive over reaction from everyone 


BigRoundPumpkin · 21/10/2018 00:12

Poor little thing. Wetting the bed is not fun and I doubt was done on purpose :( could be bullying or uti or something :( hope he's ok :(


Hohofortherobbers · 21/10/2018 00:30

It's just a phase, he's probably more tired than usual and now that's a vicious circle because he's disturbed by wetting the bed because he's more tired than usual. Lift him and walk him to the loo for wee when you go to bed, break the cycle so he's not tired anymore, you'll only do it for week or so max then normal routine will be resumed


tiredgirly · 21/10/2018 00:49

Posters on Mon have been advised to report people who o as for much less!
It is not enough to say 'oh I was tired' for what was actually quite a nasty episode of emotional abuse. You have to learn to control yourself


tiredgirly · 21/10/2018 00:49

Report people to social services


pinklemonade84 · 21/10/2018 04:58

@tiredgirly don’t be so melodramatic! It was one time that the op shouted! Continued shouting every night/day I would call emotional abuse, not a one time moment where the op snapped because she is so tired

Yes the op shouldn’t have shouted. She has said twice that she knows she wbu for that and not been back since (probably because of the ridiculous pile on that has happened), I just hope that she has seen the people who have been nice enough to give sensible suggestions as to what she should do


tiredgirly · 21/10/2018 13:56

It's not the shouting that is the issue pinklemonade

It is the wishing the would be ashamed of himself, and threateninh a humiliating punishment (nappies) for something he has no control over, that is abusive


Petitepamplemousse · 21/10/2018 13:58

YABU and really horrible, your poor son.

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