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To shout at 6yo DS for wetting the bed the 4th time in a week

206 replies

Acunningruse · 20/10/2018 09:46

As above. DS has been toilet trained reliably since age 3, and dry at night since age 4. The last few weeks he's been wetting the bed perhaps once a week, last week it was around 3 times and even more this week.
I'm afraid I completely lost it at 2.30am when he wandered in and announced nonchalantly that "I've had a leak mummy" no you haven't had a leak you have weed yourself again!!
What's concerning me is he doesn't seem bothered at all, I would have thought at just turned 6 he would be embarrassed about it.

He seems really happy in all areas, absolutely thriving at school and generally an active happy boy so I'm at a loss as to what's causing it.

Any ideas? At 2.30this morning I threatened to put him in nappies but I really don't want to do this.

OP posts:

delilahbucket · 20/10/2018 09:54

Make sure he's drinking plenty during the day and not evening. And please don't shout at him, poor little guy. That's awful.


kalinkafoxtrot45 · 20/10/2018 09:54

Sorry, if he wets


Acunningruse · 20/10/2018 09:56

I know IWBU I really did think that was obvious. I understand shouting won't achieve anything but I'm only human and was frustrated at this happening again for seemingly no reason but thanks to the advice given I can see a trip to the GP is in order.

OP posts:

harshbuttrue1980 · 20/10/2018 09:56

God almighty. I hope he remembers this when you're old and senile and are peeing and pooping yourself and can't help it. Bedwetting is also likely to get worse if a child is scared rather than better! He'll keep wetting and lie in the wet rather if he's too scared to tell you. Is this what you want???


JeanHarlow · 20/10/2018 09:57

If he wets the bed he can’t help it. Loosing your temper with him will make him more anxious. As a child I was a bed wetter with a mother who lost it every time it happened. In the end I used to change my own bedding (I was very young) as I was scared to tell her.


Acunningruse · 20/10/2018 09:57

Has anyone read any of my subsequent posts?! 

OP posts:

oblada · 20/10/2018 09:58

Oh come on people!!! I have lost the plot too with my kids and regretted it! OP knows it wasn't the right thing to do but I can see how she could have lost it for a minute. I used to get frustrated with my bed wetting 5year old as she didn't seem bothered at all. I didn't shout or punish of course but sometimes it was hard to keep a neutral face. Especially as shed been out of day nappies since 18m-2yrs but the night just took an extra 3yrs... In the end one day it just stopped, not sure why.
Here - he used to be clean so it must be even more frustrating... I feel for you OP. Maybe a chat with the GP?


LimboLuna · 20/10/2018 09:58

Op has he had a growth spurt?


purplepandas · 20/10/2018 10:00

Agree trip to GP. I get it. My DD is now 7 as he was recently night dry for a month or so for the first time. Now not. Trying to get back in contact with paediatric continence service since no follow up since Feb apt. It's frustrating I know but shouting is not how to go. We both work FT and start early but are women most nights atm. Horrid I get it.


Acunningruse · 20/10/2018 10:00

No particular growth spurt, if anything I was thinking the other day some of his classmates have shot up compared to him.

He has just begun Y1 though and as a PP said extra tired due to extra workload so this could be a factor I hadn't considered.

OP posts:

Viebienremplie · 20/10/2018 10:01

My DS went through periodic bouts of bed wetting up until almost 8. It's absolutely not a proactive choice they are making so shouting is obviously pointless and cruel

I encouraged DS to change his own pyjamas and he would come quietly to sleep in our bed for the rest of the night without waking us. This at least removed the problem of broken sleep for us and the sheets were dealt with first thing in the morning.


BillywilliamV · 20/10/2018 10:02

Of course he cares OP, he thinks that if he limits his reaction then that might limit your reaction. Obviously didnt work.
Does your DP shout at you if your period blood gets on the sheets? Sometimes things can't be helped...


Gizlotsmum · 20/10/2018 10:05

Does he drink black currant? If so maybe try cutting that out, also tiredness can be a major factor. I think children are often matter of fact about things and don’t always come across as being upset. Doesn’t mean they aren’t


HeyMicky · 20/10/2018 10:05

OP, DD1 (6.1) wet the bed this week as well. DH was away, DD2 had been coughing all night and it took all my self control at 3am to remain pleasant.

With DD it's because she incredibly tired at the end of term. I've made it easy on myself for the rest of the week - just knickers, no PJ bottoms (less to wash), water proof sheet and dry nite mats, and double layered sheets to make night changes easier. Also double void before bed, so she has a wee before story and one after. And actually it was just the once. Hang in there, it's hard when you're tired


Ronnyhotdog · 20/10/2018 10:06

we had this with ds who is now 15 and doesn’t wet the bed. It started at about 5, suddenly bed wetting. It was every night, I took him to the gp when he was 6 who suggested he wasn’t drinking enough during the day so his bladder wasn’t being exercised and therefore became ‘lazy’ as soon as he relaxed and went to sleep his bladder relaxed and emptied itself, could not help it at all. We upped his liquid intake, asked his teacher if she would mind encouraging him to drink his water, they were happy to as it was for a medical reason. He became dry at night very quickly. Obviously don’t have him drinking a lot before bed though.
Shouting is never the best option but you know that already. Have a chat with him, apologies and give him a cuddle. It won’t last forever.


pudcat · 20/10/2018 10:08

He has suffered from UTIs previously so definitely worth getting that checked thank you.
Why did you not consider this when he first started wetting the bed? Limiting his fluid intake might make a UTI worse.


parrotonmyshoulder · 20/10/2018 10:09

Also, please don’t assume that bullying doesn’t happen in small village schools where everyone knows each other!


Legageddon · 20/10/2018 10:10

This has really upset me. Your poor DS

Imagine being shouted at by the person you
Love the most for something you can’t help, don’t understand and need help with.

Honestly this has made me so sad. Apologise to him.


StoppinBy · 20/10/2018 10:11

My almost 6 year old still has night accidents and they do get a lot worse towards the end of school term when she is tired.

When we notice it start to happen we take her to the toilet before we go to bed at night, which is usually at least 3 hours after she goes to bed. She doesn't even wake properly, my hubby carries her there and she kind of rocks around half asleep so need to hold her there, then back to bed and retuck her in.

It seems to avoid the wet bed thing.

You could also try worming him, our DD has picked up worms something shocking since starting school and sometimes the bed wetting does seem to coincide with another case of worms.


FFSFFSFFS · 20/10/2018 10:11

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LilMy33 · 20/10/2018 10:11

Ok, so he’s recently started wetting the bed having been dry for a while and he has a history of UTIs but instead of thinking “hmm maybe I should take him to the doctor” you yelled at him because he didn’t seem ashamed or embarrassed enough for your liking? Hmm


Notjustanyone · 20/10/2018 10:11

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MyOtherProfile · 20/10/2018 10:11

I know IWBU I really did think that was obvious.

It wasn't obvious, no. And you did post in AIBU so shouldn't be surprised to be tuld YWBU.


Willow789 · 20/10/2018 10:12

Poor thing. He needs to go to the GP not be shouted at by you! When I was 8 I started wetting the bed a lot. Turns out I had type 1 diabetes. Get some pull ups for him and make an appointment.

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