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To shout at 6yo DS for wetting the bed the 4th time in a week

206 replies

Acunningruse · 20/10/2018 09:46

As above. DS has been toilet trained reliably since age 3, and dry at night since age 4. The last few weeks he's been wetting the bed perhaps once a week, last week it was around 3 times and even more this week.
I'm afraid I completely lost it at 2.30am when he wandered in and announced nonchalantly that "I've had a leak mummy" no you haven't had a leak you have weed yourself again!!
What's concerning me is he doesn't seem bothered at all, I would have thought at just turned 6 he would be embarrassed about it.

He seems really happy in all areas, absolutely thriving at school and generally an active happy boy so I'm at a loss as to what's causing it.

Any ideas? At 2.30this morning I threatened to put him in nappies but I really don't want to do this.

OP posts:

salterello1 · 20/10/2018 13:55

Don’t give yourself a hard time, sleep deprivation is a terrible thing. Hope you get it sorted


Absofrigginlootly · 20/10/2018 13:56

Probably been mentioned but don’t have time to read he full thread but have you ruled out constipation??

Also, you must apologise to your DS


peakydante · 20/10/2018 14:02

We all lose it from time to time OP, sleep deprivation turns me into an unrecognizable monster I'm ashamed to say.

I was a bedwetter as a child. It went on sporadically until I was about 12! Don't really know the cause but I was a very anxious child so I'm guessing it was down to that? No bullying, lots of friends etc but a deep thinker and a worrier - is your DS like that?

My first thought was UTI though since it's been happening so frequently this week. Take him to GP to rule out medical issues and take it from there?

Hope you get some sleep soon Smile


Unicornandbows · 20/10/2018 14:04


I would suggest buying this to put over the bedsheets they are really really good and so quick to change..

Inconti-Pet - Washable, Reusable, Absorbent Puppy / Kitten Training, Incontinence Large Pads 90Cm X 75Cm - Pack Of 3


TotHappy · 20/10/2018 14:08

Op, just want to say that we have no reason to think you are a bully, emotional abuser or shit mum. Hopefully you know that and aren't taking this to heart at all.

Pp should be ashamed.


PoshPenny · 20/10/2018 14:10

My daughter would go through phases of wetting the bed when younger. No obvious reason, and it would resolve itself after a few nights of one of us waking her and taking her for a wee as we went to bed. She was always very reluctant to wake. All I can think of it was some subconscious confidence/anxiety issue.


peakydante · 20/10/2018 14:12

What you are doing is emotional abuse of a 6 year old infant

Actually spat my coffee on the screen 😂🙈 six year old "infant"?!

Don't be such a drama llama - the OP is clearly a concerned mother or she wouldn't be on here asking for advice.

Some people on here are nuts 😂


Mishappening · 20/10/2018 14:19

We all lose it sometimes so don't beat yourself up about it. You are a mere human being. I am sure you know it was not the ideal response.

Time to have a little chat with him - sorry I lost it sweetie, but I was feeling really tired. You must be as fed up with these wet beds as I am.

Then you can get him onside to deal with it together - e.g. going to GP to check he does jot have a UTI; putting in action strategies that you decide TOGETHER; gently probing about school or anything else that might be troubling him.


GoodbyeSummer · 20/10/2018 14:19

Ah so op isn't a troll! Just a shit mum. Thanks for clearing that up mumsnet.

Was there really any need for this? One shout, once, does not make someone a shit mum. If it does then I'd bet my life that you're also a shit mum. Think about what you're saying for goodness sake. You might not be able to see her but there's a real person behind the op's post.


Di11y · 20/10/2018 14:26

another to recommend a large waterproof pad on top of the sheets. at 6 I'd leave spare pjs on the bedside table and he can just whip off the pad with the wee and change pjs himself without waking you.

it's likely to be tiredness.


bubbles108 · 20/10/2018 14:30

Any ideas?


Learn to control your temper


Inthetropics · 20/10/2018 14:31

Haven't rtft. Sometimes kids who have been dry start to have "accidents" due to health problems. Diabetes could be one. UTI also comes to mind. Take him to the gp just to be sure it isn't anything like that.


SpagBowl99 · 20/10/2018 14:35

Hang in there, I know it's hard when you're tired. My third child wet bed until 10. No idea why, but boy it was tiring and frustrating. Other posters have made some good suggestions why, hope it resolved soonFlowers


TenForward82 · 20/10/2018 14:35

OP: Am I being unreasonable to shout at my son?

Everyone: YES!


If you apply this level of logic and consistency to your parenting, the kid's definitely having a rough ride.

You claim disturbed sleep as the culprit. Do you shout at him when he wakes up from a nightmare too? Give your head a wobble.


OhEctoplasmOnIt · 20/10/2018 14:39

Was there really any need for this? One shout, once, does not make someone a shit mum. If it does then I'd bet my life that you're also a shit mum. Think about what you're saying for goodness sake. You might not be able to see her but there's a real person behind the op's post.

Yeah I think so, it's not one shout, the way she explained her thinking was horrible. Suggesting he should be embarrassed, annoyed that he isn't bothered, its horrible.

Yes there's a real person behind the op, and there's a real child who has been made to feel like shit and a mum who thinks he should be embarrassed of doing something normal.


Allegorical · 20/10/2018 14:44

For goodness sake people his mum is not bullying him. God people are so quick to judge. She admits she lost her temper one night when she was in a tiredness fogg and didn’t understand why it was happening. She realises it wasn’t the best way to deal with it and is now looking to do something about it.
I can’t imagine there is a single mum on here that hasn’t lost their temper with their child at least once.
Sorry you are getting such a hard time op. This is AIBU at it’s worst.


looneymoons · 20/10/2018 15:03

Have these posters that are saying how horrible you've been etc etc never actually lost their temper with their children, ever?! Aren't we all human, don't we all make mistakes?! Through sleep deprivation and exhaustion we can all react sharply. The OP has said that she knows she had been unreasonable reacting like that. Seems like some posters lack empathy toward a parent - being a mum is bloody hard work at times. I'm not excusing shouting at children but I think all of us have done it at some point.

Definitely think a trip to the GP would be a good start.


Oblomov18 · 20/10/2018 15:15

Surprised OP is getting such s hard time.

No other posters on MN shout? Ever?

I shout, when pushed and pushed.

I talk to ds's about something. -and talk again! Remind them not to do it. Remind them again and again. After many many times, they do it again and I lose my cool.
"FGS how many times do I need to tell you"?


Oblomov18 · 20/10/2018 15:19

"Learn to control your temper"

"You bully"

FFS. A one off, sleep deprived shout.

Has shouting become the new snacking, has it?

Clearly 99% of the latest MN recruits, have never shouted, in their parenting journey so far.

I seriously find this bizarre. Shocking. News to me.


Oblomov18 · 20/10/2018 15:26

"Abusive parenting"

Ha ha ha.

I've heard it all now.

Plus, you can't read. One minute it's a shout, the next, your assumption and presumption have turned it into screaming and abusive parenting.

Ohhhh. I do love a good MN thread. 😁😉


looneymoons · 20/10/2018 15:42

OP I really hope you're ok as a lot of these posts have been horrible. Apologise to your son and make sure you try your best at staying level headed if/when this happens again but don't let these 'perfect' posters knock you down. I'm sure you're a fantastic mum, just doing your best but only human like the majority rest of us


Oblomov18 · 20/10/2018 15:47

One of my worst typing mistakes EVER:

"Has shouting become the new snacking SMACKING has it?


WellThisIsShit · 20/10/2018 16:57

@Oblomov18 ha! I was just guilty putting my biscuit down as I read that. Smacking makes so much more sense :)

And OP, I think any tone was lost in your first posts, and has led to a massive pile on. I was a bit taken aback too, but I think this is a bit much now, well, it was after the first page really.

I am rather struck by the circularity of this thread.

Posters are horrified that you reacted to your son not showing enough shame or upset... and yes, that wasn’t great, you wanted him to be more embarrassed so flew off the handle. Parenting fail. However posters have now given you a good kicking for doing exactly the same thing, not showing enough shame either in your posts... hummmmm.


Bluesheep8 · 20/10/2018 17:18

I started wetting the bed almost every night when I was in my mid teens. This went on for a couple of years. It was later linked to a diagnosis of M.S in my mid 20s.(not suggesting this is the case with your son) It's embarrassing and distressing and uncomfortable enough without being made to feel worse about it Hmm


TenForward82 · 20/10/2018 17:40

So @oblomov, op's ds is repeatedly wetting the bed when he's been told not to? Is that his crime?

I'm a parent, and I've lost my temper. I had bad PND. I didn't need to go on mumsnet and ask if I was BU, though.

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