To ask if you would have another child..

[Babyblues209]

With new man if you were in your early 40s and already had 3 nearly grown up DC?

If you've both talked about it and are both on the same wave length, go for it! just make sure you are realistic, baby groups and clans of mummies are not mandatory. If i could get away with it I would in a heartbeat.

If I could I would in a heartbeat. Not fond of baby/toddler stage but I love from about 4 up and I miss it. I have one adult child, always wanted more. It depends on what you want really. If you feel it's right then why not.

God no! I couldn't imagine starting all over again. Enjoy each other and travel..thats what I plan on doing In about 10 years when mine are grown up!!

Get a puppy or kitten instead !

I did mid 30s. My older two we adult and pre teen. I’m 40 now and shattered, the youngest has a disability and I can’t work, I’m not sure if he will ever be independent

My friend is the same age as me, her dc are adults now and her and her partner of 4 years are having a wonderful time .

DH is having the snip precisely so we don’t hit 40 and have a mishap or oddly broody moment when the three we have are all in their teens or approaching their teens.

I love them so much but I do look forward to them all being more independent (they’re 6 and under) and getting some of my own life back. The idea of putting all the trickyness behind us only to do it again in 10 years makes me shudder. It’s really hard right now though with all three in crazy stages and we still have lots of tears and tantrums!

But it is so personal, and I know of people who’ve had a surprise once their kids are grown and embraced it and found it brilliant. And actually only having one child and effectively raising it as an only would be nice.

But I wonder what your collective existing DC would think? I know of a few (catholic type) large families who have had their last baby as the eldest child has their first and I admit I find it strange and feel a bit sorry for the eldest child who is embracing parenthood for the first time but doesn’t get to have their parents doing the doting grandparent bit as they’re still raising a 5 year old or whatever. I’d highly resent that myself if I’m honest.

In your shoes I’d be waiting for grandchildren and buying a puppy.

Ha yes Fright DH has had the snip so we can't be tempted just as freedom beckons

DH had the snip, it's brilliant! Our sex life is wonderful! That holiday on our own was bliss, walking hand in hand on the beach, going for lunch and dinner on our own, having a drinkie on the boardwalk, shagging all over the hotel room . . .

Precisely @redgreen ...I think I’d weep if I had to start again in 10 years time

Oh, Fright, we saw loads of couples with toddlers and babies in prams. It was no nice to smile and nod at them.

I think you're broody for grandchildren. Keep nagging your children for them and get a dog in the interim.

I think you're broody for grandchildren. Keep nagging your children for them and get a dog in the interim

The eldest is only 18!

Noooo and my youngest is only 2 but no way would I even go back to proper hood again I left 5years between toddler and middle child and that was a big enough shock.

Do you think it’s not a proper relationship if you don’t have a child together?

God no! Loved having babies, loved even more the interesting stages as they grew, love their company now they are adults.
But I wouldn’t want to try to re-live it all again. Life is a series of new and rich experiences, and to start over again would mean missing out on other things

Yes! I definitely would.

I did. He's 2 now (I'm 44). I have 4 children from my first marriage who were aged from 12 to 19 when we had him. It's been great, completely different to having children when I was younger though.

Hell NO
Couldn’t think of anything worse than a combination of the menopause and a young child to look after.

No.

I had my (first & only) child at 43 and being a mum to a teenager at 60 is not much fun (probably not much fun for a teenager to have a 60 year old mum either ).

Many friends my age are enjoying term time holidays, generally relaxing more and enjoying time for new hobbies & interests; I am coping with teenage hormones, driving practice & university applications, plus elderly parents in their late 80s.

Do not do it.

Yes!! I did. Met second dh and we had what is my dc4 and his dc1.

It's understandable that within a relatively new relationship that you feel you would want to 'solidify' your relationship but I would be thinking about what else you could be doing with your life together- enjoying the kids you have, travelling, future weddings, grand babies etc. I personally wouldn't. Not meaning to sound crass but have you ever thought of a puppy? That could be something you and DH could experience together......

I wouldn't personally, but I know lots of people who have. I think you need to consider the idea of being almost 50 with a 5/6 year old. Would you be able to handle running around doing after school clubs/activities/playdates in 10 years time? I've got a friend in this situation who really resents having to do swimming lessons, sports activities, school discos etc, but feels guilty because she did it all for her older children.

Definitely no.

No way! I’d rather rip out my own womb!!

Thank you so much for all the replies, hopefully the broodiness will pass.

Life is a series of new and rich experiences, and to start over again would mean missing out on other things.

This. Having children is behind me, and I just need to look forward to the next chapter of my life.

It's just weird to be in a relationship with someone and then not have children with them. Can't explain it tbh