To ask if you would have another child..

[Babyblues209]

With new man if you were in your early 40s and already had 3 nearly grown up DC?

No. But, as a PP observed, I am not you

I wouldn't have any children at any time. It's all a matter of choice.

Do you live together?
How much involvement does he have with his kids?
Would you cope if it was twins?
Would you cope if the baby were severely disabled?

I'm just scared once I have the baby I'll think FUCK what did I just do?

Yeah, I don't think I could do it for the same reason. I think, say in ten years time, I might feel swamped with caring duties between raising my own child, perhaps with grandchildren on the scene, increasingly elderly parents and working obligations.

That's just me though.

Definitely no!
Could you get a pet?

If you both want a child and can get pregnant easily go for it.

Your other children will either love them or won't care. Most older children love them. Then again I'm very biased.

I had a dc at 43 with new dh!! Gap was 6 years to my youngest and oldest dd was 25!!
Ds is truly adored!!

Nope! But that’s probably because I am only just now coming out of the small children stage (4 and 8) with the youngest starting school, so the idea of doing it all again horrified me

You both have kids so in all honesty I think you should let it go and enjoy each other and have fun. If either of you didn't already have children then I would think differently.

Nope. The idea of the excitement is tantalising but...then there's the struggle of pregnancy, the soreness of birth, the tiredness and healing..and then as utterly adorable as babies are- the baby viruses/ germs / constant illnesses...exhausting! Then the temper tantrums, need to constantly have a plan b....no way. Thank goodness mine are all out of that stage. I don't regret a second but never again!

No way. 5 kids between you is more than enough. Enjoy your life together and don’t over complicate things.

No way on gods earth. But then I struggle to understand anyone wanting to go back to the baby / toddler stage once through it. I have a lovely life now the thought of going back to all that makes my blood run cold. All my friends bar none feel the same. But thats just me/us!

No. I wouldn't want to open the door to the stress of trying to conceive, perhaps finding you can't, the high risks of miscarriage, trisomies, other disabilities, twins. The effect of the pregnancy and birth on my poor body, the effect of the sleepless nights on my mental health when I have less spring and energy to face it.

Definitely not. You do not know if it will work, time is not on your side. Babys break relationships unless your solid.

Enjoy your life as it is. 5 between you both is plenty. I can never understand how some ladies have a new relationship new baby repeatedly. Like Katie price for example it is only luck Alex didn't father one.

Absolutely not.

Definitely not. 5 kids between you is more than enough.

No way on gods earth

No way. Why do you want a 4th child? The planet is overpopulated anyway.

If I were you, I would be rejoicing at the fact that my children were adults AND I was only in my 40's. there's so much more to life than rearing children.

Yes if thats what you want, but expect it to be tough. had my 3rd at 42 and with a 17 and 18 yr old. mine wasn't by choice but we manage. DS3 is amazing. But i do struggle, don't have same patience and it is tiring.

How is he with his existing kids? Unless very involved, absolutely not.

Also the risk of disabilities does increase the older the mother and father is. And by the time most people hit their 50s, they will have at least one elderly relative that needs some help.

I think early 40s is fine for a baby, it would be having a teenager in my late 50's/early 60s that would scare me.

If it’s what you both want then go for it, you may regret it in a few years if you don’t? I can’t stay what I’d do as not in that situation, I’m approaching 40 and in a new relationship but we both have young children anyway so wouldn’t be such a ‘step back’ iyswim?

No way.

Looked after my 2yo neice for the day and was absolutely fucked by the end of it.

Early 40s here. 1 DD who is nearly 10 and absolutely loving life 🤣

I don't know and can't offer any practical advice as I am in a similar position, we have 4 children between us. I genuinely do not know if I really do want to start all over again or whether its just in my head because having another baby is now an option whereas it wasn't for a good few years (exH sneaked off and had the snip - whole other story!).

The thought of never having that experience of a baby with my current partner makes me feel really sad but I don't know if that is a good enough reason to have another child.

I'm also one of those people that loves being pregnant and having newborns so I could have 10 kids and still not feel 'done' but for me I keep coming back to this:

You will never regret having another baby, not ever, you will love that child no matter what but you may regret NOT having another one and once the time has passed that is it.

Good luck with your decision! xx

I'd do it in a heart beat. I live the baby stage. My kids are 9 and 19 currently. If you both are happy, healthy and solvent then go for it.

Maybe if I could see it lasting and he didn't already have children I would think about it, but as he has children already I wouldn't. I love children but I'm so looking forward to getting into my 40's and being able to do what I want without having to alway think of the children first.

You will never regret having another baby, not ever, you will love that child no matter what

I really do not know why people keep repeating this. I've heard several women, both on here and in real life, candidly admit that they regret a child, especially if it just took them one beyond what they could really cope with, or took them back to the baby stage when they were out.